Okay, Now Fuck Myself.

2 weeks ago, pulled over for talking on a cell phone while driving. Love how they catch me the one time I don't put it on speaker phone.

I'm told be a very reliable source that I should: 1. Buy a headset before the court date. 2. At the hearing I'll be asked if I owned a headset before the ticket. 3. I should respond with a certain answers. And that this will probably end up getting me off.

It seemed too easy, but I was told that it's a "community education" thing, and they're really just trying to get people to buy headsets.

Last night, I drive to Best Buy to get said headset for the "hearing" that was today. While doing that I get into my first car accident that was entirely my fault. Nothing major - I just rear ended a guy at a stop sign cause I thought he was pulling into traffic, and evidently wasn't. I had been to preoccupied looking to see if traffic was clear to move into. I'm so stupid.

Thank God the people were okay, and the only damage done was his car losing a reflector. We got a police report done, and I gave the other driver my name and number and told him to call me in case he notices more damage or anything when it's light outside. Funny enough, the only thing I had to write my number on was an auto repair business car. I insisted to him that my family did not own said company. I got a laugh out of him.

Back to the first car incident.

I go to court this morning, and walk to the "plea counter" after being the only person to set off the metal detector in a line of very, very sketchy individuals. The smells were interesting to say the least.

I pled "not guilty" and made myself look like a moron by asking the woman what the point was of checking "yes" when asked if I wanted a deposition. I'm still not entirely sure why I would check "no" if I pled "not guilty." I'm sure that will come back to bite me in the ass.

The woman then takes my ticket, and in a very authoritative manner stamps it and says without looking at me, "Your court date will be in 3-6 months. You'll receive something in the mail."

WHAT?!?!?!?!? I'm probably not even going to be living hear in 3 months!!!!! I leave the "court room" (read as: ticket counter) totally befuddled, wondering what the hell just happened. I even went back after getting in the elevator to confirm with a court officer that I indeed had to come back again in the distant future. Unfortunately, I was right.

I then get home and decided that this is the right time to see if I would have gotten any points on my license for this offense. The answer is no. I would pay a maximum fine of $100 with a $50 surcharge. When it is all said and done, I will probably end up changing my plea to "guilty" and paying the fine.

So lets recap what I've accomplished. I got into a car accident, which God knows how much it'll cost me. Bought a crappy headset that I'll never use (because I prefer using speakerphone) that cost me $21. Woke up at 6:30AM, when I didn't have to be up until 9AM. And will still probably pay the $150 traffic ticket.

You know what this tells me? I should have been pre-law. Oh... and look forward, if you plan on driving forward.

Fuck Science

I went into a legit depression today in the lab. That's not something that happens too often.

I was peeling and picking away at the facie surrounding my cats muscles and I just could not make anything out. I kept picking, and realized I didn't even know what to look for. I had no idea what I should be cutting away, no idea how to continue studying in general. I look at this dead animal and see nothing distinctive. The only thing that sticks out in my mind is "WTF AM I DOING HERE?!?!?"

I don't have the "it" factor required to be a science major. What that "it" factor is, I don't know. But when I look at the people who do have it, I sometimes hope I'll never have it. I see the people working in the field that i think I want to go into and I hope that I will never turn out like them. Why wouldn't I turn out like them? As I've come to realize I'm not all that different from other people. There is no reason to think that I will turn out differently.

I am coming out of college with some very strong interests though. Animal Behavior, Evolutionary Pscyh., Ethics. They're topics I enjoy reading about, enjoy talking about, things that I REALLY understand. They're things that I enjoy teaching others about, and love getting other people interested. I think this is something that have a knack for, have that "it" factor.

Who knows, maybe I can turn that into a career somehow.

Completing the Metamorphosis

I've come to love watching my daily Bravo! reality show at 10PM and then moving over to Lifetime for an hour of Will and Grace, Fraiser and Golden Girls.


Friend: That's really gay.


Either that, or I've completed my change into a 40 years old women. That would explain the eating peanut butter with chocolate chips straight from the jar.

ER Repeats

Why is it that every time I watch ER on TNT I see the same 3 episodes.

1. Dr. Green dies.

2. Small pox.

3. Episode after small pox.


I literally have probably seen each of these episodes 4 times. I need to stop having such impeccable coincidental timing.

How to Lose Your Eye Sight

This week's adventures brought us to the medical center's radiology department. I thought I would have a chance at meeting some happy doctors here, since radiology is one of the "lifestyle" fields. (ROAD - radiology/radiation oncology, ophthalmology, anesthesiology, dermatology) First I joined one of the physicians doing some films readings. Lots of ultra-sounds and CTs. I couldn't tell the difference between a fetus, a kidney, or a gall bladder on the ultra sounds. The physician was very happy when I responded to the question "what do you see here," with, "Absolutely nothing." He went on a little rant about how so many people are full of bullshit nowadays, and it's nice to hear someone actually say the truth, and doctors forget how many people are working alongside with them, and they become really self-centered and ego-centric. I've realized that physicians like to rant, and hit many topics at the same time. Then he started to go through some CT scans. I would say that he was scrolling in and out of slides at a rate of about 20 slides/second. It kind of made my head hurt. He commented that when most people watch him read CT scans they fall out of their chair. Good thing I was standing. He also spoke crazy, crazy fast into his recorder, and cursed, a crazy, crazy amount. I mean I'm definitely not shy about coloring my language. But this was just down right excessive.

Then I was following one of the PAs around as he preformed some tests. I got to see a CT-guided biopsy and an ultra-sound guided biopsy. Both of which were infinitely cooler than reading films.

Back in the reading room I started asking each of the PAs how long they had been in their profession and what other specialties they had been in. I was surprised that they had all been in other fields, since I had previously heard that most PAs stayed in one field because the learning curve was too great to want to change fields. Evidently that's not the case. And that makes me happy.

At the end of the day I told one of the PAs that I think I was leaning towards PA over medical school. He gave out cheer in jubilation saying that I was joining "the team." This was something that no physician has ever done in my life. The PA I shadowed was legitimately happy with his job and he's been working in the profession for over 20 years. This was very reassuring. After the PA had his moment a physician walk in from around a corner and said something along the lines of, "Yeah, that's definitely the smarter move from a totally economical point of view." I was kind of surprised about this because this wasn't something that I had heard from physicians before. He didn't actually seem to hate his job, and even he was telling me to become a PA.

Score another one for PA school.