Monday, November 15, 2010

Do people actually want relationships?

It seems that at my age (24) everyone is looking for a relationship. Those who are not in them seem particularly miserable about it. But then I see my peers who are in relationships, and I don't find myself filled with envy. To be honest, I know very few couples that make me wish I had what they have.

I've realized that the "relationship" people want they've created in their minds. It's as if they've been incepted with this concept that they've never seen in real life. I think an english major friend of mine once told me that the idea of "relationships of love" didn't show up until the victorian era or something. I don't know whether that's true or not, but I feel this is where people base their desire for another.

I do realize that there is a biological component to this. There is the innate desire to reproduce and stay mated long enough to rear healthy offspring. I'm big into evolutionary psychology, but I've also learned that our natural instincts are full of shit. Cheating on each other is a natural instinct. It profits you by having more offspring. Look at the animal kingdom. Everything they do is instinctive. This is what defines humans from animals. Therefore people, quit listening to your instincts.

I come from all of this happy. I realize that seems odd. But realizing that a relationship isn't actually going to make you happy is liberating. I'm not saying I'm opposed to them. I'm saying that my happiness won't be defined by one. I'm happy now without a relationship, so why can't I be forever?

I wrote this for other people to benefit from. I want people to be happy. Stop thinking that you need something just because you feel you do. Look around you. People that have what you want are often not nearly as happy as you think you would be.

The grass is always greener on the other side, but I hate mowing.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey there! I have been creepily stalking your blog for a long time now, so I suppose I should finally speak up. Thank you so much for sharing all of your experiences, they really have been invaluable. Now that I'm finally accepted into a PA program I'll be chronicling my own journey, and I've linked your blog as another resource for potential students.

If you want your link removed for any reason, please let me know! Otherwise, I look forward to reading more of your posts in the future. :)

As for the relationship issue... that is certainly a major concern of mine. Only time will tell if my own relationship survives the next 2 years, but I hope I can find that happy balance between school and life.