Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Wish I Had a Drinking Habit

My mother is driving me to drink.

I don't even have enough time to elaborate. Freaking science...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sidenote

I'm gay. Finally told people. Just thought I would share.

I'm still neurotic.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Limbo

I was put on the alternatives list. I don't even know what I'm suppose to do now. It says I can be accepted up until August 2008. Do they even take people off the list before the deadline dates? Should I be calling them regularly to see what my chances are looking like? I don't know what to do.

Tomorrow I have to call them and tell them that I want to be kept on the waiting list. I'm also going to tell them that they're my number one choice and that they would be receiving a deposit check as soon as I was accepted.

Ugh, I'm basically just going to put this out of my mind and hope and wait for some word from the other schools I applied to. Unfortunately though, my friend who sent in her application a couple of weeks after we has already gotten interview requests from schools I also applied to. This leaves me to believe that I will not be not be receiving any calls from them since I'm sure they're not going to run dry of good applicants to interview any time soon.

New Objective: Think up back up plan.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

So Stupid

So evidently there are vaccines out for bacterial meningitis? This is news to me. I was still under the impression that vaccines were only for viruses.

<--- Stupid.

PS - still no word from the school. I'm slowly (read as: quickly) losing my mind.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Errrrrrrr

The school said that we should have our letters of rejection/acceptance by the end of the week. I haven't received one and according to SDN nor has anyone else. Unfortunately Monday is a holiday. Gonna have to stress out and dream about opening mail for the next 3 nights.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Lymphedema is the gross...

I just ate two whitecastle burgers and some curly fries. I then watched some of The Heaviest Man in the World on TLC.

Jesus Christ.
Excuse me while I throw up in the bathroom.

Friday, September 28, 2007

Buuuuurn

My super smart, perfect GPA, gunner student friend got a couple of interview requests. One of them happens to be for my initial first choice school, which is extremely close to my home town. She handed in her applications much later than I did. I haven't heard a word from the school. They only request secondaries from people they're going to interview. I guess this means I have one less secondary to write...

I'm a little discouraged, but only because this puts so much more pressure on me getting into the other school. Well, there is nothing I can do about it now. Just have to wait.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Oh, PS - I find out in less than two weeks

Again, High Hopes

I think the interview went well. I had been specifically applying to a Problem-Based Learning (PBL) pathway, and the majority of the questions seemed to make sure that you were well suited for it. The questions, as expected, were centralized around communication skills, ability to lead a group and handle stress. I'm pretty confident my answers made me come off as a good fit for such a program.

The only question they really grilled me on was "why osteopathic medicine?" I told them how initially I was attracted to it because I agreed with their treating philosophy, but now it has more to do with the emphasis on primary care and closer and more personalized relationships I've seen osteopathic physicians have with their patients as opposed to the allopathic physicians. The "bad cop" then continued to say but why osteopathic medicine? It sounded like he wanted me to start hating on allopathic physicians, but I wouldn't go down that road. I simply stuck with what I said. I really don't know what else there is to say.

They asked how I like to communicate with people and give an example. I told them that when speaking with people I always like to actively engage them. When with new people I ask lots of questions and try to relate myself to them because I think it brings us to a quick level of comfort. I then supported this with a story of how I turned the quietest person I ever met into quite the talker, at least when around me. And that I'm able to reach a lever of conversation I haven't seen him have with many other people that he's known for as long. On top of this, we also have very few similar interests. I then also related my skills to patient contact. I told them how I find patients to feel very comfortable around me and that I'm often able to get plenty of information out of them without them possibly even realizing.

When it came to my leadership skills I told them that I don't see the job of a team leader to tell the group what to do. I see it as a job to coordinate an effort. I also went on to say how I think it's important to, again, engage everyone by asking them their opinion of how to go about solving a problem and then come to an agreement on the best option. I stressed the importance of having a diverse pool of perspectives. I was also asked how I would handle a disagreement within a group. I said you can't just throw out someone's ideas just because you don't agree with them. You have to go through the reasoning behind their conclusion even if it means going through it in excruciating detail. They kind of grilled me a little on this one too asking what do you do if the person will absolutely not compromise. I mean what are you suppose to do in that case? I said I generally end up just going along with the other person's plan until I see it going just slightly off course and am then quick to point out the flaws manifesting into reality.

After the interview we sat through a two hour PBL session. This. Was. Awesome. The intensity of everyone trying to figure out what was going on in the case was simply overwhelming. There were 8 people in the group, plus one facilitator and easily 40+ 5'' thick textbooks covering the desk. I was also completely blown away by the knowledge that these early OMS II's had. The whole time I felt like I was listening to a foreign language. I mean I'm by no means medically illiterate, but this was like me listening to spanish and getting excited when I recognize a phrase. And the jumping between subjects every second was awesome. Learning each subject in relation to the others makes so much more sense to me. One second they're going through lab results, then they're flipping through their histology atlas to identify a lung tissue sample, then they're talking about the physiology of the lungs and what could be leading to this disorder, which then brings them to their microbiology and pathology text books to identify the causative agent. Then when they realize it's a common bacteria they look for what gave this opportunistic organism the upper hand. So they looked at other symptoms that probably weren't so much caused by the disease, as much as signs of lifestyle choices which gives an idea of what the patient is at a greater risk of getting. I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it. I thought sitting through the class was going to be the worse part, but it was easily the best.

Sorry Dr. Panda, but you're dead wrong about PBL.

Basically I now have this school as my number one choice, (and funny enough my only possible current choice!) even though I won't have access to the rotation sites I want, but that's fine. My mom and friend both said I need to write a thank you e-mail to the dean of admissions or someone like that. I'm normally completely against this cause I despise all forms of ass kissing, but I think I should really get the point across that PBL is something I'm committed to and that after that meeting it unexpectedly went to the top of my list.

Thoughts anyone?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Pulling Out All the Tricks

This will probably be the last time that I post before my interview on Monday. After reading the summaries of the interviews at this school on studentdoctor.net I'm feeling much more relaxed. Everyone goes on and on about how they try so hard to make you feel comfortable, and that they don't have any tricky questions. Granted, these summaries are all from previous years, but from what I see the questions seem to stay the same year to year. The questions they ask seem to be centered around leadership and communication skills.

One thing I'm not looking forward to: it's 90˚F and hummmmmid at the school. Here at my current school it's just finally started to become crisp and cool. Fall is probably my favorite season. Where the medschool is I don't think it ever goes below 75˚F. Whatever, for 2 years I can totally deal. (The last two years I think can be spent rotating mostly where ever you please)


Well that's all I really have to say. Keep your fingers crossed!!! (Where the hell did that tradition come from?)

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

In hopes of forcing myself to work out I sold my credit card's soul to the people at Planet Fitness for the next 12 months. I wonder if that tactic is really going to get me to go to the gym...

I signed up for an upper body orientation thing for tomorrow. I did this is hopes that if I'm shown what to do, then I won't feel awkward doing it later. I think I just have to get over the fact that there are other people around me when I work out and trust that it's really a JUDGMENT FREE ZONE! **stick fist out with thumb up here**

Oh motherfucker, I just read the first of what I'm sure are many fine-print restrictions. I got a "black card membership" which claimed to allow access to all other planet fitness locations, which was good cause there is a planet fitness back home. But no, oh no, you're only allowed to visit non-home locations 10 times a month. We'll see how closely they follow that stipulation when the summer rolls a round.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

I forgot to mention when my interview is scheduled for.

It's on Monday Sept. 24 from 8:00AM-2:00PM.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Rainy Mondays Are the Best!!!

It's raining today. I woke up around 8:30AM, but my first class of the day isn't until 6:30PM. I have absolutely nothing planned but I couldn't fall back asleep.

I go on my computer for a little while not doing much of anything, as usual. All of a sudden I get a phone call from a very strange phone number. I have absolutely no idea who this could be. I pick it up and listen carefully to who it is because I have terrible listening comprehension when it comes to being on the phone. "Hi, this is H****** from *insert medical school here*"

Jesus Christ, that's actually one of the schools I applied to. How will I break it to them that they have the wrong person?

I have to be honest. As soon as I realized they were calling from a school I immediately thought, wow they really call people to tell them they're rejected - that's interesting.

So I'm basically just going to be giddy all day and make huge slashes in the puddles outside.

It was a really good thing I couldn't go back to sleep.
w00t!

[Edit: Addition] One more thing... 1. Someone reassure me that they don't request interviews just to reject people, 2. I need some good anti-nausea medication - that set in real fast

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Stressful Lunch

You would think that after being in a foreign country for 3 weeks I would feel comfortable ordering food in its corresponding American eatery. But this is not the case. Today I went to lunch at an Italian deli and I was actually more worried about making a fool of myself there than any place I ordered food in Italy.

That is all.

Friday, August 31, 2007

To Prove to Dad That I'm Not a Fool

I'm back at school. I've been back since Tuesday. I thought that I was going to be able to plug my cable modem and internet into the wall and have it work. How silly am I? Even though I never canceled my subscription they still need to come to my new apartment to "turn things on," whatever that means. I don't remember anyone needing to turn anything on last year. They're not able to come until WEDNESDAY. I think this is a little ridiculous considering I went to see them on Tuesday. Oh well. Until then I'll just watch Battlestar Galactica on my laptop. I'm so happy I bought that on DVD this summer. NEEEEEEERD

Oh, I also have finished ALL of my secondaries. I have nothing to do now but sit and wait. But I don't think they tell you if they're not going to request an interview, so I could be waiting a very long time for nothing to arrive.

Classes start on Tuesday and I'm really pumped. Just in case you all forgot what I was taking this semester:

Vertebrate Physiology + Lab -- HORRAY LABS WITH MICE!!
Science, Medicine and Ethics -- I'm going to rock the socks off ethics, again
Human Nutrition -- An easy "A" 300 level science course? Who would have thought?
Ireland: History and Politics -- Finally going to learn something about my heritage (btw - I'm 100% Irish)

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Back in the Saddle???

If anyone could go into my mind and help sort out my issues that would be great.

Over the past couple of days I've been looking at PA salaries, job opportunities at different types of hospitals, rules and regulations by state, etc. All this accomplished was make me want to be a doctor again.
God damn it.

When it comes down to it I want the autonomy that comes with being a physician. I don't want to have to run everything I do past someone else. Uggggh.

The french guy asked me if I had a 40 MCAT score and a 4.0 GPA would I still be thinking about PA school. The truthful answer is probably not. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't. He also asked if I've truthfully done everything I could in school. Have I done everything? No, because you can always do more. Have I worked my fucking ass off? Yes. I truly think that my GPA will be better after this upcoming year. And since I'll be taking a total of 6 science courses I can really swing that sci-GPA in the positive direction.

So where does this leave me? I suppose I'm gong to give these applications all I've got and even give them a shot next year if need be. Screw the one school that rejected me. They're new and need a "safe" incoming class. The other schools might be more willing to take a chance with me. I'm doubtful though. I'm still foreseeing the future being me not getting in anywhere and applying next year. But I think I'm okay with that. I won't apply to PA school this year. Next year I'll get a medical assistant job, make some money, and apply again. Ready....break!

Any bets for when when I flip flop next?

Also, viva la france! (en espaƱol)



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Wednesday, August 22, 2007

A Moment of Mental Weakness

Ugh, I think I'm having second thoughts about med school. (the biggest second thought in my life) I think I want to be a PA.

I want to finish this year with the easier classes and fully set for applying and getting into PA school. I want to then take my year off while applying to PA schools next year and get a job as a medical assistant at some practice. Craig's list has lots of these jobs available in my area. And I'm actually well qualified for the jobs cause I have some clinical experience and can definitely do mundane diagnostic tests because of my lab experience.

But do I really want that? Should I finish the secondaries, which I think is just a waste of money at this point?

If I can't see myself applying to med school next year should I bother this year? I feel like this whole situation is a big hint that I should get out of medical school before it's too late. Cause what if I did by some slim chance got into one of my least desirable med schools? I don't even think I would want to go to them at this point. I've totally reconsidered going to school far from home. Well, that's not entirely true. Funny enough I would still go to Ireland, but that's not an option.

What is causing this breakdown? I think medical school might be a much bigger commitment than I anticipated. 4 more years of schooling is just starting to sink in. And then a minimum of 3 years of being a poor resident after that. I want to move on with my life; not wait till I'm 29 to start it.

Maybe I'll get my sanity back next time I talk to you all.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

The First Rejection

Today I got my first letter telling me that because of my science-GPA (2.77) they would not be requesting me to fill out a secondary application. The good thing, they didn't let me waste my money because they had an exorbitant secondary application fee - about 4 times more than the average. The bad thing, this was the school that my advisor told me to apply to as a total backup. I'm basically giving away what school this was, but they've yet to have a graduating class. Needless to say, this is a huge blow to my hopes of getting in anywhere.

With this slap of reality I'm reevaluating what I should be doing with my life. Some of the questions I'm asking myself:

- Should I bother filling out the secondaries?
- Should I apply to PA school right now?
- Would I get into PA school?
- Should I even go into health care?
- If I didn't what would I do after graduation?

I'm thinking that I need to basically abandon the med school thing. And to be quite frank the idea of being poor for the next 7 years (min) doesn't please me. But this is me just trying to make myself feel better. I'm going to fill out the secondaries and send them in, but I'm not putting any hope into this. And I honestly don't think I'll be that upset anymore. Well, let me rephrase this. If I go to PA school as opposed to med school I won't be upset. At least, I don't think I will be.

So this brings us to our next step: Getting into PA school.

There are a couple of differences between med school and PA school requirements. One is that many more PA schools require biochem, than DO schools. Another thing that's different is that most PA schools require A+P (anatomy and physiology). I was planning on taking Vert. Phys. and Comp. Anatomy, which are the harder courses recommended by my school for the premeds. There are some PA schools though that request that you only take A+P instead of VP and CA. Also, some PA schools require crazy amounts of documented health care experience - some as high as 1000 hours. I'll be graduating with about 135 hours, but this is enough for plenty of schools. There is also the matter of my science GPA. There are plenty of schools that require that you have a 3.0 science GPA, which I still don't have. This could very well mean that I can't apply until next year, assuming that I can raise my science GPA. Taking the easier AP would def help this effort.

I think my best plan of action is to make a list of schools and record what each of their requirements are. I'll then evaluate whether I meet the requirements for enough schools without taking biochem. At this point I'm going to try my hardest to get into AP because getting a good grade is more important at this point than taking the seemingly more impressive class. Plus, is allots me me options.

I think I'm officially a pre-PA student.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Fracking Summer Jobs

I don't care for my summer job. I sit a grimy trailer and take tennis courts reservations, give kids mini golf tickets, and listen to every adult complain about the prices and general state of the facilities. It also pays really shitty. So I've started thinking about what I could do differently next summer.

No matter whether I get into a med school or not I'm going to have some meaningless summer job. And lately the hunger to go abroad has been eating away at me. This was probably sparked by the fact that at the last pool party I threw one of my guests brought her two friends from England. Ugh, Loooondon. Then it hit me - oww! - I could have a meaningless job in London for the summer!

I started to do some research and found a program called BUNAC that facilitates students getting Blue Cards and helping them find jobs and living accommodations. The thing that I find really scary is that most people don't find places to live and jobs until AFTER they get there. Participants are required to stay in some hostel for three days and it claims most people find jobs and places to live in that time period. But they do say participants find jobs, and the program seems to be very helpful with the whole progress by having a listings board at their building.

I don't know if I have the balls for this, but I'm going to attack the opportunity with the mindset that if plenty of other people have done this, then so can I. The thing I'm most worried about is meeting people. I want a job where I become friends with my coworkers and do stuff with them. I fear that I'll go to work and come home sitting alone everyday. I also would like to meet actual British people because as silly as that sounds none of my friends that came back from studying in London made friends with locals. So I need to find a job that college students also work. I assume that I won't be able to find a place to live with locales.

I feel like a talk about doing a lot of stuff, but don't actually do anything. But I mean I did go to Italy, and went on that trip to London by myself. I think I've proven to myself that I can handle traveling. I also talked about applying to Ireland for a while and I ended up doing that too. So I guess I am capable of doing this. So the current plan for summer of '08, either London or the Amazing Race. :-/

Monday, August 06, 2007

A Waste of 225 Dollars

I recently decided to bite the bullet and, on a partial whim, apply to Irish medical schools. I say partial because I had been considering it for a while, but was never completely decided as to whether I would or not. I then chose to just do it without fully thinking it out.

"Why," you may ask. Honestly, it's more or less why not. Going into college the number one thing I wanted to do was study abroad. You don't even understand. From my freshman year of high school I couldn't wait to study abroad in Australia. I can't fully describe how hurt I was to find out that I was never going to be able to because of CHEMISTRY AND ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. (no, I don't hold a little grudge... it's a huge one) I'm the master organizer and planner, and to see some of my friends go abroad without ever seeing how it would be effecting their graduating on time killed me.

I got over it eventually. I took my short trip to London and of course my recent trip to Italy. (which is unfortunately no more than a distant memory now) You know what this accomplished? Nothing more than make me even more bitter. Bitterness is something I really need get over. This is what the old woman at work keeps telling me everyday. She's right, I know this. But since when is bitterness ever logical?

So anyway, I filled the application and sent it in. It's a very simple process thanks to our friends at The Atlantic Bridge Program. But then today I decided to see what kind of information I could muster from SDN about the schools. Long story short, these schools are by no means easy to gain admission to. And no offense to our northern friends, but why the hell do so many more Canadians gain admission to these schools than Americans?

I'm not going to allow myself to think too much about these applications. This is mainly because I hear from these programs much later than the DO schools. (First notices come in late April/early March) So it's not like I'm banking much on them. I have a much better chance at gaining admission to a DO school than these Irish schools. It'll really be a last minute change of plan if I did get into them, which now that I think about it will probably cause a huge shock to my system. At first I was having slight panic attacks at the idea of going to school in another country, but I'm over that now - mainly because I probably won't be going anyway. I'm just going to have to continue getting my travels done in the more traditional vacationing style. I wonder how long it'll be before I have the time and financial stability to do that. Me thinks at least 20 years from now. Crap.

In other news my applications have finally been sent out to the schools from the application service. My letters of recommendation? Who the hell knows. I keep e-mailing my advisor/head of the committee but I never get any responses. I can't wait to hear what his reaction is when he hears about my applying to the Irish schools. He's probably going to think I'm crazy and wasting money. You know the more I think about it the more I realize I did just waste 225 dollars. Ugh, this is why I'm never impulsive. I always wind up regretting my impulsive decisions, hence the severe lack of them.




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