Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Cosmetic Doctor explained to a patient that to get rid of the lines on her forehead she would need botox and that it would cost $400. She was hesitant because of the cost and since it only lasts about 3 months. As she was leaving I told her to check back for specials in May because it could go on sale and in the past had gone for $150 and sometimes needed to be packaged with another procedure. She got really excited about this and even booked a microdermabrasion and laser hair removal at the front desk once she saw they were on sale.

When I walked back to the examination rooms Cosmetic Doctor said to me in a hushed voice, "Guy, don't tell patients to wait on cosmetic procedures to see if they go on sale. We want them to get them now." I gave a simple, "Okay." And I meant it. I wouldn't get involved with that in the future. Even though I have to say I was surprised since Cosmetic Doctor is always trying to give patients fair prices, something Boss Doctor doesn't.

During my lunch break Boss Doctor came in to speak to me. He told me not to talk to patients about past and future prices of cosmetic procedures and that we're trying to get them to do procedures day of. I told him I understood and that I wasn't going to talk pricing anymore. Now I'm not sure how Boss Doctor caught wind of this, but I feel Cosmetic Doctor must have said something to him. I did give him my said of the story though about how I told the patient AS THEY WERE LEAVING and that the patient became very excited and was definitely going to eat up these specials. He actually then seemed to agree with how I handled the situation.

I was shocked that Cosmetic Doctor did that to me. I had never heard him ever go to Boss Doctor about another employee. In the rooms he's ALWAYS asking me about the pricing of things and always seems shocked when I tell him about the prices we charge. I couldn't believe he was trying to get more out of the patient.

But what surprised me more: Boss Doctor later in the day APOLOGIZED TO ME for speaking to me in front of Senior PA. He said it was unprofessional and should have done it in private. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!! It wasn't even a big deal to me when he spoke to me about that. I come from Irish Catholic breeding. I can handle being told I did something wrong and accepting it. I can't remember a single time he ever apologized to someone for being unprofessional and he is OFTEN much more unprofessional. I'm really happy that Boss Doctor looks at me as someone that deserves respect. I started the job with Boss Doctor wanting to fire me badly, and now he's freely apologizing to me!!! This is insanity.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Dr. Pretty

I turned the corner today in the office and BAM! the gaydar went off before I could even process what the person looked like. He was hot and I of course had to listen in on his conversation with the aesthetician and nurse as he walked out. Sure enough he's an internist in the next town over, and doesn't pay for shit at our office. I definitely think I saw his gaydar go off when he looked at me. That's always fun, making the gaydar eyes at each other.

So I told the PAs about my suspicions, and sure enough the aesthetician independently said the same thing. Junior PA claimed she saw a ring on it, but neither I nor the aesthetician saw this. I still can't remember his name and just call him Dr. Pretty.

Junior PA was giving me a hard time about not pursuing my previous date any further. She thinks I'm too picky. I don't think it's fair though that I'm called picky just because I won't give people that aren't my type a chance. We have plenty of patients that I consider my type and would gladly give the time of day to. Dr. Pretty is on that list, regardless of him being 17 years my senior. That's a NSA hook up that I would jump on any day of the week.


Told the date that I wasn't feeling it. He e-mailed me back saying he wasn't feeling it either, but was always game for some No Strings Attached hooking up, since I'm so adorable. Yeah... That's not happening. I feel like a prude, and I'm sure that I am. But I'm not cool with going into a dating site looking for a relationship and coming out with hook up buddies. My desire for companionship greatly out weighs my need for the sex.

Monday, April 20, 2009


I'm going to be moving to a city with a very healthy populations of gays, but since I'm not into actors/musicians or hipsters I seem to be at a total loss.

Today's date was ehhh. I wasn't expecting a hipster. That coupled with him being 6 years my senior led to no chemistry. While at some vintage gaming store he became nostalgic for Classic Nintendo, Sega and systems out before I was born. I stayed with the N64. Man 6 years is kind of a long time.

I'm a bitch and will never find anyone.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Getting Old

You know how I know I'm getting old? When a patient comes in and when I look at their age and realize they're the same age as me, and I'm like I THOUGHT YOU WERE 5 YEARS OLDER!!!!!

And on that note I'm going on a date with someone turning 29 soon. That's a 6 year difference! I'm freaking out a little. But god damn it, he pursued me.

And yes, this is a confirmation that I've moved on to another dating website, even though I told myself I was waiting until I moved. But OkCupid.com is 100% free and is the most fun website ever. Even if you're not looking to date you can have fun on this website.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

I'm a Bad Person

It was a very light day at work today, so me, the 2 PAs ("Senior PA" and "Junior PA") and fellow medical assistant got to shoot the shit. Medical Assistant, "Z", is going to be applying to medical school this summer. She's currently a junior in college. Z could not be anymore different from me. She's idealistic, believes there are no evils in the world that cannot be overcome, thinks patients are pure souls who are totally innocent and are nothing but victims to their afflictions and, her greatest folly, truly believes you can have it all.

I regularly tell her about my friend, "L", who is in medical school and how miserable she is. L was very similar to Z in college. Absurdly driven, insanely intelligent, and pathetically innocent. My friend L, who is a Year 1 Medical Student, has been in a terrible depression lately. She has been coming to the realization that she might be sacrificing too much of her life for this dream job. She originally wanted to go into something like Ortho or Interventional Pediatric Cardiology. You know, things that require like 7 years of training after graduation. But now the only thing that gets her through the day is the idea of working part-time in pediatrics, simply because of the short residency and time it allows to be with her future family. I admire her for coming to this reasonable conclusion and being honest with herself about what she wants out of life. (I played a role in her therapy and decision making.)

I introduced Z to studentdoctor.net and she asked if they had a resource telling her what schools have a lot of men because she wants to meet guys in school. I laughed at her asking if she was planning to have romance in school. Z is not a slizzy. She looks for love. I tried telling her that while in school your social life is extremely hindered. She didn't believe me, but the truth began to show on her face when the PAs confirmed what I said.

I then proceeded to tell her that the same applies for residency. I pointed to laws that said residents couldn't work more than 80 hours a week, and that that law isn't followed. The only relationship she was going to have was going to be with colleagues, which itself has its own pitfalls. She still refused to believe me. I used our new doctor as an example. He's 35 years old. After medical school, residency and 2 fellowships he's finally working as an Attending Dermatologist, the same career Z wants. New Doc currently lives with his wife at his PARENTS HOUSE. The news that residents and fellows don't make much money was a bitter pill for Z. He's only just starting his life. This was the reason I decided I could never be a physician. I couldn't sacrifice that much of my life. I'm socially stunted enough as it is. But if she's cool with it then she should go for it. I don't mean to tell her DON'T BE A DOCTOR, PAs ARE BETTER. I was simply pointing out some of the things many premeds students don't know/ignore.

This was upsetting news to Z. I then asked her if she was cool with having someone else raise her children while she worked. This was not acceptable to her. She had to be at home raising her children. I asked who was going to work, and she said she wanted her husband (preferably a physician she meets in school) to be able to provide for the family. She also said she wouldn't mind having her own practice so she could make her own hours. I couldn't stop laughing from this one. She had no concept that when you're a business owner, your job comes home with you 24/7. We examined our boss's life and how his employees see him waaaaay more than his family does. His job doesn't end when the patients are gone.

Then I mentioned the stat about 50% of Americans divorcing from their spouses. This only got her shushing me. How dare I bring up such ugly statistics and suggest this could ever happen to her. She 100% believes that she is the exception to every negative statistic out there. This is the most painful thing about Z. I then told her that the divorce rate is most definitely higher among physicians and surgeons, pointing to Derm Surgeon in our office. He is the nicest man that ever existed, but he loves his job. His wife left him after a 2 week vacation to Hawaii.

I finally stopped doing this to Z when she pleaded for me to stop. I was making her question the foundation of her ultimate goal. She didn't like that she had no answers to any of these questions. I didn't feel bad. Z needs to think about all of these before starting medical school. This was nothing compared to what medical school interviews are like.

One of the PAs ended the conversation by pointing out something about Dr. Boss. He wears his medical school ring on his left ring finger. It's impossible to have it all. To be happy you need to know your priorities and live by them. Dr. Boss knows his. He's married to his job.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

In Addition to Criag's List

Never Derm. Never private practice. Never ever ever ever ever ever again.

More to follow including: ethics, CFIDS, penis, screwed up labs, surgical consults, stomach viruses.

Phone Tag

The other morning I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to voicemail. I'm not into people I don't know hearing me speak while I'm still in bed.

Checked the voicemail and it was the other school I interviewed at urgently telling me to call them back. If that wasn't a call telling me I was chosen off the wait list, then I don't know what is. I called them back 3 times during the hours they said they would be in the office. I left a message after the third call.

I never got a call back the next day, so I called again leaving another message. Still no word.

I can't say that I'm surprised by this. This is the same program that told me that I would find out whether I got in or not 3 weeks after the interview. I never heard from them again after the interview up until now - 13 weeks later.

Generally I would have been freaking out about this, but since I'm already into the school of my dreams I'm chilling. At this point I just want them to call me back so I can say "SCREW YOU AND YOUR CERTIFICATE OF PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT STUDIES!!! I'M GETTING A MASTER'S AT A SCHOOL THAT'S CAPABLE OF RETURNING PHONE CALLS!!!"

Whatever, the jokes on them. I applied to that program as a total last ditch effort when I was freaking out about not getting interviews. I never had any desire to go there, especially after their very, very weak interview. They didn't try in the slightest to sell their program to me. Truth be told, if I got in I don't know if I would have went cause I had major hesitations about getting a Certificate of PA Studies, since it's the bare minimum requirement to sit for the PANCE.

Wednesday, April 08, 2009


I'm a night person. There is no getting around it. Staying up until 3AM is normal for me, even when I have to be at work at 8AM the next day. On the flip side of this, I'm also someone that doesn't wake up easily. When given the opportunity I will easily sleep until 1-2PM. I know that this isn't normal, and that I need to become a normal person, especially with school on the horizon.

Today I had work at 1:30PM, but I was up and out of bed at 10AM. This is not standard for me. In fact, it was an outright miracle. Then after work today I was especially exhausted, so the unthinkable happened again and I was in bed at 10:15PM.

Lo and behold, I woke up at 1:30AM. This is even worse than going to be at 3AM, because I don't forsee being about to fall asleep for a very long time.

If anyone has any tips on how to start going to be earlier, please don't hog them. I freaking went to bed when I was tired, yet my body still rejects the idea of sleeping that early.

womp womp.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009


It was a good past week for Civil Rights.

Out of NOWHERE Iowa, freaking Iowa, legalized same sex marriage. And today, my second least favorite state in the union, Vermont, passed same-sex marriage without a court order.

As Fag Hag said, HOLLA!

The End, Before the Beginning

I only have 44 days of work left until I start my 5-Week-Pre-PA-School-Vacation. Not like I'm counting or anything.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to with 5 weeks of vacation. I sometimes debate whether that's too long of a break. Roommate is working straight through June and giving himself just 12 days off. Classes start July 13. But I really want to relaxxxx, and I want to be so desperately bored by the end of the vacation that I'll be ready to attack school.

So far I don't have much planned to do during my break. I want to go to Florida for a week at my grandparents condo, but I don't seem to have anyone to go with. During June I might be spending time finding an apartment, if I'm not able to get that taken care of in May. Then I'll probably spend a week getting the apartment ready to be lived in. But that still gives me 3 weeks of nothingness. That's okay though. I really do enjoy sitting and doing nothing. That might make me seem very lazy. But I see it as a gift, because there are so many people who just don't know how to sit and do nothing, even though they really need it.

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Never Again

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever doing anything on Craig's List like that again.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Not the Only One

Tonight I went to the Cheesecake Factory for the first time ever with two of my guy friends. Man, they have one of the largest menus I've ever seen. I hear they're going out of business, which is too bad because I had a really great meal. I don't think I've ever had such a pretty and equally delicious meal.

As we entered my friend commented on how this place was a huge first date clich and sure enough we had the theme of the night!

About halfway through our meal two young guys sat down next to us. Generally I always assume guys are straight because of the statistics. But I heard just a hint of the stereotypical gay voice, so I listened in. Sure enough they were on a first date! Horrah! An amazing opportunity to see what first dates are like for other gay guys.

The topics touched on were family, religion, tv, friends, ghosts. One guy talked more than the other, and one seemed way more into the date than the other. Overall a fairly good reenactment of my latest date. So it was somewhat comforting that I was basically doing what other guys are doing on their first dates. Unfortunately, the guy talking too much reminded me a little too much of myself. AKA the driving force of the conversation and we all know how well that turned out. Is that a rule? That the if one guys is talking too much then it's official that he's way more into the other guy, and it's not going to work out.

Anyway, I was way into the guy who wasn't feeling the other guy. I really wanted to make some kind of move, which is totally out of the norm for me. I think it was because this guy was TOTALLY not the stereotype, and was TOTALLY cute. I don't think I would have ever hit on that guy since my gaydar probably isn't that strong. I didn't have the balls to blow up the other guys spot though. So I left Cheesecake Factory, cheesecake in hand, wondering how the hell I was ever going to meet someone. Womp Womp. I then put a posting on Craigslist's Missed Connections for the .00001% change that guy will read it and get in contact with me.

I don't plan on making a real solid effort at dating until I move, because I think I've exhausted all the resources in my current situation and I know there are many more options in the neighborhood I'm moving into. We'll see how that goes.