I'm a Bad Person

It was a very light day at work today, so me, the 2 PAs ("Senior PA" and "Junior PA") and fellow medical assistant got to shoot the shit. Medical Assistant, "Z", is going to be applying to medical school this summer. She's currently a junior in college. Z could not be anymore different from me. She's idealistic, believes there are no evils in the world that cannot be overcome, thinks patients are pure souls who are totally innocent and are nothing but victims to their afflictions and, her greatest folly, truly believes you can have it all.

I regularly tell her about my friend, "L", who is in medical school and how miserable she is. L was very similar to Z in college. Absurdly driven, insanely intelligent, and pathetically innocent. My friend L, who is a Year 1 Medical Student, has been in a terrible depression lately. She has been coming to the realization that she might be sacrificing too much of her life for this dream job. She originally wanted to go into something like Ortho or Interventional Pediatric Cardiology. You know, things that require like 7 years of training after graduation. But now the only thing that gets her through the day is the idea of working part-time in pediatrics, simply because of the short residency and time it allows to be with her future family. I admire her for coming to this reasonable conclusion and being honest with herself about what she wants out of life. (I played a role in her therapy and decision making.)

I introduced Z to studentdoctor.net and she asked if they had a resource telling her what schools have a lot of men because she wants to meet guys in school. I laughed at her asking if she was planning to have romance in school. Z is not a slizzy. She looks for love. I tried telling her that while in school your social life is extremely hindered. She didn't believe me, but the truth began to show on her face when the PAs confirmed what I said.

I then proceeded to tell her that the same applies for residency. I pointed to laws that said residents couldn't work more than 80 hours a week, and that that law isn't followed. The only relationship she was going to have was going to be with colleagues, which itself has its own pitfalls. She still refused to believe me. I used our new doctor as an example. He's 35 years old. After medical school, residency and 2 fellowships he's finally working as an Attending Dermatologist, the same career Z wants. New Doc currently lives with his wife at his PARENTS HOUSE. The news that residents and fellows don't make much money was a bitter pill for Z. He's only just starting his life. This was the reason I decided I could never be a physician. I couldn't sacrifice that much of my life. I'm socially stunted enough as it is. But if she's cool with it then she should go for it. I don't mean to tell her DON'T BE A DOCTOR, PAs ARE BETTER. I was simply pointing out some of the things many premeds students don't know/ignore.

This was upsetting news to Z. I then asked her if she was cool with having someone else raise her children while she worked. This was not acceptable to her. She had to be at home raising her children. I asked who was going to work, and she said she wanted her husband (preferably a physician she meets in school) to be able to provide for the family. She also said she wouldn't mind having her own practice so she could make her own hours. I couldn't stop laughing from this one. She had no concept that when you're a business owner, your job comes home with you 24/7. We examined our boss's life and how his employees see him waaaaay more than his family does. His job doesn't end when the patients are gone.

Then I mentioned the stat about 50% of Americans divorcing from their spouses. This only got her shushing me. How dare I bring up such ugly statistics and suggest this could ever happen to her. She 100% believes that she is the exception to every negative statistic out there. This is the most painful thing about Z. I then told her that the divorce rate is most definitely higher among physicians and surgeons, pointing to Derm Surgeon in our office. He is the nicest man that ever existed, but he loves his job. His wife left him after a 2 week vacation to Hawaii.

I finally stopped doing this to Z when she pleaded for me to stop. I was making her question the foundation of her ultimate goal. She didn't like that she had no answers to any of these questions. I didn't feel bad. Z needs to think about all of these before starting medical school. This was nothing compared to what medical school interviews are like.

One of the PAs ended the conversation by pointing out something about Dr. Boss. He wears his medical school ring on his left ring finger. It's impossible to have it all. To be happy you need to know your priorities and live by them. Dr. Boss knows his. He's married to his job.