Whine Central

Okay so I was really enjoying running. My feet were doing great. My feet were always the reason I couldn't run. Shoes solved the problem.

Evidently if I run for more than 2 weeks then my knee give me the finger. I'm walking like a 90 year old man with horrible arthritis. I'm dependent on NSAIDs and I don't like it. Until my knees feel absolutely fine without NSAIDs I'm on a running hiatus. I have no idea what I'm going to start doing for aerobic exercise. Boooooo

Eff This

Ugh. +3.0lbs.

Someone just get me lipo.

Running

Eating right, and lifting weights hasn't really been doing much for my weight. For the record I'm not overweight. I'm just not in love with certain aspects about my body, and would just like to work on having a lower body fat percentage.

I have however had improvements with my shoulders and chest. So that's nice. I didn't increase my caloric intake once I started working out, but have incorporated much more protein into my diet, via whey protein. I attribute this to the gross muscle growth.

I have the diet in place - avoid sugar, increase protein. I've got the weight training - hit all muscles groups not just the showy ones. There was just one thing I've been missing - aerobics. I think that because I never do aerobics I never deplete the glycogen reserves in my liver and skeletal muscles. My diet has been enough to help with any repairs my body needs from the weight lifting, but not so much that I've been gaining fat. But what I need is for my body to need to go into the reserves (aka body fat). By running I help deplete those glycogen reserves and make my body go to the body fat for energy.

I have avoided running because I'm a bad pronator. I get horrible leg pains that have always deterred me from running. But I decided I need to change something about what I was doing if I want to see improvements. So I went out to a running store and get fitted for shoes that would help my pronating. The shoes are amazing. I actually enjoy running now. I follow the training method of Doctor Mama to the "t."

The only downside is that I get lots of random aches an pains. They generally subsdie after a day or two and don't return to the same spot. I unfortunately can't say this about the pain in my knees. Coincidentally I'm now learning orthopedics in class. I think I've got some patellafemoral syndrome pain going on. I'm hoping it's going to subside with time, but I've got PT exercises printed out just in case. I also think that for this condition it's okay to treat with NSAIDs. They sure do help, but I reserve them for pre-treating before a run. What I really need to do is starting icing after running.

Tomorrow is a weight in day. Let's hope I continue losing 2 weeks in a row!

Theory on Flamboyance

I recently met a couple of gay guys through friends. They were in short, "flamers." I'm pretty far from ever being called a flamer, and this obvious difference sometimes make me feel like an outcast in my own society.

I feel like you never see as many older flamers. Is being excessively flamboyant a stage? I'm starting to think it is. I started thinking about what the major differences between the 20 somethings and the 30+ somethings are.

One thing that stands out is that those that are 30+ are often more professional stabile. When I think back to the two guys I met there was a distinct commonality they shared. At one point they both made it clear that they were proud of where they were in life. They didn't like their current jobs, weren't meeting the goals and such.

Could the flamboyance be an act? People have always coupled homosexuality with flamboyance. But what if flamboyance was a defense mechanism to come off more confident than they actually felt. This could be a defense mechanism that is specific to homosexuals, as opposed to a standard trait specific to homosexuals.

Hell, this defense mechanism may not be specific to homos at all. I think straight men, women, lesbians probably all put this front up in one way or another. They like to go out and be the center of attention and pretend like nothing bothers them. They try to make it look like they are totally cool with where they are in life, who they are, etc. Maybe this pumped up faux-confidence just turns the volume up on the already present feminine/flamboyant qualities of homosexuals.

Of course I'm speaking in general terms. I'm sure there are some people that truly are that confident, and THAT GAY.

DADT

Over on the Physician Assistant Forum there was a discussion about Don't Ask Don't tell. There were some diverse opinions on the matter. You can refer to the link to see the spectrum. Some people were totally against gays in the military, some supported DADT, some thought gays should be able to serve openly. It was a fiery debate. I like to think that my response was one of the more cool, calm and collected:

I read the first 6 pages of this thread, so I feel I got a good sense of what's going on. Why not throw my $0.02. Where to start...

I'm gay. (That makes like 2 people total here, right?) I use to consider myself a Republican, but then realized current Republicans weren't actually Republican. So I have no real party affiliation or team bias. I've never served. I could give my religion, but don't see how that's relevant since we live in a country based off secularism. As a side note, being "secular" doesn't mean being godless or without morals. It means being respectful of all people regardless of their personal beliefs.

I understand where these disapproving people come from when they say, "I don't want gays checking out my junk." That's fair, you're uncomfortable, and women and men have always been split apart. You want some mutual respect. My response is that I don't understand why women and men need to be split apart. Aren't they all adults on a mission? IDK - I've never served so maybe I'm missing something here. When I'm seen as a patient, or seeing a patient I don't care about gender. But if it's really that big of a need to split men from women, then yes it should be done by sexual orientation also. Men have rights too.

Outside of this living condition situation I think it's ridiculous that gays shouldn't be able to serve openly in the military. What part of being gay is a hinderance to service? Oh, it makes some good old boys uncomfortable and they make up a large percentage of the military? I dare say that a number of people felt just as uncomfortable next to blacks when they started serving without segregation. People are different. Get over it. You would be shocked that you might actually like and respect these people.

As for whether homosexuality is a "lifestyle choice" or not - does it matter? If people don't approve or respect me because of my "choices" then so be it. It's not like I have to approve of you either. I'll still show you respect. I'm not touching the "sin" aspect because that is purely up for interpretation based off you religion.

Which leads me to this last ridiculous question about being gay and a Christian musician. Believe it or not, there are sects of Christianity that don't believe homosexuality is a sin. Crazy I know. They're the same groups that also believe in evolution, women's right and that slavery is out of fashion. What is this world coming to.

Addition:
To people who support gays via DADT: Why are heteros allowed to talk about their families and spouses and maybe daresay occasionally their sexual desires, while gays aren't allowed to express anything similarly? I listen to my straight friends talk all day about their raunchy desires. If I say "I want to see Prince of Persia simply for Jake Gyllenhall," then damn(!) let me get that off my chest! It's not like I'm humping your leg!

Previously, on LOST...

I don't think I can refer to myself as House anymore. I cried during every single Flashback in the LOST finale, and was then inconsolable for a half hour after the show ended. There are still specific scenes that could make me lose it at the mere thought.

I'm such a little bitch.

A Lesson in PR

Remember when I was all excited because AAPA was using a quote from me in the latest edition of PA Professional? Well they did use the quote, but didn't mention the name of my blog. I think that's a pretty dick move.

wompcity.

Grades

I am one very, very lucky boy.

I comfortably got an A in Pharmacology and A- in Evidence Based Medicine.

By the skin of my teeth I got an A- in Clinical Medicine (89.97). And when I didn't think I had any skin on my teeth left I get another A- in Clinical Applications (89.60!!!).

I got a B+ in Lab Medicine, but whatever. The A in Pharm evens it out to an A- average. I'm doing so so so much better in grad school than undergrad. w00t!

Yellowstone

Big Sky Country

I passed all my finals - most better than expected. Though I have to say I'm a little surprised at how many people have to remediate.

I'm off to Big Sky Country for the weekend . Catch you never!!

Finals Syndrome

For the past month or so I've gained about 8lbs. The funny thing is I've started regularly working out during this time and have maintained my (snack free) diet. I've especially been noticing the inner-tube around my gut getting larger. My reaction has been WTF?!?!!

I have also recently come down with a sore throat. I would generally attributed this to a post-nasal drip 2˚ to allergies. But I've been really good with my Zyrtec and have had barely a sniffle. Again, WTF?!?!?

I have my Medicine final tomorrow. I'm really worried. I failed the Infectious Disease test and didn't do that hot on OB/GYN. I dedicated a full day to each of those topics, which leaves me with one day for Cardio, Neph/Uro, Neuro and Endo. The saddest thing about this is that I don't even feel remotely comfortable with ID or OBGYN. I'm stressed.

So I'm sitting here studying Endo and it dawns on me. This past month I've had a test every week. 4 finals last week. A case study that I had to remediate TWICE, among numerous other assignments due at the end of the semester. I've been stressed. Stress leads to increase cortisol. Increased cortisol inhibits the immune system and stimulates lipogenesis, especially abdominally.

FUCK FINALS!!!!!!

The Amazing Race

I simply cannot get enough of this show. When when when am I going to be able to have the time to do the show and someone to do it wiiiiiiithhh??????? I've been watching this shows since the first season and I still haven't had the opportunity, but have printed the application numerous times.

Maybe the Army is right for me...

Clearly DADT isn't keeping anyone out of the Army.

Speaking of mentoring...

A former co-worker of mine called out of a the blue at 12AM. She claimed the reason she called was because she wanted to know if I would be facebook friends with her. I told her sure, but that you don't generally ask permission to friend request someone.

She then went from that topic to asking if I think it's okay for girls to call back guys. (Random...)

She then asked if I was still gay. (More random) She thought that since I'm around so many girls that I must have turned straight by now. Her cultural background traditionally doesn't quite understand (read as: approve of) homosexuality. But this is a common trend in her life. She often doesn't understand her own desires or behaviors, let alone others'. As introspective as she thinks she is, she generally comes up from the depths of her mind empty handed.

She then said that she knew what she was doing about medical school, but wasn't ready to tell me. She said this without me asking about medical school. I told her she didn't have to tell me, but that she obviously wanted to since she brought it up on her own. Evidently she's planning on going to Cuba and was very afraid of my reaction. I don't even know why she would care. I barely ever speak to her and haven't seen her in real life since working with her.

The conversation only got stranger from this point. In fact it was so strange that I don't think I can even summarize. It basically came down to me calling her out on not living in reality. She gets so caught up in the future, that she's not seeing the world around. I went a little Buddha on her ass. All she thinks about is the "dream life" that she wants. Now I'm all about having goals and such, but you can't become that blinded by them. I truly believe that she's going to be miserable going through this process and that the outcome isn't going to be what she suspects it to be.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm all that successful at Buddhism. But then I see people like this, and I realized how far along I really am. I try to help her "see the light" but it's difficult. How bodhicitta of me.

Mentals!

A couple of people in my class decided they wanted to organize a mentor group for the incoming PA class. This is so standard of our class. We're always so nice to each other, and helping each other, and doing all these Q+A sessions during the applicant. A group of effing saints. So unlike the current senior class. They want absolutely nothing to do with us, and nothing to do with each other. And if you thought the whining was bad in my class, it's nothing compared to the seniors. The faculty despises them, as do we. But I digress...

So I was asked to take part in this mentor project and I eagerly agreed! I love mentoring people. Back in the day I wanted to be a psychologist because I love talking people through life issues. I'm good at helping putting things into perspective.

This new development has really made me happy and gotten me out of my finals depression.

Class Etiquette: Grade bitching

Our class recently got back a SOAP note assignment. Many people failed. But many more weren't happy with their passing grades. It was an ugly scene. I think it was interesting that the people that didn't fail complained way more about their grade than those who didn't. I'm not surprised about this because the people that complain about grades are generally the more OCD, whiney, gunner students. It therefore makes sense that they were the ones that passed. But for the love of god people don't say things like:

I can't believe the grade I got. I practically copied what someone else did and they got 15 more points than me. With this grade I have a 97 average and I mean that's only 3 point away from not getting an A. There is no reason someone shouldn't get an A in Clinical Application. But you know I really don't care that much about grades.

OMG. STFU. The entire class doesn't want to hear you go on and on and on about your passing grade. Grades don't matter. Your grades especially don't matter to me. And don't tell me you don't care about grades when all you do is bitch about your grades and compare them with other students'.

I was one of the people who failed. I'm fairly indifferent about this. Grades really don't matter when it comes to getting a job. I definitely learned a lot from this assignment. I think it was a positive experience overall. I think things stick with you more when you get them wrong, and then realize why you're wrong. That's not to say that people should aim to get things wrong... But I wish some of my classmates would care more about the comments left on their paper and less about the number on the top.

Scratch that. I'm getting passive aggressively attacked about why I
wanted pa over np and how np is better.

Is it suppose to be a good thing that you have to do less CMEs? Damn
If I had known that then I definitely would have been an NP...

Sent from my iPhone

Today I did something I've never done before. I was so stressed out tonight I had a beer to calm down. Not a fan of this.

Missed Pneumothorax?

My physical went fine today. The NP was nice and we chatted a little. Anytime I mentioned anything about what I'm doing in school she totally ignored it. What eves.

I have self-diagnosed myself with Marfans Syndrome. I didn't tell her this, but she had all the necessary information to make a diagnosis. Tall and thin with long digits, mitral valve prolapse murmur, she also thought she heard a different murmur, borderline glaucoma when I was younger, scoliosis (she did this exam but didn't comment on it), nearsighted, low muscle tone.

So when I was asked about chest pain I told her that I sometimes get stabbing chest pain over my right chest with aerobic exercise. This has been going on since HS. I've never been to concerned about it because it would go away with rest and I never got dizzy. I told her that I actually think it may be a spontaneous pneumothorax. She looked at me totally skeptical. Then I said I'm probably just a crazy PA student that over thinks thing. But I actually do think I have this since I definitely have to some degree Marfans, am a tall white male and spontaneous pneumothorax is a common complication of both of those. And it if you've had one you're more likely to have them again. It's a pneumothorax we're not talking about, not a tail growing out of my arm. They happen.

I guess since I wasn't playing basketball when I got these chest pains then it doesn't count...

Scared of the NP

I have my annual physical coming up. I have to use my school's health center, because I use my school's insurance and they call the shots. My school has a large nursing program and the student health center I think is run entirely by NPs. I personally have no beef with NPs. This is unfortunately not the case on their end.

Almost every nurse I've met has given me shit about being a PA student. They all question why I would want to be a PA and "never work under your own license." Little do they know I will have my own medical license. I honestly don't even know why they care. They think that because I chose PA over RN/NP that I'm saying it's better than them. How about the fact that I was never a nurse to begin with, so why would I go through that extra training? Also, I don't want to be an RN. I never want to have to work as an RN. It's a thankless, miserable job. I respect RNs, but I definitely don't want to have to do what they do. Hell I did do what they do when I was a medical assistant. I literally had the same responsibilities as the actual nurse at my job, and it SUCKED.

So I know that I don't actually have to worry about how my physical exam is going to go. But I would really prefer if they didn't know I was a PA student. Unfortunately my pages of paper work that I need them to fill out is going to give it away.

womp womp.