Thursday, August 28, 2008

Fuck You

Okay, so this really isn't's fault, but it pissed me off nonetheless. I'm not a paying member yet, but I was highly considering it when I saw this one guy and decided I would accumulate a list of people I would try to contact and then decide if it was enough people to warrant paying $40 for a month. Wouldn't you know it that the one guy who I really had my eye on, and looked like an active user ended up taking down his account no more than ONE DAY after I made note of him. I see the same freaking profiles on that website for MONTHS, and it's this one that decides to take it down.

This is why I don't want to join, because I'm terrified that none of these people with profiles are actually paying members, so it'll all be for nothing.

Whatever. I'm sure there will be more people that join in the future that I may have interest in. I'm going to put the whole thing on hold until after my trip to California (one week!), since I don't see a point in paying for a month when I'm going to be away for 25% of that time.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Leviticus 20:13

"If a man lies with a man as with a women they shall both be put to death"

You've heard this all too common quote from the Bible proving that homosexuality is wrong.

Well, if I lie with men one way, and never lie with women that way, then I'm never lying with a man the way I do with a woman.


Score one for the homos.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Why You Don't Get Involved

I meant to write about this a while ago, but I think I started writing about something else instead.

I may have mentioned that after graduation I moved in with my grandparents, who live in the same town as my family. I did this mainly because they have a very nice, finished basement that they never use and plenty of extra bedrooms. Basically, their house has space for me which my family's does not. The strange thing that happens when you go to college - your bed room disappears, but a storage rooms comes out of thin air.

One thing that my grandfather has always complained about what how long it takes for the TV to change the channel. This might seem like a nit picky complaint, but in all honesty it is kind of absurd. It has nothing to do with getting a new cable box, it's just that Cablevision (tv provider) sucks.

Recently, Verizon began offering TV/Internet/Phone service in our neighborhood and claimed that things that use to bother you like channel changing speed were not a problem with them. They also made claims that their picture was better, and internet faster. Since my grandparents already had Verizon for their phone service I suggested to them that we switch everything to Verizon. My grandfather totally supported this idea, since it meant that changing channels would speed up. My grandmother seemed somewhat indifferent to the change, especially because she rarely watches TV with a cable box. The cable box is the reason that there is a delay. But I told her that overall it was cheaper to have TV/Internet/Phone with one company, so she bit.

Verizon comes and completes their 6 hours installation. I have no idea what they were doing for 6 hours, all I know is I got a significant portion of Freakonomics done. My grandparents were away in Florida at the time so I had plenty of time to adjust to the new service, so that I could address any problems that they would undoubtedly come across.

The first day came of my grandparents and Verizon TV's coexisiting. As expected, there was an issue. My grandmother had called me into the kitchen and goes, "Oh Guy, do you know where MSNBC is on the channels? I can't seem to find it on this TV listing you gave me." I must admit that my heart dropped, because my grandmother isn't blind or stupid, and if she said the channel wasn't on that list, it probably wasn't. I went over the list and sure enough it wasn't there. I even went online in a vain attempt to try to figure out how this channel could be missing. Evidently, the NY-metro area doesn't offer MSNBC on Verizon because of an exclusive contract they have with Cablevision. Who else you may ask has this exclusive contract? No one. MSNBC is the only channel. I to this day do not understand why this contract would ever have come about. It's especially odd since the rest of the NBC/Universal channels are offered.

I digress.

I tell her that it's not being offered, and that I don't think it's likely to be added anytime soon. She seems rather upset by this, which I find somewhat odd cause I didn't think she ever watched anything other than Fox News or CNN. I then say I will switch it back as soon as she asks me to and that it won't be any problem. She tells me to talk it over with my grandfather before making in decision, since he of course is the Master of the World.

Later that night I go up to his bedroom and explain the little issue we've come across. His response: "I don't give a shit if I ever see that channel again." He clearly won a bet with Chris Matthews, which Matthews didn't own up to.

Grandma enters stage left.
Grandma: Oh Grandpa, we're not going to get MSNBC.
Grandpa: Yeah, so. You didn't like anything on it.
Grandma: They would have some good programs on once and a while. I would be a nice change.
Grandpa: But you hated all of the people on it.
Guy exits stage left, fearing the possible divorce of his grandparents.

The ruling came in the next day. Verizon was staying. I felt kind of bad for my grandmother, but everyone in the family told me not to stress about it and that she would adjust.

Adjust my asshole. I heard about how much she missed MSNBC every day. Any time anything was ever mentioned about the TV, MSNBC would surely be interjected.

Hey Guy, could you show me how to use the remote. Boy isn't is strange how we don't get MSNBC.

Oh Guy, the channels seemed to have changed. MAYBE MSNBC WAS ADD!!

Oh Guy, while you're on the phone with Verizon ask about MSNBC.

Shoot me in the face.

But no, the issues weren't isolated to just that. There was an even more annoying, universal problem. Bare with me as a try to explain this. The remote can control both the Cable Box and the TV separately. If the remote was in the CABLE function, then pressing POWER would turn on/off the TV and CABLE BOX. If the remote was in the TV function, then the POWER button would only turn on/off the TV. But sometimes when POWER was pressed in the CABLE function, it would only turn the BOX on, and if you hit it again, then the TV would turn on and BOX turn off. To change the functioning of the remote you simply either press TV or CABLE. Someone who understand the fundamentals of how the remote works can easily fix this problem. Someone who doesn't is lost forever having the TV turn on and the BOX turn off. My grandparents being of the Greatest Generation That Ever Lived, fell into the latter of the two.

Multiple times a day I would have to turn the TV on for them. 2AM sometimes. Explaining that there was a difference between the TV control and the BOX control was nothing but an exercise in futility, which I practiced regularly. But in all fairness, the remotes really didn't work the way they were suppose to. Even when I came up with the ingenious plan to always leave the BOX on and only turn on/off the TV the remotes still fucked things up. Le sigh.

7AM. Only one thing gets me up that early nowadays - clinical rotations. I'm suppose to be at the hospital at 9AM, but not before my daily dose of TV woes. I enter the kitchen to the all to familiar, "Oh Guy, the TV doesn't seem to be working." *drops head and sighs* "But I think it's just cause of the storm last night." I wasn't even aware there was a storm the night before, especially one strong enough to mess up the TV. Generally, I would accept this excuse created for me, but I knew something was up.

I go to Fox News at channel 81, but the TV automatically goes to 82. Odd. But 82 isn't even what it's suppose to be. I go into the den and everything is working fine. Odder still. I check the internet to see if there was a change in channels, (Which still doesn't explain why the channels are different on the TVs) but it doesn't say anything. I call Verizon and explain the issue and they tell me that they did in fact change the channels that day. So why is the den still going by the old numbers? No answer. Ugh Verizon, ugh. Whatever, I get it reset.

I get back from class later that day and I'm called into the den by my grandfather. He basically tells me we're going to switch back to Cablevision because they just don't have their act together. I explain that means back to channeling changing delays and such. Doesn't matter we're switching, but with a twist. We're getting Cablevision phone service also.
The end.

No, not the end of the story. Just this part.