I'm giving up. I just got back an Organic Chem test and I was left disappointed again. I studied for days like usual: rewriting each chapter's notes, then re-doing the HW and quizzes and finishing up with taking the practice test. I was scared going into the test, but felt pretty good after leaving it. But I told myself I wasn't going to get overly confident and that I probably got a 74 like usual.
The professor started class by saying how impressed she was with the results and that an "absurd" number of people got 90+% on the test. I tried really hard not to get my hopes up. This happens every time she hands tests back; she tells us how so many people got good grades. She then put the class distribution up and 14/30 PEOPLE GOT ABOVE A 90%! That was insanity. Okay, I started feeling good and even told myself to stop feeling good because I'm not going to be one of those people. Sure the odds were against me that I was one of the 3 or 4 people to get around a 75, but that's just what I do.
She hands me my test back and I see the 74% on it. I give the fuck up. I don't know what I have to do to start getting good grades. And the thing that kills me is how I see all these people who party all the time and do sooo many drugs getting 104!!!!!!!! I really don't know what these people are doing to get good grades that I'm not. Are they just straight up smarter than I am? I mean they obviously are but am I just incapable of doing well or am I just doing this whole thing wrong??? This makes my test grades 78, 75.5 and 74. At least I'm consistent...
Am I seriously applying to medschool this summer? I must have something the matter with me. My prereq grades are going to be:
General Bio 1+2: B-/B+
General Chem 1+2: C/B
Organic Chem: C+/C+
Physics 1+2: C+/C+
That's just laughable. I guess I won't be applying this summer unless I get some crazy MCAT score. (Which by the way is on May 16th) Hopefully my heavy bio-class senior year will pull my GPA up and I'll have a reasonable shot next summer. Although, judging by my B in Micro and B- in Immunology they probably won't help that much.
My friend who's the perfect premedical student is taking the MCATs today. When I say perfect I mean she has straight A's in all of her science classes. I don't know how she does it. And she has a better social life that me too. She hasn't been doing as well on the practice MCATs as she would like to though. She seems to be a consistent 23. I haven't taken a practice test in a while but I normally do better than that. So what does this mean about our class grades?
Maybe I'll just shadow physicians the rest of my life. And in my head I can be the one ordering test and prescribing treatment. I guess that's almost as good. Any takers?
1 comment:
Never, never, never give up!
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