Life Experiences

Today my friend (female) made me get my eye brows waxed after a year of complaining about them. They don't look that much different, just slightly thinner. But man she had to use a lot of strips. I must say though, I took it like a champ and didn't move a muscle. The nice Asian lady was impressed. I think I'm suppose to go again before going back to school to get them shaped or something...

Let's Help Me Out Again

I have the last two questions of my Premedical Committee Autobiography for everyone to look at.

A career in the medical profession requires a commitment to learning throughout one's career. Please comment, in-depth, on an academic experience that has fostered this commitment in you.

I realized early on in my undergraduate career that my interest for medicine could and did go above and beyond what was required in my classes. In my Human Biology class the basics of the organ systems were presented to us and also common disorders associated with them. Since this was a non-major course the professor would spare the other students from over-burdening them with the more in depth processes of the body. But what I was presented with in class would often leave me with many questions. I would often either ask plenty of follow-up questions in class, or more often I would research these topics independently. This interest was not limited to just the classroom. It is now a regular behavior for me to research any new medical condition that I come across. Whenever my friends are sick I immediately ask them what their symptoms are and what diagnosis and treatment their physician prescribed for them. This is why going to medical school is so important to me, because I see it as a way to finally answer all the questions I have. But even after medical school I cannot see myself without always looking to further my knowledge in order to better my patients.

What factors do you think should be stressed in supporting your application? Are there any weaknesses or gaps in your preparation that concern you? If you have withdrawals or contrasting grades on your transcript that require explanation, take the opportunity to do so at this time.

I think the strongest part of my application is the dedication I’ve put into researching what is required of me to get through medical school. I’m completely aware of the work that needs to be done in order to succeed in medical school and I also have a good understanding of life during residency. I am also confident in my ability to be a physician after my numerous shadowing opportunities. I feel that I’m very capable of developing the clinical skills required to be a competent practitioner. My one withdrawal I may have is what my performance on medical exams may be, since I have never been a traditionally excellent academic student. But one-way I see bettering myself in medical school is by taking part in a Problem Based Learning program. I think that I would excel at this type of learning method above the traditional lecturing method because it is centered around case studies. This is extremely complementary to what I look to get out of a career in medicine. Being approached by daily problems that need to be solved through logical thinking and testing.

7th Wheel?

You know what the only thing more awkward than watching Love Actually with two couples?

Watching it with three.

I Have a Man Crush on Eric Mangini

"The Jets continued their climb up the rankings, moving just outside the top 10 to No. 11. Apparently we were a little off when we put them at No. 31 to open the season."

-ESPN.com, NFL Power Rankings

Okay, it's official. The Jets have officially gotten me excited for football. I swore to myself that there was no way I was going to get worked up about football this season, and I tried to fight it, but by George they did it. Ugh... I'm going to regret this.

Someone Out There Must Like Their Job

Today I was interning in the ER and one of the physicians asked me what my major was and what I wanted to do after graduation. I told him that I wanted to go to medical school and right away he gave me the sign to stop in my tracks. Like many others he told me to be a dentist. What the hell?!?

I know there aren't many of you reading this, but would someone please tell me that you enjoy your job! (Non-medical personnel need not apply) I need a little reassurance. Granted I don't think I'm anything like these people, but how could so many people be wrong? (All 3 of them...) The only thing these people ever mention is how the job isn't worth the money, but I'm not even worried about the money. Well, I guess that's a naive lie. But I'm perfectly happy making the average physician salary of $150K a year. And I think I know what I'm getting myself into after hearing all these horror stories. It's also not like I plan on going into a crazy soul sucking specialty like one of the surgeries. I just want to be your typical hospitalist at a non-academic hospital and see a good variety of pathology.

So com'on. Who likes their job? Who is happy that they went into medicine?

I'm totally not going to get any responses...

My First Tag!

Big thanks to Dr. K for making my initiation into the blogsphere official!

It seems I have to list my top 5 Christmas songs. This is appropriate since I just started playing my Christmas playlist recently.

*In no particular order*

1. Oh, Holy Night
2. Winter Wonderland
3. All I Want For Christmas Is You
4. The Christmas Song
5. Carol of the Bells

This list isn't really fair because I like a ton equally as much. They kind of all just blend together in my head.

Hmmm, I shall tag...

1. Proudly Penniless
2. Kungfukitten
3. Irish Doc
4. The Angry Medic
5. Doctor Mama

Ugh, I felt so dirty doing that and hold none of you accountable to actually doing this, except Proudly Penniless.

I Miss the Rain and Buses!

Let's try a more general overview of my trip this time.

Some things that I got around to seeing after the Museum of Natural History (maybe in order of actual occurrence)

Institute of Contemporary Art: Only went to because that's where Highbrow's writing group decided to hold their meeting. It was interesting what the christianites wrote, and especially what they think racy and angry writing sounds like. Highbrow didn't give me the props that I rightfully deserved when he told his story. (It was inspired by a long conversation that we had with one of our mutual friends)

Covent Garden: Nothing much to say. Cool market area. I just wanted to see it because I'm really obsessed with My Fair Lady. I looked everywhere for someone selling leaves of lettuce, but to no avail.

Piccadilly Circus, Oxford St., Regent St., Leicester Square: All of them were really cool and decked out for the holidays. There is a reason they are all listed together, which I will get to later.

British Museum: Wow, I had no idea Great Britain stole so much stuff from other countries. Hehe I kid, I kid. I wouldn't want to piss the majority of my readers. But seriously, some very impressive stuff. There are probably very few, if any, museums that come close.

St. Paul's: This was probably my favorite stop. I originally wanted to see it because it's a Mary Poppins locale, but it really took me away. I had no idea how huge the place was. Probably the most impressive church I've ever been in, second only to St. Peter's Basilica. I found it a little weird that the entire crypt was dedicated to explorers and war heroes of England though. I generally like a little more separation of church and state, but I guess it's to be expected when it's the Church of England...

Imperial War Museum: I finally made it across the Thames. I liked this museum as well. I wasn't really into the artifacts all that much, even though the original letters were cool. And I liked the layout of the museum. It always kept you on your toes and made looking for your friend an adventure. A 15-minute adventure. What I enjoyed the most was reading about the different conflicts and how they resolved, or lack thereof. I think British history should be a required separate class in high school just so everyone can see that America is not the only country that goes into other people's countries and starts shit.

Parliament, Big Ben, West Minster Abby: I just walked past these and took pictures. Highbrow wouldn't pay to go into West Minster so I didn't go in. I'm sure it couldn't compare to St. Paul's anyway.


Now, while I was walking (and walking, and walking...) throughout London I noticed that there were a couple of American things that are extremely popular and they really shouldn't be. Specifically I'm talking about Pizza Hut and KFC. There are THREE Pizza Huts in Leister Square. For those of you who do not know what Leister Square is, just imagine a big square made of movie theatres, cafes, stores and fast food joints. If you stood in the middle of the green you could easily see three Pizza Huts completely packed with people.

Note to the British: PIZZA HUT SUCKS. STOP EATING THERE AND INSTEAD STEAL SOME ITALIANS (along with all your Greek and Egyptian artifacts) TO OPEN UP A REAL PIZZA PLACE!

As for the KFCs, I learned that some things that I thought were cultural tendencies might actually be ethnically linked. I'll leave it at that.

Some of the good things that you've made popular in England: Starbucks (up for debate) and jeans.

I also now know where Mean Girls, Nip/Tuck and Final Destination got their inspiration for killing people with buses. Straight from the street of London. You guys make New York City streets look tame.

Surprisingly, the rain was never really an issue. The only time it really down poured was when I had to walk to the Tube with my luggage when going home. Great timing...

All in all, I had an amazing time. It really was everything I hoped it would be and worth every cent.

Day One: The Arrival

Departure Day, started with leaving Po-Town (home of my school; short for poor town) and traveling to the airport. My roommate drove and we were planning on stopping by his home town before going to the airport. But because a certain state in the union has the most horrendous traffic known to man (and a delightful smell to get to be stuck in along with it) I decided it would be better if he just dropped me off at the airport 3 hours early than to risk missing my plane while coming back.

Check-in went smoothly, except for the fact that I thought they were going to lose my luggage because I never saw them put a sticker on it before I left. Security had no line and no fuss. It was just a matter of sitting and waiting to board my plane.

When I got on the plane I thought that I was going to have a window seat with no one sitting between me and aisle seat, since that's the seat a specifically picked the night before. But it wasn't meant to be. Instead I sat with a delightful, older British couple that was going home from Cancun. They had mistakenly thought that I too was going home to England, which pleased me because it proved to me that I was going to look like a complete tourist on sight alone. Although, I never really thought I would stick out since I am a typical WASP, as Highbrow likes to call me, and also because he knows I despise it. (PS-only one of those things accurately describes me. Another two are only close, but my last name sounds sooo British (although, at the same time you know it's a made up name) that I just assume the role of a WASP)

The flight went by very quickly and I was surprised that I was given two meals on the flight. Mmm, I actually enjoy airplane food and thought it died out along with the birth of Jet Blue. Unfortunately though, my iPod crapped out on my after only being played for a total of 4 hours after being fully charged. I think it's time that I get a new one. (hellooo, Christmas and birthday) Mine is that second generation one that has the four buttons at the top, as opposed to the click wheel.

Day 1:
At customs I got grilled like you couldn't imagine. First I was asked the typical questions: how long will you be here, for what purpose. But then she saw my index card with the cell numbers of some of my friends. So she asked what it was as if they were access numbers to a nuclear weapon. Then she asked a series of questions that I thought were really over the top like: why my friends were in London, for how long, when they were leaving, where they were staying, (how the hell do I know) where I was staying, how much money I had on me, if I had credit cards, when I was leaving, proof of when I was leaving. (thankfully I had a confirmation e-mail on me that had my return flight on it) My friends here agreed that the women was a little nuts and were never grilled like that whenever they returned to the UK.

I then proceeded to get my money exchanged, which made me cry. ($370 = 170GBP) Then I hopped on the Gatwick Express and got to the Tube, where I had a little trouble with someone going through on my swipe, and then needing to buy another, but not knowing how to use the machine, so instead waiting on the painfully long time again.

When I got to my hotel the room wasn't ready yet. I was suppose to meet Highbrow at Piccadilly Circus at 12PM, which was about 1.5 hours away. I asked the receptionist how long it would take to walk and he said about and hour, but thought I was crazy for walking that far. Well, I did it, and it wasn't that bad at all. It helped me get situated with the city quickly. But I still am having issues crossing streets. :-/

I hung out with Highbrow for the afternoon and went to the V&A museum. Then I went back to my room and slept for a couple of hours. Afterwards I walked to my other friends flat (but not after mistakenly going into the Dutch Embassy's backwater entrance) and hung out there for the night. I then proceeded to walk home in the rain since the Tube was closed. It rains too much, but I don't mind it as long as I have my hooded sweatshirt, which I guess I'll be wearing everyday here.

This morning (I'd like to stress the fact that it was the morning but for some reason the Bold and Italics option aren't available) I went to the Natural History Museum. It was pretty awesome. The building itself is breath taking alone, And it's not close to as kiddy as the one in New York City. I heard that the Science Museum here is, so I think I'll skip that one.

Now I'm here in Highbrow Hopefull's classroom building in London. We met up for lunch and now we're waiting for his writing group and then I'm going to drag him to some tourist thing that he'll claim to not be able to afford.

This post was much longer than expected but I wanted to get everything down. You're going to have to excuse me though because I don't plan on editing it beyond spell check.

Cheers!

WHOOOAAAAA

Yo everyone, I actually made it to London. Don't really know how I did it.

Stories to follow when I get back!

How does this sound?

3. How and when did you become interested in medicine or the health profession to which you are applying? (“Why do you want to be a _____?” Go beyond “because I want to help people and like science”). Which branch of medicine are you currently interested in practicing? In what setting do you anticipate practicing?

When I started college I was undecided between psychology and biology with no real aspirations of medical school. I considered it above my academic ability and wrote it off. Fortunately though, one of the first classes I took freshman year was Human Biology and it really sparked my interest. When taking it I knew that I was only being taught the basics of human body and I found myself wanting to know more and more about its complexities. This by no means meant that I planning on applying to medical school. I had simply decided that I wanted to center my studies on human biology.

Later on in my freshman year I realized that I loved applying what I knew to problem solving situations. I guess it gives me a sense of satisfaction taking what I learned in the classroom and using it to answer someone’s questions or explain to someone what’s going on in their own body. It then occurred to me that I could actually make a living doing this. Medicine started to seem like the perfect fit for my interest since I could get paid for learning about what I liked and applying it to real life situations and seeing actual results from my treatment plan.

The summer following my freshman year I started getting some clinical experience to see if medicine is what I envisioned. My Physician Assistant Dermatologist offered the opportunity to shadow her in the practice to see what a typical day is like. After the first day I was hooked. Although I did not find dermatology all that exciting I still loved going into seeing patients hearing about their problems and trying to figure out in my head what was going one and what treatment would be right for them. That summer I learned a couple of important things. One, medicine was definitely the field I wanted to pursue. Two, I most likely wanted to go into a primary care field because they would see a wider variety of pathology, as opposed to specializing. Three, I wanted to become a physician as opposed to a physician assistant because physician assistants mainly see the same easier to treat problems.

Ever since that summer I’ve been doing my research on what to expect in medical school, residency and beyond. I’ve read all the horror stories and have had more than a couple of physicians try to talk me out of pursuing this career. But I’ve already accepted these hardships and feel like as long as I go into this field with the right reasons and mindset, then it is still all worth the effort. I feel that even with the long hours, incompliant patients and years of training this is still a field that I would really enjoy and do well in.

After doing some research and interning in a variety of different field I can see myself happiest in a primary care field, more specifically Internal Medicine. I think this is the area that best fits what I’m looking to get out of a career. I also can see myself working in a hospital setting as opposed to a private practice. A hospital would allow me more tools to do my job and also give me a better sense of continuity of care. Taking all of these things into consideration I see the job of being a Hospitalist (general medicine in-patient care specialist) to be the most appealing.

Note: I think I'm suppose to keep this to around 500. It's for my Pre-Health Professions Committee.

Make Note of the Time

Right now I'm taking a break from doing my MCAT HW.

Tonight we're having fun with Kinectics, Force, and some other topic that I haven't gotten to yet. I've completed 1 out of 3 chapters due by tomorrow. I don't think I'm going to manage getting chapter 3 done since I'm anticipating chapter 2 taking longer thatn chapter 1.

Because my housemates were having a bit of a get together at our house I decided to do my work at a quieter environment. Unfortunatly, at our school the library closes at 9:30PM on Friday. I guess there isn't much of a student demand for it at that time. I wonder why...

Instead I'm utilizing my Microbiology lab pass, which allows me access to the lab 24/7, and studying in there. (I'm sooo cool) Well actually I got into that lab and walked into the ajacent Botany lab because it has larger tables. I guess plant bio is good for something after all.

I suppose I should go back to my work. Good thing the class is at 3PM. Well, it might be at 2PM, but Kaplan sucks at communicating with us and hasn't told us what time the instructor is going to arrive. Oh, listen to me complain. I sound as if I've paid them $1300 (about 700 GBP - shout out to my British followers) for this torture. Freaking Kaplan...

More like, Kraplan. (ha. ha. ha...)

[edit: since my blog records my entries in PST I'll just tell you that it's curretnly 1AM]

My First Meme

I don't despise meme's the same way some people do. I just ignore the ones I don't find entertaining. This one I do.

1. Grab the nearest book.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next four sentences on your blog, along with these instructions.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest!

Here's mine:

With my money and his cleverness, we could make the house talk of Paris.

I didn't answer right away. It took me more than a moment to realize that I could own a theatre just like that. Own it like the gems in the chest, or the clothes I wore, or the dollhouse I'd sent ot my nieces.
--The Vampire Lestat; Anne Rice

PS - does anyone know how to tab in blogger?

Me Amo Azul

There was something really bugging me about my old template, so I decided to change.

I'm not sure if I'm that crazy about this one either, but we'll try it out for now.

PS - the blogroll was greatly updated

Party Pooper

I often wonder what possesses people to drink so heavily that they achieve a BAC of .39 and wind up in the hospital. (Let alone the infinite other BACs below that, which are equally as stupid)

Now don't be under the assumption that I'm against drinking. I drink from time to time, but probably considerably less than that of my peers. To put it quite frankly, I think alcohol is extremely overrated. Sure it's nice to get loosen up from time to time, and it can be helpful during certain situations, but I often I think I have just as much fun (if not more) when sober and with friends, than when I'm drunk.

Why don't I like to drink? No, it's not because I do/say less embarrassing things without alcohol, cause I can honestly say that I only regret one alcohol related incident that I caused. Actually, outside of that incident I’ve yet to do/say anything really regretful. I don't spill my heart, (trick question: Dr. House is heartless) I don’t have unfortunate hookups (or fortunate ones for that matter) and I don’t put my friends in any situations that I would be pissed that they put me in. (Like the way I worded that one?) All things considered, I keep a very strong grasp on my better judgment. I can't really explain it, but I like being more aware and competent than being under the influence. Although, it would seem that I’ve missed out on a number of life experiences because of it. I wonder if it’s for the better.

Does that make me a prude/kill joy? Possibly, but I never ever get on anyone's case about drinking. God knows I’ve gone plenty out of my way to supply my friends with their fuel, and places to burn their fuel, and rides to and from these locations for that matter. (Yeah, I’m a huge tool) So, don’t even start accusing me of thinking that I’m holier-than-thou for avoiding the bottle, because I approve of its consumption fully when it’s in responsible moderation. (I’m holier-than-thou because I’m completely self-sacrificing to my friends! (Heh, that’s a joke.)) When it comes down to it I probably don’t drink that much because I’m more useful to my friends when sober and God knows that I like to feel needed. That’s an entirely different self-psychoanalysis entry though.

What I don’t understand though is how people get to the point of near (and actual) death. Do they drink that much to prove something? Is it because they can’t get the same sensation that they use to be able to with a lesser amount? Can a bad situation really drive someone to the bottle that hard? What’s the deal? I have a very hard time ever feeling bad for these people and I wish I could better understand how they get to that point. Does this make me a judgmental asshole? Yes, but I’m sorry if I hold the human race to a higher standard. I think people should be able to take bad situations and deal with them without the bottle.

Tonight, Roommate texted me that he was at the hospital with his friend who managed the feat of getting a .39 BAC. He concluded the text with his friend being “lucky to be alive.” Like the jerk I am, I responded with, “But he’s not so lucky to be stupid enough to get like that.” To be honest, I don’t regret saying that in the least. He did that to himself and he’s dealing with the consequences of his actions. I’m willing to alter my opinion of the situation with more information, but as of now I think the guys is a jerk.

Disclaimer: I have drunk to the point of blacking out, passing out, puking (not always where I want to) and taking naps with my head on toilet seats. I tell you this not to impress you in anyway. (I don’t know why it would) But to just put it out there that I too have gotten completely smashed and all the steps in between.

Dr. Wannabe going soft

I swear to God I think I'm growing a uterus.

Ever since I saw this family at the dermatologist's office the other day I've had kids on the brain. The kids were soooo happy to see daddy come out of the office, and he was equally as happy. It's really quite disgusting. And I just read some retarded article from CNN.com on tactics to getting your kid to go to sleep for no reason. The only people I ever hear randomly say, "Ohhhhh, I want a baby..." are my girl friends, and I'm pretty sure it's when they're ovulating.

Ugh, I don't think I want to be 30+ when I start a family. I think I want to spend my 50's with older children, unlike my own parents whose youngest will turn 20 when they're 60. They're currently 52 and I'm 20, and the oldest. And since I also think I would want like 4 kids I would have to get the last one in by the time I'm 35ish at the latest...

Oh, and then there's the whole meeting the person I want to spend the rest of my life with...

Dr. Wannabe, just stop right now. This whole looking to the future has to stop now.

WTF, why am I even telling you people (read as: c-wod/imquietchris) this.


I'm going to go listen to my most guilty pleasure song ever now.
Later.

Count It!

Dr. Wannabe just got accepted into the short term abroad program to Italy next semester!

I will be traveling throughout Italy for three weeks between the end of May and early June!!!!!

Wow, nothing's gone wrong yet.

Passport has arrived at home fully renewed.
Plane tickets have been bought.
Hotel reservations have been made.

Looks like it's gonna happen.
w00t!

Little Old Women Are Funny

Today, I went in to intern today in the ER. I don't know when I first noticed her, but there was a little old woman, maybe about 80, all by herself in Isolation Room #2. At first I wasn't sure whether they gave her that room because she was old, or if they were using for what it's intended, crazy people.

Later on, I heard one of the nurses remind the PA that the woman was still in there waiting to been seen. I had seen her sleeping just before and figured there was no huge rush to see her.

In the last 15 minutes of my 3 hours we finally got around to seeing her. When we walked in we were first greeted by the patient's daughter. The PA started asking the patient where she was from and what was the matter, to which she snapped, "You know where I'm from and why I'm here." The daughter was a little taken aback and then whispered to us, not all that discreetly, that her mother has some dementia. The patient was not deaf, nor dumb, and quickly said, "I'm not what she says I am." I liked her already cause she didn't take shit.

We went along with the history and learned that she was visiting us because she had slipped out of her wheelchair somehow. It was a very non-descriptive story. The patient kept insisting that it was a very gentle fall and that she had no pain, thanks to her "big fanny." Everyone chuckled and the PA said, yeah I have a big fanny too. She then gave him a look over and said, "That's not all you've got," while staring right at his gut. The daughter was completely horrified at what her mother had just said, but the patient fought saying she had the right to say whatever she wanted because she had been there for 5 hours. (And no, I don't think she was at all exaggerating) The PA just chuckled and said that was fine. I think I was the only person in the room that she liked. At one point she had asked for a tissue, which I went searching around the ER for, and when I came back she was very thankful, something she did not at all feel towards the people who were keeping her where she was.


Ugh. I hope I never get to the point where I can't make my own decisions. It's completely degrading, especially when you are capable of making your own choices.

Cheers

I want to blog, but I don't have a topic. I hate blogging without a topic because it makes me feel like a n00b. Oh well.

Oh, oh, oh, I know what I can write about...
I'M GOING TO LONDON FOR THANKSGIVING BREAK!!!!!
(If you can't tell I'm very excited about this.)

When I was home last weekend for Mom's birthday I was talking to 3 of my friends who are currently studying in London and it was driving me insane. Ever since I was in high school I've wanted to study abroad for a semester. Back then I wanted Australia, but once I got to school I changed my mind to London because it gave me greater access to other countries I wanted to visit. Plus, I'm not much of a beach person since 1. No one wants to see this with a shirt off, and 2. I'll die of skin cancer, which is actually kind of unfortunate cause I actually do love the beach, but no one really knows that. But when I talked to the abroad people and told them I was a science major they more-or-less said, "Ewww, ewww, ewww, get out of here!"

Okay, you got me. I'm a little bitter towards them. Really they just told me that it's very hard for science majors to go abroad and get any of their science requirements accomplished. But they didn't even try to find a way to make it work out. Bastards...

Anyway.........
There and then I decided that I was going to figure out a way to go visit my friends in London this semester. I pulled up the old events calendar on the school's website and realized that my only real break was Thanksgiving. A couple of months ago I was hesitant at the idea of going away for Thanksgiving, but something changed and I didn't care anymore.

I marched up to talk to my Dad about the idea of me going away and he was surprisingly supporting. Like, was on Continental Airlines' website looking at how many reward miles he had that second, supportive. It was weird, but I think it has something to do that my entire family vacationed overseas without me last summer since I had damn, damn, damn, Physics. I wasn't even really looking for him to take care of the airfare, but I guess he felt he owed it too me.

The next day I went to the post office and had my passport expedited. I thought it was going to be a real pain in the ass, but it was surprisingly hassle free. I wasn't too crazy about my picture and also realized my friend was right about pale people not being meant to wear yellow. Whateves. Such a non-issue.

Everything going so smoothly started making me very, very weary that something terrible was going to happen to prevent this trip from happening. Things never work out for me this well. Something was bound to go completely wrong and really have the potential of ruining everything. Then, it happened. I was in the kitchen emptying out my pockets and I found the shipping receipt from the post office. I had never really looked at it when I was at the post office, but the words on it hit me like a train and made my heart stop dead.

Ship to:
CITI GROUP
P.O. BOX ######
Philadelphia, PA #####-####

Oh. My. God. Why was my passport mailed to CITI GROUP?!
I started freaking out on spot. I was sure that my passport had been mailed to the wrong place and I was never going to make it to London.

Breath in. Breath out. Breath in. Breath out.
Okay Dr. Wannabe, let's check things out online and figure out if something really terrible actually occurred.

::Google "passport"::
::click link::
::click link for renewing passports::
::scroll till see an address::
PO BOX #####
Philadelphia, PA #####-####
::anxiety goes down 95%::

I'm feeling okay about this now. My passport is going to an address very similar (if not the actual) to the one it needs to go to. And you know what the worst thing that happens is that it's sent back to the post office and they realize where it really needs to go.

::crosses fingers that they're that smart::

Actually, the worst thing that happens is that it goes to the wrong place and no one does anything with it and I'm out a passport and a trip to London.

I’m going to call my Dad tomorrow to confirm that tickets were bought. He has the exact time, date and flight number so everything should be taken care of. Then we’ll move on to booking a hotel, which is already picked out, but baby steps people, baby steps.


Next time on House, D.O. I think we’ll talk about how I’m less than impressed with emergency medicine and my future predictions for my specialty. (Talk about getting waaaay ahead of yourself)

P.S. – If you read my blog regularly drop a comment so I can check out your blog. My regulars seem to be hitting lulls in entries and I need to make up for it.

(**Anyone else really annoyed by the number of “but’s” I used in this post? I was. But (ugh) it’s blogging and I’m not going to fuss over my writing. Although, I truly feel my blog entries are complete crap compared to my academic writings. I suppose I just feel inferior to all the good blog writers I read.**)

I Just Want to K*** People

You can make up your own mind about which 4 letter K-word that is after you read my entry.

Today I had microlab and we were doing some Grams Stains. I'll quickly sum up what Gram Stains are.
Gram positive basteria: look purple
Gram negative bacteria: look pink

I was making my gram negative slide and everything was going swell. I followed the procedure and life was grand. Then I tried to find the bacteria under the microscope and I was having a hard time focusing on the bacteria. They weren't that colorful and it was hard to get a crisp image of them. My professor told me that they weren't looking right and I should make them again. But he wasn't able to tell me where I went wrong.

OK, fine. I just made another and let the Safarnin sit a little longer. I went through the process again just to realize that I forgot to heat fixate. That basically means that all of my bacteria were in the dye tray after I washed them off the slide 4 different times. Little annoying, whatever. I went and made a third one. They looked exactly the same and the TA and professor still had no idea what was going on. Uggggh.

I do it a fourth time and no dice. The professor then looks at them under a different microscope and what a surprise, they looked perfect. There was no reason to have done it four times. He was just being a jerk and not letting the non-perfect slide.

I moved on to doing a Gram positive. The TA took a look at it and told me that my bacteria weren't distributed well enough. Are you serious?!??!?!?!?!? Well I'm sorry if there mothers didn't teach them how to be more evenly distributed.

By this point I had had it. I declared that I was going home, which wasn't that outrageous since the lab period had been over for ten minutes. (Note: I only got half of my work done, whereas many other were on the verge of being done.) So I'm going to pick up my dye tray which is overly full from having to repeat making a slide 4 times. Guess what happened. Actually, no. I'll just tell you the end result. My shoes and brand new jeans that were amazzzzzing now have crystal blue dye, safaranin, Gram iodine and decolorizer all over them. Yeah, that's never going to come out.

Everyone was on alert not to go anywhere near me. My professor thought it would be a good idea to make small talk by saying, "Hey Dr. Wannabe, wasn't it funny how all those slides you made were fine and just looked lighter under your microscope."

::people running for cover:: ::crickets::

"Yeah, it was really funny."
I don't think I need to tell you that I said that in the most sarcastic asshole voice ever. I was actually quite impressed that I had the balls to speak to a professor that way.

Microbiogy hasn't officially become my least favorite class of the semester.

How could I abandon such a weak and defenseless blog?!

I feel terrible that I haven't been updating my blog. Just lately I haven't felt like I've had a ton to say on the whole theme of my blog. Plus my workload is crazy and tonight was the first real night I've gotten to take "off." I say off in quotes because I actually have some microlab stuff I have to write up before I go to bed.

This is actually is a coincidently good time to post since today all the Juniors and Seniors who are applying to med school had to meet together with the chair of the pre-health committee. It wasn't all that informative since I've been OCD about the whole applying thing this spring semester freshman year. The number one thing the chairman wanted to get across to us is that it's uber uber important to get our applications in ASAP. Fortunately, I don't think that's something that I'm going to have to worry about. Horray OCD!

During the meeting I was having one of my typical anxiety-from-applying-induced-panic-attacks. Except this one was different. Yes, my heart was still pounding away a million miles an hour. And yes, I never thought I was getting full breathes in. But it was still different. While my body was freaking out about the whole thing my brain was like, "Oh, whatever. I'm so done with this whole getting worked up about applying BS." I think this might be the beginning of me calming down. Horrah! Really the only thing I'm worried about is the committee interview where they rank how highly they recommend you for med school. But I'm fairly sure that I'll have full blown panic attacks once the MCATs roll around though.


Speaking of MCATs
I recently registered for my Kaplan MCAT review course. That only put me back $1300... According to the chairman today the MCATs are the single most important part of a med school application, which is the same thing that one of the dean's at my top choice med school said. So really I'm banking on doing really well on that test. God knows that my 3.0 sci-GPA and 3.2 cum GPA aren't going to catch any eyes. Well, they might. Just in a bad way. If only one could get into med school by good looks alone...

Wait, what the hell am I talking about? I want to improve my chances.


My shadowing has been really interesting thus far. Still waiting for the elusive intubation though. I was thinking about maybe posting the journal entries that I have to write for my internship. I'm fairly confident that I'm allowed to post those as long as it's Patient #1, #2 and so on. I mean God. You don't even know who I am.

I'll post those later on. That way I don't make this post hideously long.

I Feel Like the Biggest Asshole in the World

I had my first day of Microbiology Lab today. Walking into class not really knowing anyone in the lab I didn't have someone scout out as a lab partner. People started entering the room and taking their seats. Some people knew each other but mostly people didn't know the others. Class started and "Phil" walked in a couple minutes late. Phil had been in a couple of my classes in the past and walking in late was a usual occurrence. But the teacher would never say anything because there is obviously something mentally wrong with him. If I had to guess I would say that it's some form of autism, but I really can't really put my finger on it.

Long story short....
The professor moves him to the station next to me, which makes him my lab partner. Throughout the lab he's having a very difficult time learning how to use the microscope. Now I know that a microscope can be tricky to learn how to adjust and see clearly using both eyes, but Phil was having a hard time with everything about it. When trying to adjust the height of it he took the headpiece off and couldn't get it back on by himself. The professor had to stop he lecture to help show him how to put it on. Trying to use the oil emersion lens was another story within itself. And it’s not like he hasn’t had plenty of experience with a microscope before, because it’s used a lot in Gen Bio. Following the step-by-step directions that we were being given seems to be the main weakness, which I believe is a sign of autism.

Saying all of this makes me feel like a huge jerk. But I'm not even trying to be mean. I'm just saying what happened. And I feel even worse that I'm worried about being his partner. I know that he had to get through Gen Bio and Gen Chem to get to this point, which is no easy task, but I still have my reservations. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to do all the work and explain everything to him. I've never been good around the mentally challenged although my experience is limited. I feel like the only way I can communicate with them sometimes is by talking down to them and I hate belittling people like that. I don’t even mean talking down to them in the “I’m better than you” sense as much as how a mother talks down to her child about the dangers of touching a hot stove.

Maybe I’m making a big deal about nothing. Only time will tell. In the mean time does anyone have any advice? I’m fairly sure I’ve lost any continuous audience I had but it’s worth a shot.

I'm Back In More Ways Than One.

I moved back to school a couple of days ago and it feels so good to be back. Home was getting a little (read as: very) boring.

Remember my post a little ways back about how my school is messing with my emotions? Well nothing has changed.
Good thing: The triple has been broken down once and for all.
Bad thing: The awesome change that the registrar made to my music class has kind of been changed back. It's still at the great time, but it's back with the bad teacher. Oh well. What you going to do.

The townhouse I'm living in is really, really nice and my housemates are doing a kick ass job of getting it decorated. The common room is looking hotttt. My room is much more spacious than I was anticipating. There seemed to be some momentary hysteria about a certain someone putting their mini-fridge in the kitchen, but I took care of the problem.

The only bad thing about the house is the fact that my room is an icebox. I keep setting the thermostat to 68, which I consider I fairly normal temperature. It somehow seems to always get back down to below 60. Interesting. And since my room is on the first floor... Well you get the picture. I wonder how hot it really gets on the second floor. The air vent in my room is currently duct tape shut, but that's not keeping me from considering putting on a second pair of pants.

In other news I setup my hospital orientation session. I'm extremely excited and can't wait for the internship to start. I don't know if I've ever mentioned this, but my internship is in the ER at the hospital across the street from my school. Waaaaaaay coooooooooooool. Hopefully the rest of the registering process will continue smoothly. Up until this point it has been an extreme pain to get everything started, but the woman who normally sets everything up is on vacation. Hopefully forever.

Oh, neato. My housemates all went to eat and didn't ask me, again. Cool deal.

It's been a little weird living here since I'm the only one who doesn't already know everyone else. My roommate is teammates with these guys but he's not moving in until Sunday. I should probably stop being such a loner in my room, but whenever I'm around them I have absolutely nothing to say since I don't really know them. Whatever, this happened last year and I ended making some pretty good friends. One of them is even planning on living with me next semester. I'll just have to turn on the charm and try to lower my sarcasm ray. I will break into the cross-country team's inner circle!

Time to take a nice hotttt shower and then put my under armor on.
Later.

Oh, Burrrrrrrrned

Today I read a blog that talked about how Americans don't believe in evolution and how it's really pathetic. (It is) Then I was going through the comments and someone said that it's depressing how the country is becoming a bunch of morons. He went on to compare these people to those who don't believe in Global Warming.

I don't believe in the popular theory of global warming. Thus, he thinks I'm a moron too. I probably lost this person's respect and that upsets me. Oh, well.

On other note I've created my schedule for the upcoming TV season. I shall now share it with all of you.

Sunday: The Amazing Race @ 8PM (Premiers 9/14)
The 4400 @ 9PM (Season Finale 8/27?)

Monday: Prison Break 8PM (8/21)
24 9PM (January)

Tuesday: House, M.D. 8PM (9/5) - funny story. I have my MCAT review class then.
Nip/Tuck 10PM (9/5)

Thursday: Survivor 8PM (?)
CSI: AND Grey's Anatomy 9PM (9/21) - anyone else having this problem. oh yeah, it's also during a class.
ER 10PM (9/21)

Any suggestions for more shows? Not like I really need anymore.

Signs of True Success

I like to check the number of hits I get, where referrals come from, etc., and I think it's fair to say that most bloggers get their greatest sense of accomplishment when they receive hits from being results in a Google search.

The first Google referral I ever got was from the Google Blog search engine. I didn't really get all that excited about it because the search was for "Podiatrist."
Lame.

The second time around was more recent and this time from an legit Google search. It was for "subtitle Dr. Gregory House." A little cooler since it was from the Google search, but the criteria was lame and I was on the second page of results.

But ladies and gentlemen I have received my first #1 Google Search Result!
The three glorious "words" which helped me accomplish this:
666, satan, house

I would like to give a big shout out to the Satanist who made this possible!
Rock On!

Messing With Emotions

My college has been messing with my emotions big time lately.

First, I was very giddy because the registrar processed my summer physics class very quickly. Last year it took them over 2 months after the semester started to get my calc class process. But this year I wanted to have these extra credits so that I was higher on the priority list for parking. I had little hope that the class would be processed before the parking registration, but they did!!! I now have a thimble’s worth of faith in the registrar.
Status: Happy with school!

Remember not too far back I posted about how happy I was that my triple got broken down back into double that it's suppose to be. Well, since I don't trust housing for a second I've still been checking my housing assignment on a regular basis. Guess what? THEY PUT A NEW PERSON IN MY ROOM!!! Not only did they re-buildup my room, but it's with a transfer student who's going to be a sophomore. Transfer students aren't even guaranteed housing so why do they have to go back on the promise they made to me?!? (Sidenote: I looked up the kid on facebook and he actually doesn't look like that bad of a guy. Don't confuse this anger towards housing as hostility towards the kid.)
Status: Pissed off with school

Background info: I was signed up for a Music in Film class which was on Thursday nights. I later realized that I somehow signed up for the class with the really bad professor. I don't know how that happened. Must have been momentary insanity or something. I was then going to switch out of that class into a Human Nutrition class, which was schedule for the same time.

The other day I was looking up the schedule for the MCAT Kaplan class I'm going to take this year. I then realized that it met on Tuesday and Thursday nights and I wasn't going to be able to take Human Nutrition. (sadface) So today I was looking online for a class to take in place of it. I knew that there wasn't any class that I was going to be interested in because as we all know I have OCD with scheduling classes, and already knew about every class offered this semester. After giving up in finding a class that would fulfill a requirement and interest me I took a look at my current schedule. LE GASP! MY MUSIC CLASS HAS BEEN RESCHEDULED TO A DOEABLE TIME! I was very confused by this because I've never heard of the registrar just switch the day and time of a class. So I checked out the class info to make sure everything else was the same, but there was another major change... I'M NOW SIGNED UP WITH THE GOOD PROFESSOR!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY
Status: Very, very happy with the registrar. I'm sure that they pissed other people off when they did this though.

I still have the issue of how I'm going to watch CSI and Grey's Anatomy this semester. (Conflicts with the Kaplan course sometimes) First off, I don't know how I'm going to choose between my two loves. CSI was the first show that I ever got really addicted to and can be blamed as the cause of my TV addiction. Grey's Anatomy on the hand has become my new favorite show. I don't know how I'll decide what to watch live. Actually, I'm lying. I know that I'm going to watch Grey's Anatomy. Lately I've been getting a little tired of CSI, but I'll still manage to watch the new episodes every week.

Now I just have to figure out how I'll tape Grey's Anatomy on the night I have class. I don't really trust my roommate to tape it because he's pretty retarded when it comes to recording things. I could just trust my friend Steph to tape the show for me since she's going to be missing it too. But I never trust other people to do things for me. TiVo was always an idea in my head. And I reeeeally reeeeally want TiVo, but I don't think it's going to work with my school's internet network. (PS – the TiVo website sucks at answering my questions)

So I did a little research online. Non-Tivo DVRs are really expensive. Our cable provider doesn't offer a FauxVo service. Then I stumbled across a program that acts exactly like TiVo except on your computer. Then I found the piece of hardware that connects your TV cable to your computer. It was probably the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Combining my precious Mac with TV, genius. Again, it was a little pricey, but much more affordable than a DVR and with many, many more features. I'm currently bidding for the program in question on eBay and so far I'm the only bidder! (If any of you go behind my back and bid on this I will kill you faster than saying, "HOUSING SUCKS!")

Note: I’m really sorry that I don’t blog about more medically centered topics. I wish I could but I just don’t have that much medicine in my life yet. There should be a post soon about the specialty I’ve decided to focus on. And then soon after that we’ll have comments about how I don’t know what specialty I want at this stage of the game.

Genius

I'm a great fan of evolutionary logic-based thinking.

Doctor Mama wrote I great post about why the world is becoming fat. I've been preaching the same exact thing ever since I took Gen BioII and I'm glad to see that I'm right. (or that someone at least agrees with me)

I have to give props though. She does a much better job explaining it than I do.

Encounters

During the summer I work at a community park, which consists of a tennis center, platform tennis courts and mini-golf. Today, I was fortunate to get to open at 7AM. Normally I close and I prefer this since I'm a night person, but I owed someone a favor.

Around 11AM I saw some people walking over to the picnic tables with food and after a while it clicked that we had a birthday party this morning. Okay, whatever, not a big deal. A birthday party doesn't really involve me doing anything extra. I moved to the mini-golf hut and prepared to be bombarded by 5 year olds looking to play some mini-golf. I then see a car driving through the park towards the mini-golf hut, which is a little unusual since cars don't drive through the park. As the person got out of the car I immediately recognized the person as a patient I had recently met while shadowing. The party ended up being for his son.

Later on in the day he came up to ask for a club and ball for his son and I definitely thought he gave me a look like "hmmm... I feel like I've seen you somewhere," or "oh, this is the guy at the doctor's office. I wonder if he remembers me?" But regardless, there was a look. In my head I questioned whether to say hi and explain where he knew me from, but there was always the chance that there was no look at all and I was just being weird like usual. That time I let it go and didn't say anything.

I then talked with my co-worker about how I knew him but didn't know if he recognized me. I mean I don't think I even said anything in his presence during his doctor visit. She, like always, said that it would be weird if I said something and that it would probably go against some patient confidentiality thing. I told her she was nuts and it wasn't like I was announcing to the world what he went to the doctor for; which, by the way, was absolutely nothing embarrassing. Although, I did learn some supplementary private information about him, but I wasn't going around saying, "Hey! You're the guy who (insert private matter here)!" I ended up deciding that if I saw him again I would say hi.

He ended up being the one that came to pay for the party. Once again, I thought I saw a look like he knew me from somewhere. So, I said, "Are you wondering where you know me from?" His answer was kind of a vague yes/no thing, like as soon as a mentioned it he realized he knew me. Then I just told him that I was the student interning with the podiatrist. He immediately remembered me and we had a little chat, which didn't include anything about his health.

Afterwards, like usual, I felt like a moron for saying anything. But if he did recognize me and I didn't say anything then I didn't want to be that guy who can't remember a recent patient's face.

Question for the readers:
What would you have done in that situation?


Once again I make a big deal about nothing.

An Announcement:

I feel I should take this time to make something clear to everyone.

I am perfectly aware that TV doctor world is NOTHING like real doctor world. I've shadowed a few medical professionals in different areas. (Although they were all private practices) And I can honestly say that I think I have a good idea of what the real medical world looks like.

When I read the blog post that Intelinurse left (http://www.mylifemypace.com/2006/07/24/so-why-do-you-want-to-be-a-doctor-part-2/) I must say that I was quite humiliated. This is definitely how my entire blog comes off and I really want to do something to fix it. I don't think I want to do anything like changing the name of the blog, because it seems that I may have started to become popular. (5 post! 4 from people I don't know!) So instead, I think we're going to see a change in the subtitle and “About” section of the blog.

It also seems that people are quite worried that I really will/want to turn into House. Fear not. I'm way to big of a tool to ever become such a jerk. But I'm not gonna lie. In person I can be extremely opinionated and almost stubborn about my views, but that has never stopped me from doing whatever people ask of me. :-/ I’ll try to give you all a nice image of what my real personality is like, in terms of TV characters, of course.

Opinionated like Gregory House
Passionate like John Carter
Tool bag like Mark Green
Pussy like George (God, please don't set me up with any weird fat chicks.)

I'll finish this post with an excerpt from a letter of recommendation about me: (Read as: shameless pat on the back)

"Dr. Wannabe is inquisitive and witty ... When he accompanied me into patient visits he was professional, friendly, and most importantly compassionate. Dr. Wannabe has a wonderful bed-side manner which is naturally soothing and put patients right at ease."
- Super nice P.A. who I shadowed

Let me once again assure you that my reasons for going into medicine are for real. When I first went into college I was undeclared between pscyh and bio, and chose bio because is was really what I loved. I then decided at the end of freshman year that I would bite the bullet and become premed, which I use to think of being impossible. So, I changed my major from Biology to Biomedical Sciences and I have since basically committed my life to achieving my goal of becoming a great doctor in a TBD field that I love. (Leaning towards ER. Post some good ER doc blogs! I only know about Dr. Couz whom I adore. drcouz.blogspot.com)

Name Change?

I was watching my beloved ER Theatre last night, which is nothing more than two episodes of ER being shown back to back. Dr. Mark Green was still alive in these episodes and like usual was being a tool for everyone, losing hair and having relationship problems. Whenever I call myself a tool my friends say I'm just being a good friend. I still think I'm being a tool and they probably think so too. Regardless, I'm watching this episode and I'm starting to think, "Hmmmm, who does Dr. Green remind me of?"

Then it dawns on me. I am Dr. Green, minus the medical degree.

This was a very sad realization for me because I wanted to be the cool Dr. Gregory House, but instead I'm going to be the-nice-guy-who-finishes-last-Dr. Mark Green. I could definitely see myself in Dr. Green's shoes. "Hey Dr. Wannabe, can you do a rectal examination for me?" "Umm, I was just about to go home, but yeah I guess I could..." That's how it's going to go down and now I'm going to cry a little. And I'm probably going to be in the same hair situation as him when I'm his age. Whatever. At some point Natural Selection decided that having hair did not give a bigger edge in life. (This is what I'm going to tell myself and if you try to burst my bubble I will hunt you down.) I suppose the relationship side of life won't be that bad in the long run. Sure I'll go through a messy divorce with my first wife, but that's after lots of hot sex in hospital closets. And then in the end I'll end up marrying a tall, English red head. COUNT IT! And I will then soon after die of a brain tumor... Son of a bitch!

There is also a strong similarity between me and Dr. John Carter. Both are going into medicine because we love it even though we could easily get better paying jobs through family connections. (I'm don't have it to quite the same extent, but I'm sure it's there if it ever got to that point.) That's pretty much where it ends though. I don't plan on having an addiction to pain killers, and I'll be damned if I ever go to Africa to help people. I also don't think I'm going to have women swooning over me either because I look like Dr. Green. I wouldn't be that surprised if I had to help a family member kick a heroin addiction though. (Kidding. Well, half kidding)

After reading all of this I've come to the conclusion that I watch too much ER. Actually, I watch too much TV in general. What can I say? TV is my hobby/passion/heroin.

I'm sure in the future I'll go through what characters I could see myself becoming from Grey's Anatomy. (hint: none of them because I'm never going to have sex in a closet. Oh wait, George made a girl while having sex. We’ve found our winner!)

Let the Summer Begin

It's official. I dropped Physics. That's drop, not withdrawal, which means that med schools will never know about this class. Unless, one of you out there decide to tell them about my struggle with this class. But you guys are my pals. Except the damn frenchman. ::glares::

I don't know what I'm going to do with all of my free time. Probably do a lot of sleeping. Mmm, sleeeeep.

I'm also going to look around to do some more shadowing, hopefully a DO in a primary care field. I want to see what all the complaing is about. Unfortunaly the DO who I have might sights aimed for I've heard is not a social butterfly. Not like he's a mean guy or something, he's just not much of a talker. I'll just have to work my charm, again.

In other news, I also found out that my dorm room was broken down from a triple to a double. Let me explain.

April, 2006: Room Selection Day

My roommate and I were on line to select our room for next year. Ahead of us were a group of guys from the cross country team. They told us that they were going to choose to live in the same housing area that we were going to choose (8 person townhouse) and told us they would have an extra room to live in, if we so choose. Since my roommate is teammates with them and we know they're good guys we decided to live with them. The only problem was that the room that was left was a "build up." A build up is a room where they put one extra person into it temporary and then move the person out of it into another dorm when rooms open up. This year though housing once again had too many people requesting housing so the chances of an extra room opening up was looking slim. The guy who was suppose to room with us looked like the complete opposite of me and my roommate. Basically he looked like a big partying/working out/don't give a shit about school guido. And I'm an expert in facebook judging so it must have been true. All summer I've been checking our housing assignments online and today he was finally taken out of our room! Can I get an AMEN?!

Let's Try to Be Creative

I just saw a preview for this movie called The Prestige staring Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale. Who else is in this movie you may ask. Scarlett Johansson and Michael Caine

So what's my beef? Well... Christian Bale and Michael Caine were just in Batman Begins as Batman and Alfred, respectivly. And Hugh Jackman and Scarlett Johansson star together in the new Woody Allen movie, Scoop. A little odd I thought.

P.S. - It looked like a good movie. As of now I'm putting my money on it.

n00b

I'm such a moron.

Last spring the hospital that I'm doing my internship at told me how I'm going to need an up to date physical and general medical clearnance to do my internship. So I went home to get a physcial done before the school year ended, but I never got their exact list of requirements. I told my doctor my situation and he prescribed me a list of bloodwork to get done that would allow me to work in a hospital.

Fast-forword to the lab bill of $1200!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sitting here now thinking about the lab work that I had done and say to myself "WHAT THE FUCK? WASN'T I IMMUNIZED AGAINST ALL THOSE THINGS?!?!? So I check the list that I now have and realize that my physical with the dates of my immunizations covers everything....


I DIDN'T NEED ANY OF THAT BLOOD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is my doctor an idiot? Why did he prescribe all that stuff. God I was so stupid back then. If that happened now I would have been all over that shit. Oh the stuff you learn with basic life experience.

I'm Sorry

The class and work combination has taken over my life once again. I don't have time to do anything. Well, except for watching 6 hours of The 4400 tonight when I get gome from work. (11.45ish PM)

PS - Physics sucks more hardcore than ever. Today he started teaching us stuff that wasn't even close to being mentioned in the text book.

This is me bitching about stuff

Before the summer started my friends had asked me if we could go up to Vermont to go golfing and partake in other festivities. Since I knew that my schedule was going to be mad busy I never really gave this much thought cause I wasn't keen to the idea of only going for a weekend. Plus I don't golf so I didn't know what I would do with myself up there.

Last week we talked about it more and people showed interest in going and the idea started to grow on me. I idea of trying out mountain biking specifically caught my interest. So I went about getting permission from the parentals and calling family to make sure that the house wasn't going to be in use this weekend. After doing this planning I start asking the guys about traveling arrangements and stuff like that. Now I don't know why I'm so surprised about what happened after that, but people started backing out.

One person specifically had been really pushing that idea of going up for a weekend. This same person backed out and said it wasn't worth going up for just a weekend. Funny... When I said it wasn't worth going up for a weekend people though I was being a killjoy. But when others say it's not worth it it's completely rational thinking. Oh, and there just happens to be a high school graduation party that weekend, and we all know what are at high school graduation parties. High School Graduate Girls!!!! His aunt even told him not to bother staying for the party but why give up the chance at not getting ass from the same girls again this summer?!

Another friend just refused to give an answer one way or the other when he had absolutely nothing better to do that weekend. There was one who wouldn't ask for time off from his job but it's only his second week working there so I won't bust on him.

I've basically given up on the idea of going up and it will be close to impossible to get me to want to go up again before ski season. Sucks for them.

I'm trying to find other things to do with my weekend since I don't really want anything to do with my friends right now. I asked my NJ friends from school if anything was going down, but he claimed that nothing was happening and that he had work. Last time I checked that's the answer he's had for every time I've wanted to come visit, and every one of those weekends he got shit faced. But when certain other people go to visit there is a huge celebration, which no one bothers to tell me about.

This is basically the story of my life. I go to great lengths to set up trips and good times but things never work out because people are jerks. Then when other people decide to do stuff I'm never thought of. Nice guys finish last? You're dead right.

w00t!

I PASSED PHYSICS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I got a C+ in the class and it's the most excited I've been in a long time. I realize that this is the opposite direction that I want to be going with my GPA, but it's dooooooooooone. Kind of...

Unfortunately, I've decided that I'm going against the plan that I typed out for ya'll and I'm going ahead with taking Physics for Science Majors II. I figure if I get the same prof then I will know what I'm going into. If I don't get the same prof then how could it be any worse. (Oh boy, I can't wait to see how fate gives me the finger on this one.) If I get physics completely out of the way this summer it would just make my life sooooo much easier. I get a week off before the class starts. My friend and I are hoping to go to Vermont this weekend. They want to golf and I want to go mountain biking. Hopefully things will work out.

In sadder news I'm starting to think that maybe Primary Care isn't what I want to go into. I'm afraid that insurance problems would suck the joy out of medicine. Errrrrr... I don't want to let the system beat me before I get started. Could I be a PCP but see patients as a specialist also? I'm just going to put these specific thoughts in the back of my head right now cause they're not going to change whether I apply to medschool or not.

Attempts at Disillusioning

Today, I was shadowing Podiatrist and everything went pretty well. I'm very comfortable around him and I'm becoming almost useful. After working with him a couple of times I've realized that the money that he makes is very important to him. At least I assume that because of how much he complains about insurance companies paying less and less for what he does. Okay, that's fine. He's feeling underappreciated and isn't getting out of his job what he thought he would be. Whatever, those are his priorities and things aren't going perfectly.

Deep down I wonder how bad could it really be when you're driving a Mercedes, taking your 10 and 7 year old to Disney/Universal Studios for the 18th time, (No exaggerating. That's the number he told me.) and going out to lunch with your wife to Cheesecake Factory where he predicts to spend about $100 dollars. And those trips to Florida he told me use to cost him about $3600 and now cost in total about $4000. All I know is that if I was living that kind of lifestyle I would be extremely happy with where I was. Now I'm not trying to deny that money is important to me because let's be honest we work for a reason. But the reason I'm choosing medicine is because it's the area that I can enjoy the most while still making a living.

The last patient of the day comes in with her husband who happens to be a Family Medicine physician. FM gives me a weird look and then asks if I was a resident. (I was beyond honored) I then told him that I was pre-med and the first thing he tells me is, "Don't do it." At first I gave a smile cause often doctors will say that kiddingly. But it didn't stop there. Podatrist and FM start venting to each other about stupid patients, liability and insurance companies. (By this point in the day if I hear one more thing about insurance companies I'm going to hit someone.) FM then gives me a scenario that he's currently in and asks how I would handle it. I give my naive premedical student answer that the best you can do is tell your patient all their options and how serious the situation is. He then goes on about how that's how it should be, but isn't what reality is. Now I'm perfectly aware of this and know that you need to watch your back more than that, but I can't honestly make a real decision without some experience under my belt. So after he says, "Don't do it," for about the 5th time I ask him if he's actually serious, because I get the sense that he's not just kidding around anymore. He gave me a straightforward yes, but gives the routine “But if the money’s not important/If it’s what you really like…” support. Podiatrist has told me from day one that if I do end up in medicine I should only consider plastic surgery, cosmetic dentistry and ER because those are the ones that don't have to deal with insurance companies. ER is the only one of those I would ever consider, but as of now I can’t see it being my number one choice.

AHHHHHH!!!! What is the deal with these jerkoffs. I don't want to be an asshole and just say to them, "I'm not in it for the money," because then it'll sound like I think they're shallow. I really don't think that of them. I just think that they probably should have chosen a better profession to make big bucks. Next time I see Podiatrist I'm going to man up and ask him how he chose his profession. I'm also going to ask Ortho. what he thinks about his career. I'm going to try not to give up Podiatrist, but I have a feeling that everyone knows how he feels about his job.

I'd also like to get it out there that I realize like I sound way too idealistic about the medical profession. I claim to be immune to the aggravation of "the system," but I know that I will become a little jaded by it all. I expect and accept this. But I still believe that as long as I go into something that I like then that will get me through life. Oh yeah, and I also am not going to be complaining if I make the physician average of $150,000.

I Hate Physics, But MD Doesn't Hate Me.

So, I'm in my last week of Physics for Science Majors 1. I still think I'm going to fail, thus leaving me with some very tough choices in the near future. I really wish that I had known that this school had tight connections to the Columbia School of Engineering and that the class is targeted for pre-engineers. So here are the potential scenerios:

• If I don't get credit for the class then I'm certainly not taking Physics 2 this summer. It's not that I wouldn't be allowed; I just don't know why I would do that so myself. That then leaves me with a couple of options of when to take physics.
• I take it in place of one of my classes this fall and spring w/ Orgo(year long) and Micro(fall)/Genetics(spring). This would then allow me to take the MCATs in the spring and continue with the tradtional medschool application process. But it may be too heavy of a course load. Plus the Physics prof. at my school is a diiiiiiick.
• I take Physics in place of Micro and Genetics and then leave my senior fall with Vertebrate Physiology, Developmental Biology and Micro, and my senior spring with Comparative Anatomy, Genetics and Human Nutrition and/or Clinical Microscopy.
• I take Physics at a different school next summer, which would leave me with that year off after college.
• I take Physics my senior year with the other classes listed above and then end up taking the MCATs senior spring and leave myself with a year without school.

I'm not a fan of any of these choices and I'm constantly praying that somehow I get credit for this class. And I honestly don't know which of these choices I would choose. My advisor would probably play a big role in what I do. If a gun were held to my head I would choose the first option and suck it up.

• If I get at least a C that means I get credit for the course, but I don't think I want to push my luck next summer session. I would then take Physics 2 at my school with Orgo and Genetics. I definitly think I could handle that. I've heard that genetics isn't that bad. This would also allow me to apply according to plan.
• If I get a B- or higher in the class then I would take Physics 2 this summer. I mean if I can get a B- then I guess grades don't mean shit in this class. Plus this would allow me to continue with my ideal schedule of classes.
  

Did this make your head spin? I normally love making these scenerios and scheduling for the future but the idea of not getting credit for this class makes me feel physically ill. Normally I'm all for talking about my classes with people, but I actually refuse to talk about Physics with others because of how crappy it makes me feel. I should know by sometime next week what the plan is going to be.

In other news...

I was telling my friend (whose mom is the office manager at the doctor's office where I'm shadowing) about how I didn't think the doctor liked being shadowed since he didn't make any real conversation. He just laughed at me. I was a little confused and he explained that the doctor isn't much of a talker the first time he meets people. NICE! (no sarcasm) I'm so glad that it's him and not me. I'm just going to have to break out the old charm. I've always had a knack for getting non-talkers to become comfortable and break out into conversation. Not that I think he's uncomfortable. I just seem to be good at getting the ball moving with the mutes.

Today in Physics the professor decided that he was going to give us his sales speech. He was talking about how the school has close connections with Columbia University's School of Engineering and how being a physics major is great. He told us all of this after finding out that the majority of the class was premed. He explained that as a physics major one could still apply to medical school and if it didn't work out engineering could always be a safety net.

Engineering....
a safety net....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. I'd rather drown.

He continued to talk about the program they have where as long as the student has a 3.0 they would be accepted to Columbia's School of Engineering and would graduate with a B.A, in Physics and a B.S. in a wide range of engineering fields. He also told us that he thought everyone of us was extrememly bright and could guarentee us scholarships should we choose to change schools and majors. (I guess 31/60, 41/60 and 20/70 on physics test qualifies me as bright.) No offense, but he was telling this to the people at Duke, Cornell and Boston College. Hell even my school is tons better than this place.

Horrah for Shadowing!

It's amazing that after only about 8 hours of shadowing I feel like I've already seen such a wide variety of patients. I've seen people that have dropped 45 lbs. weights on their feet and breaking every metatarsal. (And not having it looked at for over 24 hours) I've had a little old lady come in with these ridiculous clear plastic shoes that she want turned into customized orthopedic shoes. I've had someone cry once they heard that their shoulder was probably going to need surgery to fix and that is would only be 80% better at best. Then there was the very odd hippie couple that had a million and one questions about a broken heel surgery and then decided they wanted a second opinion. There was the single mom with the baby who had a "bent" wrist but didn't have the insurance to pay. (They were taken care of free of charge.) Oh I love shadowing so much. Too bad that I don't think the doctor feels the same way about someone extra being in his way. Oh well, this is what I have to do and I'm not taking prisoners.

Freaking Global Warming Son of a Bitch

So CNN.com has reported that the world is now the hottest it had been in 400 years and they chalk it up to global warming...wait no now they're saying the past 2000 years. My question is, "WHY THE FUCK WAS IT THIS HOT 400/2000 YEARS AGO WHEN THERE WERE NO CARS?!?!?!?!?!" They say that past warming trends were due to volcanic eruptions and increased solar fluctuation. Last time I checked a volcano just recently erupted and oh yeah there was Mt. St. Helena. Duke also just did a study on recent solar energy intake and it's relation to the recent increases in SST (sea surface temperature), one of the main hypothesis to why we've been having more and stronger hurricanes. Oh, wait a second. Only the North Atlantic basin has had that pattern of hurricanes.... The actual average number of hurricanes has remained constant across the globe. Silly scientist should be calling it USA Warming, duh. Regardless, there was a solid correlation between the increased solar activity and increased SST. But I doubt they're connected in anyway. Oh yeah, and thousand and thousands of years ago (i forget the specific time period name) when the CO2 levels were very high one would think there would have been a pattern of climate conditions that we claim global warming causes now, like El Niño. But I guessed Global Warming has changed it's mind since then since there was actually a higher frequency of La Niña back them.

I'm off to drive my $50/tank car until there is no oil left on the Earth, and I'm going to love every second of it.

Well It's Over Before It Began

Today the Chair of the Environmental Science department at my school sent out an e-mail about how good the Al Gore Global Warming movie was. Well, ya'll don't know this about me yet but I don't buy into the accepted theory of global warming. For a while now I've supressed my beliefs in fear of being blacklisted from the School of Science but this was the last straw. So I wrote a letter about how I didn't think it was fair that the anti-global warming theories are never mentioned in class. The e-mail was respectful and I was "cool." Regardless, I'm sure that the science department will disown me. I probably should have done this after getting all my LoR from them. Oh, well.

Why DO instead of MD?

A commenter asked this question and I felt that it deserved more than a comment answer.

Number one reason why: Because if there were TWO Dr. Gregory House, MDs the world would probably collapse upon itself. I'm doing it for the goodness of mankind.

The first way I heard about osteopathy was from my mom who knew our old babysitter's daughter went to some kind of different med school where she wasn't a MD, but she had all the same privileges. She also mentioned that it might be easier to get into this type of school than an MD. So, I'm not going to lie. The initial reason I was drawn to osteopathy was because it was suppose to be easier. (I'll wait for the room to stop booing and hissing before I continue)

I then did my research on osteopathy to figure out what it really was. What I found amazed me. How could there be this type of profession that was exactly the same as a MD-doctor that so few people knew existed? As I read further about the founding of osteopathy I seemed to agree more and more with their philosophy about treating the cause than the symptoms. Then there was this part that looked a little like voo-doo. OMM. But once I learned more about it it made more and more sense to me. Keeping things in the body in their correct places should help the body run optimally. My dad then told me about this doctor that his entire office goes to for all of their back and neck problems and that they were kind of like this doctor's cult following. Turns out that he was a DO.

Lastly, I feel that the medical philosophy of osteopathy most similarly resembles what I love about medicine. I like that symptoms are seen as pieces of a puzzle of a bigger problem and that it's not always the most obvious answer. I like how osteopathy sees the connection of all the parts of the body and that one part is not independent of another. I know that now a days both osteopathy and allopathy (MD) recognize and address this when teaching but I feel that it's more innate in osteopathy.


Now it's time to get back to Physics.
ACK!

2 Down. 8 to Go.

Physics is going by reasonably quickly. Although, that's not really going to matter if I don't step my game up a bit. I got a 31/60 on my first test. In the other class evidently the class average on tests are like 30% and if you have a test average of 60% you'll get an A; so I don't really know what to expect grade-wise. I miss the days when professor would just make fair tests. I won't say that I'm that surprised by my grade because I really didn't know what to expect his test to look like, but now I know how to study for them. Hopefully this will lead to better grades.

Lab seems to be going okay though. The labs are fairly easy and the computer does most of the work. Plus he doesn't make us write lab reports since we have lab twice a week. I don't know how I'm doing on the questions because he hasn't handed anything back yet.

My lab partner is a pretty good guy. He always seems to know what the deal is with the labs, which is excellent because before we start the lab I'm always a little slow. I make up for it though with my Excel skills. He's never used Excel before and we have to use it for every lab so I pull my own weight. But I seem to have another one of those lab partners who wants to get out of there as fast as possible. Now don't get me wrong I don't like lab anymore than other people but if all we have to do is add a weight to a block then why do we have to fake results? My Chem lab partner last semester was the same way. She was much worse than this guy about rushing everything and freaking out if things weren't moving quickly. She would sometimes want to leave things until next time even though I knew that would just delay us later on. So I being the tool that I am would insist that we stay a little later than the average group and get it done right. Once again though she was a little more on top of what was going on in lab than I was.

Lab seems to be a bit of a weak area for me. My first lab ever was my freshman Bio2 class. That was probably the biggest waste of time in terms of what they had us do. (Stare at a tank with a fish in it and wave pieces of paper at it? Wtf^>!>!) Plus it was impossible to write a lab report for the woman since she never said what we were supposed to explain. I also had never written a lab report in my life before this class and she just assumed that we all knew how to so that sucked. Chem1 lab was just a blur to me along with the rest of that class. I don't remember what the hell happened in that. Bio1 lab I enjoyed but blew at the practicals up time. The prof. had a slide fetish and I'm absolutely horrible at examining slides. Chem2 lab was fine cause I had a good partner. My lab reports still blew though. I really just don't like writing them and put little effort into them. I'm going to have to work on that for next year.

The other day in recitation I was making some small talk with the other premeds. I asked DukeGirl about some of the classes she’s taken. She said the first semester of Orgo isn’t bad, which is consistent with what other people have said also. When I asked her whether she had taken “micro” she looked at me like wtf is micro. Worst. Bio Major. Ever. Then I asked if she had taken Immunology and she said it was a graduate level class at Duke. I’m not gonna lie; that was a little bit of an ego booster for me. BCboy told me that he has taken it and that it was also a pretty tough class for him as well, which also made me feel better about myself.

Tomorrow I'm going to my brother's high school graduation. I was never a fan of his school because it cost so much money to go to but he never did any work. Also he went to school with a lot of uber rich people, which skewed his view of what life is really like. For instance when I told him that I don't plan on joining a country club when I get older he thought I was nuts. I then pointed out to him that none of my friends belong to country clubs and they all live in our town. He's in for a big shock once he goes to college, which coincidently is also my school. I'm so upset that he got into my school I can't even tell you. He's in for a shock when he actually has to do work. I can't wait. Some may think I'm a bad older brother for being happy about the transitional shock he's going to go through. But if you knew him then you would be happy that he's finally going to get slapped in the face by reality. Although, he is going to be a business major so there is a slight possibility that he never does have to do work in college either. (That's a whole other topic for me to talk about one day)

PS - I don't hate MDs. Any remarks made about them are with love. :-)

666-Satan Has Taken the Form of Radians

Today in Physics we had our first test and I have good news. There wasn't any calculus to be found at all!

The bad news: my calculator was set to give answers in radians and I didn't know how to fix that until after the test.

Regardless, I'm pretty sure the way I tried to solve the questions was wrong...Oh, wait this just in: After consulting with my notebook it looks like I was dead on.

Awesome.....Akndlfnasodnfvklwdngbrnw
I just sent my professor an e-mail, but like every time I try to send important e-mails through my school's e-mail service I'm sure it won't really be sent.

Why do med schools put me through this? Actually the better question is: Why do I put myself through this?

I was just reading a blog on my beloved studentdoctor.net about this person who was doing his IM intern rotation at Johns Hopkins and I seriously thought he was going to kill himself because of it. Evidently the hospital was completely ignoring the new work hour regulations and he was working 34+ hours shifts and consequently almost killed someone. From what he said though, regardless of the hospital ignoring the regulations IM is one of the more demanding residencies. I always thought it was the opposite...

So, I pose another question to myself. Why do I want to go into the field that's going to kill me?

Everyone keeps telling that I'm crazy for putting myself through this but what else am I going to do. It's pretty undeniable that bio/medicine is what I really like and I already know that I hate the business world. So that leaves me with.....lawyer? yeah right. teacher? well that's probably going to happen since I'm going to fail physics....screw my med school application...and have nothing else to do with a B.S. in Biomedical Science. (In psychology we call this chain of thoughts the Distorted Thought Process, “catastrophizing”.)

Hmmm, psychology. You see there's a field in which I excel. The only problem is that I'm not terribly interested in it. The science isn't "hard" enough for me. Well maybe when I'm teaching at my high school I'll learn to love psychology and go into that.

Ugggggghhhhhhh... ::breath:: ::play Michelle Branch:: Okay, I feel a little better. The tests are non-cumulative including the final so I'll just start doing better on everything. It's great that all I have to do is say "I'll do better," and it'll come true. What's that you say? That's not how it works? Shit.

On a funnier note I was "that guy" in class today. We were talking about speed of objects in relation to other objects. He had just finished the topic and asked if there were any question.

Yes, I had a question but did I really want to risk him going into a tangent? It may never end... and what about the social repercussions. The class would think that I was "that guy." Until that point of was just the guy who didn't talk to anyone and I was fine with that. (In fact, that's what the majority of the class is. I love it.) But no I just couldn't help myself...

"Is anything in the universe completely stationary?"

And like the dog that chased the cat with the white stripe down its back I realized this was a terrible idea. And whispered to the class "I'm so sorry." Most people just turned around and laughed and one person said "curiosity kill the cat." So I guess I'm no the longer the loner anymore. I'm the cat.

Meow.

I Now Know Why People Hate Smart People

God this class is so annoying. All day the professor just keeps proving all these formulas using calculus. That's great and all but he doesn't do any examples showing us how to use the calculus methods to answer questions>!dflnqwdgfnw;kdgknv

Then in recitation when we're doing practice problems the TA (who btw is a moron) just shows us how to answer the problems using the non-calc equations. So how is someone who isn't use to doing calculus suppose to know how to answer the questions using calc?

The worst part about all of this is that my class is filled with a bunch of braniacs. We have the chem and math majors who get all horny over calc and then we have the girl from Duke who is above memorzing formulas (there are only three...) and would rather just derive the answer. Well that's great for them and everything but once again WHAT ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE ONLY TAKEN CALC 1?!?!?! I feel terrible for the girl who has only taken pre-calc because I don't know how she can follow what's going on in class. The class doesn't even have a prereq. of Calc I so how can they force us to use calc to answer the questions????

We have a test on Tuesday and I have no idea what kind of problems are going to be on it. The TA claims that my professor is an easy grader, but I don't think I buy it. I'm probably just going to end up solving the problems using the equations instead of proving the answers using calc. I mean he's already proved to us that the equations work by using calc so why does he need me doing it? I mean what's the purpose of developing the equations if you're not even going to let me use them?!?!?!?!?

Bah. I'm def not enlightening these people to D.O.-hood because they don't deserve to work with normal people.