You Can't Have It Both Ways

On the O'Reilly Factor I had the displeasure of learning of the existence of a woman named Laura Ingrham. The topic of discussion was on the Bejing Olympics, but she had to make her views on gays kissing on TV known, which was the topic of the segment before her. She was saying how disgusted she is with this song "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry. (awesome song) Specifically, she was outraged of some peck on the lips Whoopi Goldberg gave Katy Perry, during with award show. It was literally less intimate than how I kiss my grandmother. So fine, she's outraged about the gays taking over the air waves.

They move on to the main topic of Bejing, and more particularly how China is going to restrict internet access. The Chinese government is evidently not going allow guests to access certain websites, mainly pertaining to Tibet. Oh, how outraged she was that China would dare block access to these sites. You can't pretend that these people don't exist in Tibet. THEY MUST BE HEARD!

Ahem... Excuse me, but you were just saying before that there should be no homosexual acts allowed to be aired on TV, regardless of whether they're in jest or not. So I guess we should only censor the TV and internet as long as you're cool with it. Hey Laura, I guess you didn't catch this week's episode of Weeds. You know, where Silas is preforming full on cunnilingus on a significantly older woman. Granted it's Showtime, so they can get away with that more. But in this day and age Showtime is accessible to many a 12 year old.

I guess she's okay with minors hooking up with older women. Trust me honey, it's never happening for you. My gaydar tells me Silas (Hunter Parrish) is on my team. Sucks to be you. Stick to Army Wives. They probably get as much action as you do, minus when their husbands come home.

The Pilgrimage

My #1 Fag Hag and I are currently planning a trip to California. I was really hoping to save my money for a trip to Buenos Aires, but I doubt I will be able to afford it, or find someone to go with, so Cali will have to do.

Tentative Schedule:
Friday, Sept 5: Night flight to L.A.

Saturday: Sightsee - I personally have very little interest in L.A. but my hag insists

Sunday: Maybe check out a school for the hag
Drive to San Diego

Monday: San Diego Zoo and Sea World - sealllsssss!!!!!!

Tuesday: Beach Day, possible surfing lesson cause we're that cliché

Wednesday: Maybe check out another school
Drive to L.A.
Afternoon flight to San Francisco

Thursday: Sightsee in San Fran - I've been very resistant to SF because of feeling like a huge stereotype, but my dad says it's the best city of the three. I'm secretly petrified that I'm going to love it too much.

Friday: Alcatraz

Saturday: Red eye flight - allows for maximum hanging out in San Fran

I'm hoping that we're not going to be moving around too much. We wanted to see all three cities, and couldn't afford to spend too much time in any one place. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. But I warned my Hag that if I fall too desperately in love with any of those cities I would kill her because there is zero P.A. job market out there, and my current Goal City has an amazing P.A. job market.

Medical Post

I know you've been dying for a medical post. Well here it is.

For the EMT course we're required to learn how to take vitals, thus we need to own a blood pressure cuff. Also known as, sphygmomanometer. But that's an obnoxious word.

BP Cuff #1: Calibration is off. Readings are all too high. Needle doesn't zero.

BP #2: Needle gets stuck once it goes past 140.

BP #3: Replacement gauge for #2 isn't calibrated correctly. This time the needle goes past zero and starts at 300. All reads are too low.

Note to self: don't buy BP Cuffs from Wallgreens or Ebay ever again. I'll keep you updated as to whether I ever get a working BP cuff.

Gay Moment

I feel like I have to apologize about the lack of medical-ness of this blog lately. But my medical life is somewhat static right now. I'm in my EMT class, but it's not really worth talking about. My applications for PA school are done, so until I get a job after the summer I guess medical talk is at a stand still.

Which brings me to my disclaimer: I apologize for going GAY two posts in a row.

If you live in California, please make sure you're registered to vote, and also please consider voting AGAINST the BAN on Gay Marriage. It's legal now, but not if this ban gets passed in the upcoming elections.

I don't even think anyone who reads the blog is from Cali. I do, however, have a friend who is, and I asked him to make sure he's registered and to vote. He said that he probably wasn't going to because "it doesn't really matter to me much." Wow, thanks a lot jackass. I let it slide at the moment, but I'm going to call him out on it soon.

So This is the Single's Life

One of my top priorities this summer/"year off" was to make some kind of attempt to have a dating life. Although I'm doing slightly better than anticipated, that's still not saying much. I didn't really think I was going to make it to my first gay bar, or start online conversation with strangers. But sometimes I surprise myself.

Going to bars is kind of rough when you don't have anyone to go to bars with, or going with straight girls - that actually draws some strange glares. I've scoured the online dating/gay community thing and I'm not seeing a ton of winners. You wouldn't believe the absolute man whores that are out there. Seriously, do you think being shirtless and looking like an coke addict is suppose to be a turn on? I know it's common for the gays to go through a slutty stage, but I've always been advance for my age, and I'm choosing to skip that grade.

My biggest problem seems to be my location. Living in the suburbs isn't exactly prime real estate for single, college graduate, gay guys. I have a very, very major city nearby, (hint: scroll down a couple of posts) but who the hell wants a 40 minute commute for casual dating? All this tempts me to move to the city, but that's too impractical for me. I'm most likely going to be able to find a job around here after I get my EMT. I'm living rent free. And since I'm planning on going to school next year (and year after) it's probably smarter to save my money, than spend it on rent and other expenses.

I get really excited when I do searches for guys in Dream City. I see lots of desirable guys. But, alas, they are 4 hours away. It also makes me really nervous that this is my only chance to meet these guys. This is irrational though. There is no reason to believe that there won't be an equal variety of desirable men in 1-3 year to come.

So the future looks bright, but where does that leave me in the present? I hate the single's world already. Am I really just going to be sitting in relationship limbo for the next year?

Throwing It Out There

Can I just say how sick and tired I am of hearing all of this celebrity "news?" And more specifically I'm sick about hearing how this girls boobs are weird looking, this girl has too many freckles, this one has cellulite and this one is in rehab again. Can you blame any of them for having substance abuse problems when you have these kinds of jackasses talking nothing but shit about them? I seriously am fucking sick of it.

This one DJ, JJ on z100 (New York), does nothing but trash on all these girls. I fucking hate him. Well, I also hate him cause I think he's an awkward ass DJ, but that's besides the point. As far as I'm concerned his just a fatter, hairy, uglier version of Perez Hilton. And Perez is by no means a looker. Oh and he's always wearing these stupid ass do-rags. You know why? Cause he's totally bald. JJ, you're a white slob. You're not fooling anyone.

I'm now going to refuse to listen to Z100 while he's on the air.

Post-College Depression

I feel as if a lot of my friends who just graduated college are becoming really depressed. I wish I knew how to help them out but I don't. It all makes me feel like I should be depressed, but I'm not. Sure I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I realize that it all takes time and that life changes. You can't have super specific goal that if not achieved will ruin your life. If you keep general goals that you are constantly moving towards then it gives you a feeling of accomplishment. The hard part is figuring out that goal you want to move towards. I think a sense of productivity helps a great deal when combatting depression. And once a goal is met you shouldn't become static. Keep things fresh and have new things you want to accomplish. I'm accepting the fact that I probably will not want to work in medicine forever. I'm too scattered to stay in one profession. I accept this, and don't plan on freaking out if after 10 years in medicine I want to do something new. I need to find projects for my friends.

Disturbia

Which is more distubring?

#1 - Last night I have a bunch of people over. I go into the bathroom and see the tooth paste tube out and squeezed from the middle. I never squeeze from the middle. Also it should have been in the drawer. On top of this I feel my tooth brush and it's wet, and I hadn't used it since that morning. Someone used my tooth brush. Who does that?

#2 - I go to the dermatologist today for my yearly body scan. I'm very, very Irish, and very, very pale with many moles even though my skin never sees the sun. (That made me sound gross) So my PA whom I've gone to for over 5 years and love asks me why I never followed up on my positive biopsy from last year. I earnestly tell her that I never knew it came back positive. She told me that they sent something home and called. I tell her that I had definitely been aware to look for something in the mail, but they send something home regardless of the results. I also told her that she had told me they would call me with positive results and I definitely never got a call. She then goes, "Oh, yeah. There's no note here that they called." She then shows me my chart at the spot it would be written in.

Thank God she told me that they were just abnormal cells that needed to be removed, but not serious. Leaves me to assume they're basal carcinomas. I really should have asked, but she said not to worry, so I guess I left my guard down. I looked up what basal cells look like on the back, and it's basically exactly what was on my back - a blotchy, light brown, ill-defined bordered lesion. It was not super dark, as typical melanoma.

My mom is pissssssssed. I'm kind of indifferent, which is probably a bad thing. I'm chalking it up to a lesson learned - always call to hear the results of your tests, don't assume they'll call you.

Thoughts?

Alive

I'm alive. I successfully graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Science. I'm currently taking an EMT course in hopes of working in an ER at the end of the summer as an ER tech. The class makes me kind cry because of how much I already know. Why cry? Cause I'm bored shitless and they dumb everything down so much that it hurts. The entire human anatomy in 2 hours? Sweeet...

I know. I'm a cocky jackass.

Job Results

So I didn't get that job I interviewed for. They told me today that they found someone else to fill the position. Today I checked Craig's List for more jobs and I'm fairly sure they reposted the job opening because it specifically had two very different locations and job responsibilities for criteria. So basically even when I'm compared against no one I'm not wanted as a worker. Fucking swell.

Sleep, a Necessary Evil

Yesterday I slept until 1PM. I then feel back asleep at around 5PM, until 8PM. No wonder I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. At 7AM I gave up trying to sleep and went to campus to study and go to my 9:30AM class.

Now I'm trying to stay awake until at least 8PM. My game is so weak it's unbelievable. I had some coffee before I was tired and it destroyed my stomach. I hate my school's coffee. This means I can't handle drinking anymore coffee. I also have a class at 6:30-7:45PM and I need to study a lot tonight. I think sleeping in the afternoon is going to be inevitable, which will just further screw up my sleeping schedule. I don't know how I get myself into these situations.

I <3 White People

A new website that I'm in love with. Basically because it's the story of my life.

Stuff White People Like

Outraged

Have you heard of this new movie coming out, Made of Honor?

Basic premise: guy and girl have been best friends forever. Guy never ties the knot with a girl because he's assumed to be a casanova. As soon the girl gets engaged, guy friend falls wildly in love with his best friend. He then tries to break up his best friend's wedding, and win the girl.

Where have we heard this story before?

Oh right...


My Best Friend's Wedding. One of the only chick flicks I've ever grown to love. I don't care how McDreamy you may be Patrck Dempsy. Julia trumps you forever.

Cardiothoracic Surgery

Finally got a taste of surgery - aortic valve replacement. I've come to a great conclusion.

Dealing with unconscious patients is infinitely better than dealing with talking ones.

Causing a Ruckus?

I may, or may not have caused a ruckus in the comments section of The Stranger's blog, Slog. It had to do with whether it's right to have higher taxation of the upper class since it hurts them less. It's a very liberal audience, and I'm a stubborn moderate. Yes, I said moderate and that's what I'm going to keep on calling myself regardless of the fact that I don't believe in socialism. There are plenty of "liberal" ideals I support.

If you actually came to this site via Slog then feel free to comment and continue the discussion. I enjoy it.

The Interview: Recap

Every issue that I was hoping wouldn't come up did.

- Directly asked what I was looking to be paid
- Admitting that even though I have all those "clinical experiences" I really have no surgical experience
- Needing to admit that I would only be working there for a little over a year, until PA school started

We'll see. When it comes down to it I'm still (really) cheap labor and I'm still totally brighter than what's required for this job. I should hear by the middle of next week.

Terrible Person?

I just finished watching The English Patient, sparked by seeing that Seinfeld episode one too many times. I've always suspected that I was a heartless person. Well, I kind of know that I'm a heartless person. This somewhat troubles me. But after seeing Brokeback Mountain I thought there was a glimmer of hope that I might have a heart. Evidently, this movie is suppose to really tear you apart inside, so I thought I'd test myself.

End result? Nope, didn't really get that worked up. If you haven't seen it, and plan on seeing it, STOP READING FROM THIS POINT ON!!!!

I don't know. There was something about their relationship that kind of bothered me and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was married. My main problem was with the Count. He seemed kind of crazy, irrational and obsessed. I almost felt like he didn't love her as a person, but as an item. She was like a prize that no one else could have, and he needed her like a drug. I don't know, I guess some people would call this love. I don't know what would need to be different to make it more acceptable to me. I thought the love story between the nurse and Sayid (from LOST) was sadder.

Don't get me wrong though, I did enjoy the movie. I wasn't pleading for his death like Elaine, and I would gladly watch it again. In fact I would gladly watch it again to see if there was something I missed in the development of their relationship, but I'm fairly sure that I got an accurate picture of it.

The Interview

Last night I sent my resume out to a job advertising for a medical assistant/surgical tech position. Generally I wouldn't consider myself qualified to be a surgical tech., since I don't even know what they do, but I fulfilled the requirements listed. It's the perfect job for me. They said it particularly well suited for people looking to expand their medical and surgical knowledge and skills. Considering that I want to be a surgical physician assistant I figured this was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. It also said that applicants should be good at reassuring patients before, during and after procedures. I'm good with patients, they like me, I can handle that. PLUS the practice is in my town.

I wasn't too hopeful about hearing back though, as I'm not professionally trained in anything related to surgery, or being a medical assistant at that. Also I generally get the feeling from this web site that jobs posted need to be filled sooner, rather than later. So I made it clear that I wasn't going to be available to work until after graduation, May 17.

Less then 12 hours later I received an e-mail asking if I was available to interview this upcoming Monday. OF COURSE I AM.

I'm assuming they actually looked at my resume and determined that I was indeed technically qualified and capable of performing the job. So I'm going to go into the interview with a positive attitude assuming that it's just them making sure that I'm not a nut case. Hopefully I can fool them.

The practice also looks very, very elite which is why I'm giving as little descriptive information as possible. But basically I have to look really well put together, and bring it.

An Experiment

To help study for genetics tests the professor has each student submit 5 review questions along with possible answers, the correct answers highlighted. To study for this I will be using mainly Wikipedia with the review packet. My notes are fairly useless, since we are barely given any, and the textbook is horrible. It reads more like a history book than a science text book.

I'll let you know how this goes.

So Far, So Suck

Attempted to get my animal behavior study observation done today. Woke up early. Had breakfast. Made a cute little lunch to eat at the zoo. Printed directions from Google Maps. It was all going so well. I was looking forward to spending time with the otters.

I made one major mistake. I followed the directions.

The google map directions took me to the middle of fucking no where. It claimed that that was where the zoo was. It wasn't. It brought me along the most off roading road I've ever been on around here. We're talking single lane (for both flows of traffic) and made entirely of large rocks.

I gave up, came home and looked at the directions again. The actual directions are the easiest thing in the world. How the fuck google maps had picked that specific road for the zoo to be on I'll never know.

I've now decided that this is a sign that I should spend the afternoon studying for tomorrow's Genetics test and not try to cram all night. This is going to suck the big one.

I think I'm going to skip my classes on Tuesday and try again at the zoo. There is a 40% chance of thunder storms. I'm going to pray it doesn't happen. Odds are on my side, but that's never helped me before anyway. Should it not work out I may have to ask for an extension on the paper. It's due April 10, but if I have to wait until next weekend to go to the zoo, then that means I can't go over my data with the professor until the week the paper is due. I may still be able to get it done on time doing that. It's just cutting it kind of close.