Recap: CNN/You Tube Republican Debate

After watching the CNN/You Tube debate I'm now actually a Giuliani fan, instead of just picking him cause I agree with him the most. Also I realize that I despise Romney. I called him out on being the Kerry of the Republican Party. He didn't answer any of the questions definitively, which leads me to believe that he only says what people like to hear. I was also surprised that I didn't dislike Huckabee as much as I thought I would, but that's because he's a charming guy and didn't take a stance on anything either. I thought McCain did a good job of making/defending his points, but at the same time I don't think he ever talked about non-Iraq topics. Everything always seemed to come back to some war with him. Ron Paul I thought came off as a crazy, and he seems to think that everything in the world works out for the best when you have no laws, taxes, regulations or pose any external influence on anyone. Some of that I like in theory, but he's not practical. Thompson I didn't feel made a case for himself. He was just there, speaking occasionally, but I got no sense of who he was.

PS - Anderson Cooper is the man, and I thought he did a great job moderating, and calling candidates out when they weren't answering the questions.

I'm Crazy

I'm reconsidering getting some lame job after school, and now looking into MPH - Epidemiology.

I like the city selection that the schools are in (Boston, Seattle, NYC, Atlanta, Minnesota); Leaves open the opportunity to reapply (with something added to my application); I could get a job (CDC seems to have lots of openings).

The applications never end.

The effect of an 80 on a VP test

I'm accepting the fact that I'm a B student, and an overall only mediocre science student on the basis of grades. Where does this leave me?

I feel like there is something else that I'm suppose to do, simply because there must be something I excel at. I know I'm brighter than most (ha, right. keeping telling yourself that), but science is obviously not something that I'm exceptional at, relative to the other students.

Am I ignoring other possibilities because of the pressure I feel from the success of my friends?

Use Your Words

As I expected last night I had one of my crazy anxiety-induced dreams, where I have a hard time separating dream world from reality. I went to bed freaking out, worrying about how I was going to get certified in venipuncture. I then spent my night dreaming that I didn't know how to do it, couldn't learn to do it, had a hard time finding a job with the skill at hand. It was a bad night's sleep. I wish I were so crazy.

My final Add/Drop period started today. I was unsure whether I was going to be adding any classes because my advisor never told me whether First Aid/CPR was going to count towards my major electives. I finally had enough of his lack of communication and called him today asking. Evidently it was no problem and the chair of the department and told the registrar to allow it. Couldn't someone have notified me that the problem had be rectified? Whateves.

Spring 2008 - The End
Genetics w/ Lab
Comparative Anatomy w/ Lab
Animal Behavior
First Aid/CPR
Internship - Hospital Rotations
Karate

I'm Useless

I'm qualified for NOTHING.

My backup plan for next year when I reapply is to get a job as a medical assistant somewhere. Criagslist has a plethora of listings, but they almost all require experience in venipuncture, something I will not have learned in school. How do I go about it.?I found a school that has a 90 hour certification program. Does that cut it?

MO: Not living at home next year.

Rockstar Awesome

Some people claim to get signs from the universe that it's time to do something. Others think you're just more selectively sensitive to your environment to things that are on your mind. Regardless, this played after Battlestar Galactica: Razor made me happy. (something that has been happening more often)

Patting Myself on the Back

I'm going to talk about how great I think I am, because I'm sick of only thinking about how terrible I am at school.

I've recently realized that I'm a fairly well adapted person. I'm pretty good at keeping things in perspective and staying objective. I'm good at analyzing myself and calling myself out on certain things. This came up because I was counseling one of my friends - something I seem to do a lot. People come to me to talk, and I'm there to talk. I like talking to people and helping them gain some objective perspective on the issues in their lives. Some people are a little more resistant to acknowledging reality than others, but I normally come out making my point.

Another thing that seems to help is that I come off very non-judgmental, which isn't to say that deep down I am. I normally don't judge people by their interest or activities, or at least I don't make a moral judgment... I think this is why I get away with saying whatever comes to mind. People know that I say it not in a judging way. I'm just telling it like it is.

I often keep thinking that I should be going into psychology. Psychology was the major I was debating going into college, but it seemed to theoretical for me. I liked the harder science of biology. But when I look at what I'm naturally better at, it's always psych. I very easily relate myself to other people and help them interpret their thoughts or feelings. I'm very good at helping people communicate to themselves what they're feeling, or why they are. This isn't meant to make it sound like I tell them what they're feeling. I help them collect their thoughts and see what's really going on. I'm extremely introspective, but with an extrospective view point. Does that even make sense? I think I mean I'm good at organizing my (and others') thoughts and looking at them from an outside point of reference. Obviously, this doesn't apply to my written skills. To bad I don't think I have the interest to sit through a ton of psychology classes.

On a totally different note - I kind of wish I was more of a bitch when it came to money. I don't ask people for money if I know they're going to complain about it. I never have a problem tipping more than my fair share, and I in general don't get that worked up over the possession of my capital. Some people may say that I have no appreciation for money and take it for granted, since I was fortunate enough to never have to worry about it. But I honestly think that I just don't allow money to become that important to me. A career in medicine was never about the money for me. I just wanted to do something with my time that I didn't hate.

It's funny when my brother and I compare career goals. He's all about going into business and making money by schmoozing with people. I, on the other hand, refuse to schmooze. I abhor it. He would be disappointed with himself if he was making less than 500k by the time he's in his 30's. I on the other hand think I would be perfectly comfortable with making just around 80-100k. I might be fooling myself when I make this comment though, since I wasn't raised with this kind of total income. To be quite honest I have no idea how much money my family makes. We don't buy flashy cars, TVs or vacations, but at the same time I don't hear anything about financial woes. That's all I'm looking for. Enough to have a home with the basic amenities, and the occasional budget vacation. Expensive cars and meals are nice, but to be quite honest driving my car isn't something I really look to for enjoyment and my self-esteem doesn't need to be boasted by a status symbol car. Tons of money just seems to bring problems than it's worth.

???

I wish I had something new and exciting to post about, but I do not.

How about a Question and Answer session? Not like there are really all that many of you that read this, but whateves.

Ha ha. Watch this not get any responses.

Disclaimer: don't bother asking any identifying questions


Oh, and as for the new banner: Every political compass test I've ever taken has without fail said I was an absolute moderate. I'm against socialized health care, for civil unions, against social security, for gun laws, against tax increases, for reformed immigration laws, against current welfare system, for school vouchers, indifferent to Iraq. In the end I think I'm always just slightly more conservative.

This makes it particularly hard to pick a person whose views I agree with, but after thorough consideration I've come to support Rudy. I was actually very surprised when I came to the conclusion, but our views align the best.

Want to know where I stand on certain issues? ASK AWAY!

Poor and Fat

Lately, I never seem to be able to allow myself the time to go to the gym or food shopping. WTF

Oh wait, I just went to Boston for 48 hours last weekend. I guess the above statement is a bit of an exaggeration.

Freaking Macy's Family....

Today blows...

Last night I was up until 4AM editing my research paper on embryonic stem cell research ethics. I then proceeded to NOT set my alarm resulting in me NOT waking up for the class is was due for. I then run over to campus to give my paper to the professor, but like every professor when you need them he wasn't there. So I slipped it under his door and also e-mailed it to him. I then get home and find out that friend A is going to be much later arriving to my school than I thought. This causes friend B to be pissed that me for having to wait around even longer to go to Boston to visit friend C. While waiting for friend A I decide to go check my mail because I'm expecting the Popcorn Facotry gift from my grandma (love you gma!). It was there alright, right next to a rejection letter. Oh well, I'm not really expecting to get in anywhere anyway. Plus that school was my least favorite non-option.

With my luck I'm going to hit massive traffic on the way to Boston and my friends are going to banish me from their presence should I decided to tell them my latest news.

TTYL

Wish I Had a Drinking Habit

My mother is driving me to drink.

I don't even have enough time to elaborate. Freaking science...

Sidenote

I'm gay. Finally told people. Just thought I would share.

I'm still neurotic.

Limbo

I was put on the alternatives list. I don't even know what I'm suppose to do now. It says I can be accepted up until August 2008. Do they even take people off the list before the deadline dates? Should I be calling them regularly to see what my chances are looking like? I don't know what to do.

Tomorrow I have to call them and tell them that I want to be kept on the waiting list. I'm also going to tell them that they're my number one choice and that they would be receiving a deposit check as soon as I was accepted.

Ugh, I'm basically just going to put this out of my mind and hope and wait for some word from the other schools I applied to. Unfortunately though, my friend who sent in her application a couple of weeks after we has already gotten interview requests from schools I also applied to. This leaves me to believe that I will not be not be receiving any calls from them since I'm sure they're not going to run dry of good applicants to interview any time soon.

New Objective: Think up back up plan.

So Stupid

So evidently there are vaccines out for bacterial meningitis? This is news to me. I was still under the impression that vaccines were only for viruses.

<--- Stupid.

PS - still no word from the school. I'm slowly (read as: quickly) losing my mind.

Errrrrrrr

The school said that we should have our letters of rejection/acceptance by the end of the week. I haven't received one and according to SDN nor has anyone else. Unfortunately Monday is a holiday. Gonna have to stress out and dream about opening mail for the next 3 nights.

Lymphedema is the gross...

I just ate two whitecastle burgers and some curly fries. I then watched some of The Heaviest Man in the World on TLC.

Jesus Christ.
Excuse me while I throw up in the bathroom.

Buuuuurn

My super smart, perfect GPA, gunner student friend got a couple of interview requests. One of them happens to be for my initial first choice school, which is extremely close to my home town. She handed in her applications much later than I did. I haven't heard a word from the school. They only request secondaries from people they're going to interview. I guess this means I have one less secondary to write...

I'm a little discouraged, but only because this puts so much more pressure on me getting into the other school. Well, there is nothing I can do about it now. Just have to wait.

Oh, PS - I find out in less than two weeks

Again, High Hopes

I think the interview went well. I had been specifically applying to a Problem-Based Learning (PBL) pathway, and the majority of the questions seemed to make sure that you were well suited for it. The questions, as expected, were centralized around communication skills, ability to lead a group and handle stress. I'm pretty confident my answers made me come off as a good fit for such a program.

The only question they really grilled me on was "why osteopathic medicine?" I told them how initially I was attracted to it because I agreed with their treating philosophy, but now it has more to do with the emphasis on primary care and closer and more personalized relationships I've seen osteopathic physicians have with their patients as opposed to the allopathic physicians. The "bad cop" then continued to say but why osteopathic medicine? It sounded like he wanted me to start hating on allopathic physicians, but I wouldn't go down that road. I simply stuck with what I said. I really don't know what else there is to say.

They asked how I like to communicate with people and give an example. I told them that when speaking with people I always like to actively engage them. When with new people I ask lots of questions and try to relate myself to them because I think it brings us to a quick level of comfort. I then supported this with a story of how I turned the quietest person I ever met into quite the talker, at least when around me. And that I'm able to reach a lever of conversation I haven't seen him have with many other people that he's known for as long. On top of this, we also have very few similar interests. I then also related my skills to patient contact. I told them how I find patients to feel very comfortable around me and that I'm often able to get plenty of information out of them without them possibly even realizing.

When it came to my leadership skills I told them that I don't see the job of a team leader to tell the group what to do. I see it as a job to coordinate an effort. I also went on to say how I think it's important to, again, engage everyone by asking them their opinion of how to go about solving a problem and then come to an agreement on the best option. I stressed the importance of having a diverse pool of perspectives. I was also asked how I would handle a disagreement within a group. I said you can't just throw out someone's ideas just because you don't agree with them. You have to go through the reasoning behind their conclusion even if it means going through it in excruciating detail. They kind of grilled me a little on this one too asking what do you do if the person will absolutely not compromise. I mean what are you suppose to do in that case? I said I generally end up just going along with the other person's plan until I see it going just slightly off course and am then quick to point out the flaws manifesting into reality.

After the interview we sat through a two hour PBL session. This. Was. Awesome. The intensity of everyone trying to figure out what was going on in the case was simply overwhelming. There were 8 people in the group, plus one facilitator and easily 40+ 5'' thick textbooks covering the desk. I was also completely blown away by the knowledge that these early OMS II's had. The whole time I felt like I was listening to a foreign language. I mean I'm by no means medically illiterate, but this was like me listening to spanish and getting excited when I recognize a phrase. And the jumping between subjects every second was awesome. Learning each subject in relation to the others makes so much more sense to me. One second they're going through lab results, then they're flipping through their histology atlas to identify a lung tissue sample, then they're talking about the physiology of the lungs and what could be leading to this disorder, which then brings them to their microbiology and pathology text books to identify the causative agent. Then when they realize it's a common bacteria they look for what gave this opportunistic organism the upper hand. So they looked at other symptoms that probably weren't so much caused by the disease, as much as signs of lifestyle choices which gives an idea of what the patient is at a greater risk of getting. I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it. I thought sitting through the class was going to be the worse part, but it was easily the best.

Sorry Dr. Panda, but you're dead wrong about PBL.

Basically I now have this school as my number one choice, (and funny enough my only possible current choice!) even though I won't have access to the rotation sites I want, but that's fine. My mom and friend both said I need to write a thank you e-mail to the dean of admissions or someone like that. I'm normally completely against this cause I despise all forms of ass kissing, but I think I should really get the point across that PBL is something I'm committed to and that after that meeting it unexpectedly went to the top of my list.

Thoughts anyone?

Pulling Out All the Tricks

This will probably be the last time that I post before my interview on Monday. After reading the summaries of the interviews at this school on studentdoctor.net I'm feeling much more relaxed. Everyone goes on and on about how they try so hard to make you feel comfortable, and that they don't have any tricky questions. Granted, these summaries are all from previous years, but from what I see the questions seem to stay the same year to year. The questions they ask seem to be centered around leadership and communication skills.

One thing I'm not looking forward to: it's 90˚F and hummmmmid at the school. Here at my current school it's just finally started to become crisp and cool. Fall is probably my favorite season. Where the medschool is I don't think it ever goes below 75˚F. Whatever, for 2 years I can totally deal. (The last two years I think can be spent rotating mostly where ever you please)


Well that's all I really have to say. Keep your fingers crossed!!! (Where the hell did that tradition come from?)