True Story(?): Mother Knows Best

My 12 year old sister and mom went to battle today about what she should wear to the Hannah Montana concert tonight. My mom asked how dressed up she should be. To be quite honest, I don't think it makes a damn difference. I remember being young and having my mom over dress me for some Nickelodeon concert/game show thing when I was younger. And even when I was 9 I knew I was over dressed. My uncle then interjected telling us to "take it easy" and "mother knows best." I bit my tongue from saying anything, although I resented being spoken down to like that when I'm almost 22 years old.

Two minutes later what do my mom and uncle start talking about? How "crazy" their mother is, and how she has "no idea what she's talking about."

It's funny how my mom is constantly mad at me about how I treat her, but at the same time she's still doing the same thing with her parents. It would seem that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Snobby Geckos

First let's start with one of my favorite Geico Commercials:


Yesterday was the annual family Christmas Party, where the 17 cousins exchange their Secret Santa Gifts. I also exchanged gifts with my aunt. I don't really know how we came about exchanging gifts, as opposed to me giving gifts to any other aunt or uncle, but it came to be. It turned out to be Snob-a-riffic. I got The Film Snob's Dictionary. And I gave her this great Threadless tee.

The snobbery didn't end there though. Today I was reunited with my Literature and Music Snob counterpart. We went to Borders, because Barnes and Noble is far too mainstream with their Starbucks and all. I was looking for Paste magazine for my dad, since he seemed to enjoy the free ones that magically started coming to our house. He's getting a subscription to it. I also got him a subscription for The Economist. So that filled my Music and World Affairs snobs quota of the day. I also got myself some magazines; GQ, Men's Health and Skeptic, which helped fill my Health, Hygiene, Style and General Intellectual quota in one great sneer. (And consequentially my Gay quota too)

We then decided to head over to Blockbusters to make fun of the movies for rental, and possibility get one if by some slim chance we saw something we liked. While there I proved that my "gay-movie-dar" is significantly stronger than my normal gaydar. At the sight of the cover of Amnesia: The James Brighton Enigma I can be quoted saying, "What, he woke up and had to come out of the closet all over again?" My friend then looked at the back cover and told me it was about someone who wakes up remembering only that he's gay. I'm truly amazing. This can be added to my list of super powers. My other one is being able to convince others that I'm right, even when I insist to them that I'm not sure and could be totally wrong. Unfortunately for those people, I'm normally right, in the sense that I'm wrong...

We ended up renting Spider-Man3. You may think that this goes against my movie snob senses - another power on the list - but really it didn't. The reasons I chose this were multi-fold. 1. I hadn't seen it yet, and had to finally know if MJ died. *CROSS FINGERS* 2. I heard it was terrible and thought it would be fun to make fun of it throughout the entire thing. 3. My friend is in love with Spider-Man and cried at how bad it was after seeing it in theaters. I thought this posed a great chance to get back at him for harassing me at how bad the third X-Men (my love) was.

Blockbuster fucked with me though. When I opened the DVD case I was shocked to see that no, not Spider-Man3 was there, but something equally terrible. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Enraged, I did my best Tina Fey impersonation as described by my friend. Fuming in the car I thought of what I would say to the obviously self-loathing Blockbuster employee. "How did you not notice the wrong movie in the case when you opened it to put my receipt in there? Were you angry at me because I was renting that movie? Cause I'll have you know that I'm 5x's the movie snob you are, regardless of your girth. Did you think it would be funny? Cause there is NOTHING funny about I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry!" But instead I continued with the Tina Fey impersonation and stood in line waiting to get a substitute copy, swearing under my breath.

The outcome? Yes, it was indeed one of the stupidest movies of all time, and regret picking it over Ocean's 13 - prime chance for some eye candy. Firstly, Thomas Hayden Church is a terrible, terrible actor. Every scene he seemed to grow increasingly more confused as to what he was suppose to do. How about this idea: act. I now understand why he was casted for the role of the failed actor in Sideways, because it didn't require acting.

It wasn't all his fault, though. His character Sandman is innately stupid. A guy falls into a pit of sand, where what can only be assumed to be radioactive beams are spun around him, the actual target being the sand. Through some nice graphics the nucleotides which previously constructed his DNA are replaced with sand. Why the models of DNA that I've made with sand have never become sub-par acting villains I'll never understand. Another thing, WTF was the point of that experiment. What were those scientists hoping to gain from shooting radioactive beams at sand? Radioactive sand? WTF is radioactive sand good for? Okay, I'll stop trying to make sense of a comic book plot.

Another thing to note: People with high self-esteem, and have a way with the ladies do know look like this. Peter Parker is by no means an exception.

However, I was successful in keeping myself amused by mocking the movie throughout its duration, and consequently making my friend miserable.

That's all for now. I hope everyone has some very festive Politically Correct Days!

Dear State DMV

Thank you for making it absurdly easy to change my address. You were faster, and saved me more than calling Geico! I'll work on getting you a funny British reptile. You deserve it.

-DW

Developments

Evidently my family was dropped from our auto insurance company. How did this happen? Through sheer team effort.

1. I was in a car accident almost two(?) years ago. I wanted to link to that post, but for some reason I can't find it... Let me jog your memory. They turned across two lanes, hit me, didn't speak english, and of course wasn't licensed.

2. My dad was recently in a car accident (and I suspect more on record...)

3. My brother has been pulled over twice and has points on his license (I suspect more. And he's only been legal to drive for 1 year 3 months)

So now I'm getting my own plan cause it's cheaper, and I'm lucky enough to have my brothers on on it under me. Super. There goes that driving record.

This has helped me plan to get a job as soon as I can, so I can become totally independent from my family. It's just a matter of deciding which grandparents to live with. :-/

Observations from the Library

Girls, don't take this the wrong way. This is not me judging you as a slut, or trashy, or what not based off your clothing.

But...

Wearing just an Under Armour top without a sports bra makes you look like a hoozy. And if you people out there are saying, "But what if she went for a run!?" That's fine. But you're obviously not going for any run in HIKING BOOTS.

Finals Week

Tomorrow I'm taking my Vertebrate Physiology test. Thank God it's not cumulative. I can't even imagine what that test would be like. Oh wait, exactly like any standardized test taken in medical school, except a 1000x's harder. I'm basically destined to get a B in that class. Not the end of the world, but not that extra boast needed to make a case to get off the wait list at that one school. I'm a B student, always have been, always will be, regardless of what it is I'm doing.

I have my Bioethics final on Friday. Haven't really studied for that yet, and I'm kind of behind on my reading. Should make cramming tomorrow interesting. Again, I'm destined for a B in that class. Which is kind of ridiculous because I'm really very good when it comes to applying ethical theories and critical thinking. I really am so much smarter than my grades show, but no one knows that unless they know me. Everyone in my classes comes to me for the answers like I'm the genius, but they all get better grades than me.

For instance, this girl was asking me to explain the trans-pulmonary pressure difference caused during inhalation. So I'm explaining what the pressure difference really means in terms of (force from particles)/(unit space). As you increase the volume of the inter-pleural space, you decrease the pressure, thus the force on the walls of the membrane. This then allows for the pressure (force) in the alveoli to have a greater effect against the membrane, aka stretch it until the force on both sides is equal. By increasing this volume of the avleovi you decrease the pressure, which allows air from outside to move down the pressure gradient from outside, blah, blah, blah. She still doesn't understand this and says, "I'll just memorize it." She will. And she'll get a better grade than me. Memorizing will get you anywhere in school. Sucks for me! When it comes to applying the information to practical use I would put money down that I would be the best of my year. Have I convinced you that I smart year? No? That's okay, none of the med schools believe me either. Fucking Grades.

Rant over.

So anyway, that's basically why I have a hard time getting into medical school. Cause I'm the shittiest memorizer ever. Comparative Anatomy is going to be a BLAST next semester.

And Jen T. - I don't know what the snow belt even refers to. The lake effect area around the great lakes? Needless to say, no, I'm not from around there.

Soon grades will be coming. I will send my updated transcript to whoever cares to see it, and the final real plans will be made. No more of this impulsive speculation bullshit. I think I'll be most likely spending the summer taking biochem and venepuncture/EKG certification programs. And then afterwards getting a job as a medical assistant and doing that for the year, while applying to PA school. I'm starting to think being a PA would be better for me. Medical school just sounds sooo miserable. And I could easily live the lifestyle I want on a PA income, and I could move on with my life soooo much faster, since PA school is two years and NO RESIDENCY!!!!

Peace.

Snooooooow

Dear Dr. Wannabe's Academic Institute,

20 minutes notice is NOT sufficient heads up time that classes are cancelled, since some people leave MORE than 20 minutes before class starts when there is inclement weather. Get your head in the game, so that next time this is avoided.

Yours truly,
DW

PS - Thank you for the snow day.

Family History Catching Up

Last Friday I went out to the local watering hole with a few of my fellow academic colleagues. At the end of the night we proceeded to go outside and catch a cab to our respective homes. Unfortunately, there wasn't a cab in sight. In hindsight I'm SURE there would have been another one had we waited, oh, 2 minutes. But alas, I was out with people on the track team. And since I don't live more than a mile from the bar they decided we would run home because it was like 20 degrees outside. I was totally against running because 1. I can easily handle the cold (no, not because of my beer over coat), 2. I didn't feel like making a scene by having 5 white preppy guys running through the ghetto, 3. running without arch supports is a bad idea for someone with terribly flat feet.

Needless to say, we ran. Within the first 10 steps I immediately regretted this. But I toughed it out. I generally have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and lets not forget that my pain threshold was most likely elevated due to the nights activities. By the time we got to my apartment I could barely stand. My left knee (lateral) was killing me.

The next couple of days were pretty rough. I wore my arch supports everywhere I went - including my Science Prom which was the next day. Boy were those dress shoes snug. By Monday or Tuesday I wasn't having that much pain anymore, and today I had absolutely no pain at any point of the day. Last night I even did some weightless weight-training (that's not a typo) and there was no problem at all. Today I hit the gym and started doing my typical running routine. If I had to sum that up in one word, I would choose, "ouch." If I had 4 words at my disposal I would say, "THAT MOTHER FUCKING SMARTS!!!" I decided to nix the running and instead did a painless granny power walk for double the amount of time.

I decided to look up some possible diagnoses for my problem. I came to two likely problems. The better of the two is an IT-band irritation. The worse of the two a torn meniscus. There didn't seem to be any home tests to do to diagnosis an IT-band problem. But for the meniscus they said if you hold your hand against the sides of the knee and feel a "popping," it could be a meniscus problem. So I did such, and felt a definitive protrusion, which may be considered a "popping." To double check I did the same thing to my other knee, which doesn't hurt. Nothing. There is a definite difference between the knees.

This sucks.

My plan of action is to give it a full week of no high impact exercise, which is going to really piss me off, since I just got into this running thing. If the "popping" doesn't seem to improve, and/or running still hurts I guess I'll have to schedule an orthopedist appointment. But my school also has an athletic training program, and I know that there is a class in the Vertebrate Physiology lab tomorrow. I plan on going there after class pretending to do work in the lab and in passing ask them for their insight. I'm sure glad I struck up conversation with the instructor earlier in the semester.

As for the title of the post, my family on my dad's side has notoriously horrible knees and I very much take after my dad's side. Until now I never had any problems, which is probably due to the fact that I was all that much into sports when I was younger. Regardless, I guarantee the first words out of my mom's mouth is, "Yep, those are father's family's genes for you." She blames all biological problems on them. Personally I'd rather their issues than her side's.

Recap: CNN/You Tube Republican Debate

After watching the CNN/You Tube debate I'm now actually a Giuliani fan, instead of just picking him cause I agree with him the most. Also I realize that I despise Romney. I called him out on being the Kerry of the Republican Party. He didn't answer any of the questions definitively, which leads me to believe that he only says what people like to hear. I was also surprised that I didn't dislike Huckabee as much as I thought I would, but that's because he's a charming guy and didn't take a stance on anything either. I thought McCain did a good job of making/defending his points, but at the same time I don't think he ever talked about non-Iraq topics. Everything always seemed to come back to some war with him. Ron Paul I thought came off as a crazy, and he seems to think that everything in the world works out for the best when you have no laws, taxes, regulations or pose any external influence on anyone. Some of that I like in theory, but he's not practical. Thompson I didn't feel made a case for himself. He was just there, speaking occasionally, but I got no sense of who he was.

PS - Anderson Cooper is the man, and I thought he did a great job moderating, and calling candidates out when they weren't answering the questions.

I'm Crazy

I'm reconsidering getting some lame job after school, and now looking into MPH - Epidemiology.

I like the city selection that the schools are in (Boston, Seattle, NYC, Atlanta, Minnesota); Leaves open the opportunity to reapply (with something added to my application); I could get a job (CDC seems to have lots of openings).

The applications never end.

The effect of an 80 on a VP test

I'm accepting the fact that I'm a B student, and an overall only mediocre science student on the basis of grades. Where does this leave me?

I feel like there is something else that I'm suppose to do, simply because there must be something I excel at. I know I'm brighter than most (ha, right. keeping telling yourself that), but science is obviously not something that I'm exceptional at, relative to the other students.

Am I ignoring other possibilities because of the pressure I feel from the success of my friends?

Use Your Words

As I expected last night I had one of my crazy anxiety-induced dreams, where I have a hard time separating dream world from reality. I went to bed freaking out, worrying about how I was going to get certified in venipuncture. I then spent my night dreaming that I didn't know how to do it, couldn't learn to do it, had a hard time finding a job with the skill at hand. It was a bad night's sleep. I wish I were so crazy.

My final Add/Drop period started today. I was unsure whether I was going to be adding any classes because my advisor never told me whether First Aid/CPR was going to count towards my major electives. I finally had enough of his lack of communication and called him today asking. Evidently it was no problem and the chair of the department and told the registrar to allow it. Couldn't someone have notified me that the problem had be rectified? Whateves.

Spring 2008 - The End
Genetics w/ Lab
Comparative Anatomy w/ Lab
Animal Behavior
First Aid/CPR
Internship - Hospital Rotations
Karate

I'm Useless

I'm qualified for NOTHING.

My backup plan for next year when I reapply is to get a job as a medical assistant somewhere. Criagslist has a plethora of listings, but they almost all require experience in venipuncture, something I will not have learned in school. How do I go about it.?I found a school that has a 90 hour certification program. Does that cut it?

MO: Not living at home next year.

Rockstar Awesome

Some people claim to get signs from the universe that it's time to do something. Others think you're just more selectively sensitive to your environment to things that are on your mind. Regardless, this played after Battlestar Galactica: Razor made me happy. (something that has been happening more often)

Patting Myself on the Back

I'm going to talk about how great I think I am, because I'm sick of only thinking about how terrible I am at school.

I've recently realized that I'm a fairly well adapted person. I'm pretty good at keeping things in perspective and staying objective. I'm good at analyzing myself and calling myself out on certain things. This came up because I was counseling one of my friends - something I seem to do a lot. People come to me to talk, and I'm there to talk. I like talking to people and helping them gain some objective perspective on the issues in their lives. Some people are a little more resistant to acknowledging reality than others, but I normally come out making my point.

Another thing that seems to help is that I come off very non-judgmental, which isn't to say that deep down I am. I normally don't judge people by their interest or activities, or at least I don't make a moral judgment... I think this is why I get away with saying whatever comes to mind. People know that I say it not in a judging way. I'm just telling it like it is.

I often keep thinking that I should be going into psychology. Psychology was the major I was debating going into college, but it seemed to theoretical for me. I liked the harder science of biology. But when I look at what I'm naturally better at, it's always psych. I very easily relate myself to other people and help them interpret their thoughts or feelings. I'm very good at helping people communicate to themselves what they're feeling, or why they are. This isn't meant to make it sound like I tell them what they're feeling. I help them collect their thoughts and see what's really going on. I'm extremely introspective, but with an extrospective view point. Does that even make sense? I think I mean I'm good at organizing my (and others') thoughts and looking at them from an outside point of reference. Obviously, this doesn't apply to my written skills. To bad I don't think I have the interest to sit through a ton of psychology classes.

On a totally different note - I kind of wish I was more of a bitch when it came to money. I don't ask people for money if I know they're going to complain about it. I never have a problem tipping more than my fair share, and I in general don't get that worked up over the possession of my capital. Some people may say that I have no appreciation for money and take it for granted, since I was fortunate enough to never have to worry about it. But I honestly think that I just don't allow money to become that important to me. A career in medicine was never about the money for me. I just wanted to do something with my time that I didn't hate.

It's funny when my brother and I compare career goals. He's all about going into business and making money by schmoozing with people. I, on the other hand, refuse to schmooze. I abhor it. He would be disappointed with himself if he was making less than 500k by the time he's in his 30's. I on the other hand think I would be perfectly comfortable with making just around 80-100k. I might be fooling myself when I make this comment though, since I wasn't raised with this kind of total income. To be quite honest I have no idea how much money my family makes. We don't buy flashy cars, TVs or vacations, but at the same time I don't hear anything about financial woes. That's all I'm looking for. Enough to have a home with the basic amenities, and the occasional budget vacation. Expensive cars and meals are nice, but to be quite honest driving my car isn't something I really look to for enjoyment and my self-esteem doesn't need to be boasted by a status symbol car. Tons of money just seems to bring problems than it's worth.

???

I wish I had something new and exciting to post about, but I do not.

How about a Question and Answer session? Not like there are really all that many of you that read this, but whateves.

Ha ha. Watch this not get any responses.

Disclaimer: don't bother asking any identifying questions


Oh, and as for the new banner: Every political compass test I've ever taken has without fail said I was an absolute moderate. I'm against socialized health care, for civil unions, against social security, for gun laws, against tax increases, for reformed immigration laws, against current welfare system, for school vouchers, indifferent to Iraq. In the end I think I'm always just slightly more conservative.

This makes it particularly hard to pick a person whose views I agree with, but after thorough consideration I've come to support Rudy. I was actually very surprised when I came to the conclusion, but our views align the best.

Want to know where I stand on certain issues? ASK AWAY!

Poor and Fat

Lately, I never seem to be able to allow myself the time to go to the gym or food shopping. WTF

Oh wait, I just went to Boston for 48 hours last weekend. I guess the above statement is a bit of an exaggeration.

Freaking Macy's Family....

Today blows...

Last night I was up until 4AM editing my research paper on embryonic stem cell research ethics. I then proceeded to NOT set my alarm resulting in me NOT waking up for the class is was due for. I then run over to campus to give my paper to the professor, but like every professor when you need them he wasn't there. So I slipped it under his door and also e-mailed it to him. I then get home and find out that friend A is going to be much later arriving to my school than I thought. This causes friend B to be pissed that me for having to wait around even longer to go to Boston to visit friend C. While waiting for friend A I decide to go check my mail because I'm expecting the Popcorn Facotry gift from my grandma (love you gma!). It was there alright, right next to a rejection letter. Oh well, I'm not really expecting to get in anywhere anyway. Plus that school was my least favorite non-option.

With my luck I'm going to hit massive traffic on the way to Boston and my friends are going to banish me from their presence should I decided to tell them my latest news.

TTYL

Wish I Had a Drinking Habit

My mother is driving me to drink.

I don't even have enough time to elaborate. Freaking science...

Sidenote

I'm gay. Finally told people. Just thought I would share.

I'm still neurotic.

Limbo

I was put on the alternatives list. I don't even know what I'm suppose to do now. It says I can be accepted up until August 2008. Do they even take people off the list before the deadline dates? Should I be calling them regularly to see what my chances are looking like? I don't know what to do.

Tomorrow I have to call them and tell them that I want to be kept on the waiting list. I'm also going to tell them that they're my number one choice and that they would be receiving a deposit check as soon as I was accepted.

Ugh, I'm basically just going to put this out of my mind and hope and wait for some word from the other schools I applied to. Unfortunately though, my friend who sent in her application a couple of weeks after we has already gotten interview requests from schools I also applied to. This leaves me to believe that I will not be not be receiving any calls from them since I'm sure they're not going to run dry of good applicants to interview any time soon.

New Objective: Think up back up plan.

So Stupid

So evidently there are vaccines out for bacterial meningitis? This is news to me. I was still under the impression that vaccines were only for viruses.

<--- Stupid.

PS - still no word from the school. I'm slowly (read as: quickly) losing my mind.

Errrrrrrr

The school said that we should have our letters of rejection/acceptance by the end of the week. I haven't received one and according to SDN nor has anyone else. Unfortunately Monday is a holiday. Gonna have to stress out and dream about opening mail for the next 3 nights.

Lymphedema is the gross...

I just ate two whitecastle burgers and some curly fries. I then watched some of The Heaviest Man in the World on TLC.

Jesus Christ.
Excuse me while I throw up in the bathroom.

Buuuuurn

My super smart, perfect GPA, gunner student friend got a couple of interview requests. One of them happens to be for my initial first choice school, which is extremely close to my home town. She handed in her applications much later than I did. I haven't heard a word from the school. They only request secondaries from people they're going to interview. I guess this means I have one less secondary to write...

I'm a little discouraged, but only because this puts so much more pressure on me getting into the other school. Well, there is nothing I can do about it now. Just have to wait.

Oh, PS - I find out in less than two weeks

Again, High Hopes

I think the interview went well. I had been specifically applying to a Problem-Based Learning (PBL) pathway, and the majority of the questions seemed to make sure that you were well suited for it. The questions, as expected, were centralized around communication skills, ability to lead a group and handle stress. I'm pretty confident my answers made me come off as a good fit for such a program.

The only question they really grilled me on was "why osteopathic medicine?" I told them how initially I was attracted to it because I agreed with their treating philosophy, but now it has more to do with the emphasis on primary care and closer and more personalized relationships I've seen osteopathic physicians have with their patients as opposed to the allopathic physicians. The "bad cop" then continued to say but why osteopathic medicine? It sounded like he wanted me to start hating on allopathic physicians, but I wouldn't go down that road. I simply stuck with what I said. I really don't know what else there is to say.

They asked how I like to communicate with people and give an example. I told them that when speaking with people I always like to actively engage them. When with new people I ask lots of questions and try to relate myself to them because I think it brings us to a quick level of comfort. I then supported this with a story of how I turned the quietest person I ever met into quite the talker, at least when around me. And that I'm able to reach a lever of conversation I haven't seen him have with many other people that he's known for as long. On top of this, we also have very few similar interests. I then also related my skills to patient contact. I told them how I find patients to feel very comfortable around me and that I'm often able to get plenty of information out of them without them possibly even realizing.

When it came to my leadership skills I told them that I don't see the job of a team leader to tell the group what to do. I see it as a job to coordinate an effort. I also went on to say how I think it's important to, again, engage everyone by asking them their opinion of how to go about solving a problem and then come to an agreement on the best option. I stressed the importance of having a diverse pool of perspectives. I was also asked how I would handle a disagreement within a group. I said you can't just throw out someone's ideas just because you don't agree with them. You have to go through the reasoning behind their conclusion even if it means going through it in excruciating detail. They kind of grilled me a little on this one too asking what do you do if the person will absolutely not compromise. I mean what are you suppose to do in that case? I said I generally end up just going along with the other person's plan until I see it going just slightly off course and am then quick to point out the flaws manifesting into reality.

After the interview we sat through a two hour PBL session. This. Was. Awesome. The intensity of everyone trying to figure out what was going on in the case was simply overwhelming. There were 8 people in the group, plus one facilitator and easily 40+ 5'' thick textbooks covering the desk. I was also completely blown away by the knowledge that these early OMS II's had. The whole time I felt like I was listening to a foreign language. I mean I'm by no means medically illiterate, but this was like me listening to spanish and getting excited when I recognize a phrase. And the jumping between subjects every second was awesome. Learning each subject in relation to the others makes so much more sense to me. One second they're going through lab results, then they're flipping through their histology atlas to identify a lung tissue sample, then they're talking about the physiology of the lungs and what could be leading to this disorder, which then brings them to their microbiology and pathology text books to identify the causative agent. Then when they realize it's a common bacteria they look for what gave this opportunistic organism the upper hand. So they looked at other symptoms that probably weren't so much caused by the disease, as much as signs of lifestyle choices which gives an idea of what the patient is at a greater risk of getting. I couldn't believe how much I enjoyed it. I thought sitting through the class was going to be the worse part, but it was easily the best.

Sorry Dr. Panda, but you're dead wrong about PBL.

Basically I now have this school as my number one choice, (and funny enough my only possible current choice!) even though I won't have access to the rotation sites I want, but that's fine. My mom and friend both said I need to write a thank you e-mail to the dean of admissions or someone like that. I'm normally completely against this cause I despise all forms of ass kissing, but I think I should really get the point across that PBL is something I'm committed to and that after that meeting it unexpectedly went to the top of my list.

Thoughts anyone?

Pulling Out All the Tricks

This will probably be the last time that I post before my interview on Monday. After reading the summaries of the interviews at this school on studentdoctor.net I'm feeling much more relaxed. Everyone goes on and on about how they try so hard to make you feel comfortable, and that they don't have any tricky questions. Granted, these summaries are all from previous years, but from what I see the questions seem to stay the same year to year. The questions they ask seem to be centered around leadership and communication skills.

One thing I'm not looking forward to: it's 90˚F and hummmmmid at the school. Here at my current school it's just finally started to become crisp and cool. Fall is probably my favorite season. Where the medschool is I don't think it ever goes below 75˚F. Whatever, for 2 years I can totally deal. (The last two years I think can be spent rotating mostly where ever you please)


Well that's all I really have to say. Keep your fingers crossed!!! (Where the hell did that tradition come from?)

In hopes of forcing myself to work out I sold my credit card's soul to the people at Planet Fitness for the next 12 months. I wonder if that tactic is really going to get me to go to the gym...

I signed up for an upper body orientation thing for tomorrow. I did this is hopes that if I'm shown what to do, then I won't feel awkward doing it later. I think I just have to get over the fact that there are other people around me when I work out and trust that it's really a JUDGMENT FREE ZONE! **stick fist out with thumb up here**

Oh motherfucker, I just read the first of what I'm sure are many fine-print restrictions. I got a "black card membership" which claimed to allow access to all other planet fitness locations, which was good cause there is a planet fitness back home. But no, oh no, you're only allowed to visit non-home locations 10 times a month. We'll see how closely they follow that stipulation when the summer rolls a round.

I forgot to mention when my interview is scheduled for.

It's on Monday Sept. 24 from 8:00AM-2:00PM.

Rainy Mondays Are the Best!!!

It's raining today. I woke up around 8:30AM, but my first class of the day isn't until 6:30PM. I have absolutely nothing planned but I couldn't fall back asleep.

I go on my computer for a little while not doing much of anything, as usual. All of a sudden I get a phone call from a very strange phone number. I have absolutely no idea who this could be. I pick it up and listen carefully to who it is because I have terrible listening comprehension when it comes to being on the phone. "Hi, this is H****** from *insert medical school here*"

Jesus Christ, that's actually one of the schools I applied to. How will I break it to them that they have the wrong person?

I have to be honest. As soon as I realized they were calling from a school I immediately thought, wow they really call people to tell them they're rejected - that's interesting.

So I'm basically just going to be giddy all day and make huge slashes in the puddles outside.

It was a really good thing I couldn't go back to sleep.
w00t!

[Edit: Addition] One more thing... 1. Someone reassure me that they don't request interviews just to reject people, 2. I need some good anti-nausea medication - that set in real fast

Stressful Lunch

You would think that after being in a foreign country for 3 weeks I would feel comfortable ordering food in its corresponding American eatery. But this is not the case. Today I went to lunch at an Italian deli and I was actually more worried about making a fool of myself there than any place I ordered food in Italy.

That is all.

To Prove to Dad That I'm Not a Fool

I'm back at school. I've been back since Tuesday. I thought that I was going to be able to plug my cable modem and internet into the wall and have it work. How silly am I? Even though I never canceled my subscription they still need to come to my new apartment to "turn things on," whatever that means. I don't remember anyone needing to turn anything on last year. They're not able to come until WEDNESDAY. I think this is a little ridiculous considering I went to see them on Tuesday. Oh well. Until then I'll just watch Battlestar Galactica on my laptop. I'm so happy I bought that on DVD this summer. NEEEEEEERD

Oh, I also have finished ALL of my secondaries. I have nothing to do now but sit and wait. But I don't think they tell you if they're not going to request an interview, so I could be waiting a very long time for nothing to arrive.

Classes start on Tuesday and I'm really pumped. Just in case you all forgot what I was taking this semester:

Vertebrate Physiology + Lab -- HORRAY LABS WITH MICE!!
Science, Medicine and Ethics -- I'm going to rock the socks off ethics, again
Human Nutrition -- An easy "A" 300 level science course? Who would have thought?
Ireland: History and Politics -- Finally going to learn something about my heritage (btw - I'm 100% Irish)

Back in the Saddle???

If anyone could go into my mind and help sort out my issues that would be great.

Over the past couple of days I've been looking at PA salaries, job opportunities at different types of hospitals, rules and regulations by state, etc. All this accomplished was make me want to be a doctor again.
God damn it.

When it comes down to it I want the autonomy that comes with being a physician. I don't want to have to run everything I do past someone else. Uggggh.

The french guy asked me if I had a 40 MCAT score and a 4.0 GPA would I still be thinking about PA school. The truthful answer is probably not. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't. He also asked if I've truthfully done everything I could in school. Have I done everything? No, because you can always do more. Have I worked my fucking ass off? Yes. I truly think that my GPA will be better after this upcoming year. And since I'll be taking a total of 6 science courses I can really swing that sci-GPA in the positive direction.

So where does this leave me? I suppose I'm gong to give these applications all I've got and even give them a shot next year if need be. Screw the one school that rejected me. They're new and need a "safe" incoming class. The other schools might be more willing to take a chance with me. I'm doubtful though. I'm still foreseeing the future being me not getting in anywhere and applying next year. But I think I'm okay with that. I won't apply to PA school this year. Next year I'll get a medical assistant job, make some money, and apply again. Ready....break!

Any bets for when when I flip flop next?

Also, viva la france! (en español)



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Now playing: Corinne Bailey Rae - Put Your Records On
via FoxyTunes

A Moment of Mental Weakness

Ugh, I think I'm having second thoughts about med school. (the biggest second thought in my life) I think I want to be a PA.

I want to finish this year with the easier classes and fully set for applying and getting into PA school. I want to then take my year off while applying to PA schools next year and get a job as a medical assistant at some practice. Craig's list has lots of these jobs available in my area. And I'm actually well qualified for the jobs cause I have some clinical experience and can definitely do mundane diagnostic tests because of my lab experience.

But do I really want that? Should I finish the secondaries, which I think is just a waste of money at this point?

If I can't see myself applying to med school next year should I bother this year? I feel like this whole situation is a big hint that I should get out of medical school before it's too late. Cause what if I did by some slim chance got into one of my least desirable med schools? I don't even think I would want to go to them at this point. I've totally reconsidered going to school far from home. Well, that's not entirely true. Funny enough I would still go to Ireland, but that's not an option.

What is causing this breakdown? I think medical school might be a much bigger commitment than I anticipated. 4 more years of schooling is just starting to sink in. And then a minimum of 3 years of being a poor resident after that. I want to move on with my life; not wait till I'm 29 to start it.

Maybe I'll get my sanity back next time I talk to you all.

The First Rejection

Today I got my first letter telling me that because of my science-GPA (2.77) they would not be requesting me to fill out a secondary application. The good thing, they didn't let me waste my money because they had an exorbitant secondary application fee - about 4 times more than the average. The bad thing, this was the school that my advisor told me to apply to as a total backup. I'm basically giving away what school this was, but they've yet to have a graduating class. Needless to say, this is a huge blow to my hopes of getting in anywhere.

With this slap of reality I'm reevaluating what I should be doing with my life. Some of the questions I'm asking myself:

- Should I bother filling out the secondaries?
- Should I apply to PA school right now?
- Would I get into PA school?
- Should I even go into health care?
- If I didn't what would I do after graduation?

I'm thinking that I need to basically abandon the med school thing. And to be quite frank the idea of being poor for the next 7 years (min) doesn't please me. But this is me just trying to make myself feel better. I'm going to fill out the secondaries and send them in, but I'm not putting any hope into this. And I honestly don't think I'll be that upset anymore. Well, let me rephrase this. If I go to PA school as opposed to med school I won't be upset. At least, I don't think I will be.

So this brings us to our next step: Getting into PA school.

There are a couple of differences between med school and PA school requirements. One is that many more PA schools require biochem, than DO schools. Another thing that's different is that most PA schools require A+P (anatomy and physiology). I was planning on taking Vert. Phys. and Comp. Anatomy, which are the harder courses recommended by my school for the premeds. There are some PA schools though that request that you only take A+P instead of VP and CA. Also, some PA schools require crazy amounts of documented health care experience - some as high as 1000 hours. I'll be graduating with about 135 hours, but this is enough for plenty of schools. There is also the matter of my science GPA. There are plenty of schools that require that you have a 3.0 science GPA, which I still don't have. This could very well mean that I can't apply until next year, assuming that I can raise my science GPA. Taking the easier AP would def help this effort.

I think my best plan of action is to make a list of schools and record what each of their requirements are. I'll then evaluate whether I meet the requirements for enough schools without taking biochem. At this point I'm going to try my hardest to get into AP because getting a good grade is more important at this point than taking the seemingly more impressive class. Plus, is allots me me options.

I think I'm officially a pre-PA student.

Fracking Summer Jobs

I don't care for my summer job. I sit a grimy trailer and take tennis courts reservations, give kids mini golf tickets, and listen to every adult complain about the prices and general state of the facilities. It also pays really shitty. So I've started thinking about what I could do differently next summer.

No matter whether I get into a med school or not I'm going to have some meaningless summer job. And lately the hunger to go abroad has been eating away at me. This was probably sparked by the fact that at the last pool party I threw one of my guests brought her two friends from England. Ugh, Loooondon. Then it hit me - oww! - I could have a meaningless job in London for the summer!

I started to do some research and found a program called BUNAC that facilitates students getting Blue Cards and helping them find jobs and living accommodations. The thing that I find really scary is that most people don't find places to live and jobs until AFTER they get there. Participants are required to stay in some hostel for three days and it claims most people find jobs and places to live in that time period. But they do say participants find jobs, and the program seems to be very helpful with the whole progress by having a listings board at their building.

I don't know if I have the balls for this, but I'm going to attack the opportunity with the mindset that if plenty of other people have done this, then so can I. The thing I'm most worried about is meeting people. I want a job where I become friends with my coworkers and do stuff with them. I fear that I'll go to work and come home sitting alone everyday. I also would like to meet actual British people because as silly as that sounds none of my friends that came back from studying in London made friends with locals. So I need to find a job that college students also work. I assume that I won't be able to find a place to live with locales.

I feel like a talk about doing a lot of stuff, but don't actually do anything. But I mean I did go to Italy, and went on that trip to London by myself. I think I've proven to myself that I can handle traveling. I also talked about applying to Ireland for a while and I ended up doing that too. So I guess I am capable of doing this. So the current plan for summer of '08, either London or the Amazing Race. :-/

A Waste of 225 Dollars

I recently decided to bite the bullet and, on a partial whim, apply to Irish medical schools. I say partial because I had been considering it for a while, but was never completely decided as to whether I would or not. I then chose to just do it without fully thinking it out.

"Why," you may ask. Honestly, it's more or less why not. Going into college the number one thing I wanted to do was study abroad. You don't even understand. From my freshman year of high school I couldn't wait to study abroad in Australia. I can't fully describe how hurt I was to find out that I was never going to be able to because of CHEMISTRY AND ORGANIC CHEMISTRY. (no, I don't hold a little grudge... it's a huge one) I'm the master organizer and planner, and to see some of my friends go abroad without ever seeing how it would be effecting their graduating on time killed me.

I got over it eventually. I took my short trip to London and of course my recent trip to Italy. (which is unfortunately no more than a distant memory now) You know what this accomplished? Nothing more than make me even more bitter. Bitterness is something I really need get over. This is what the old woman at work keeps telling me everyday. She's right, I know this. But since when is bitterness ever logical?

So anyway, I filled the application and sent it in. It's a very simple process thanks to our friends at The Atlantic Bridge Program. But then today I decided to see what kind of information I could muster from SDN about the schools. Long story short, these schools are by no means easy to gain admission to. And no offense to our northern friends, but why the hell do so many more Canadians gain admission to these schools than Americans?

I'm not going to allow myself to think too much about these applications. This is mainly because I hear from these programs much later than the DO schools. (First notices come in late April/early March) So it's not like I'm banking much on them. I have a much better chance at gaining admission to a DO school than these Irish schools. It'll really be a last minute change of plan if I did get into them, which now that I think about it will probably cause a huge shock to my system. At first I was having slight panic attacks at the idea of going to school in another country, but I'm over that now - mainly because I probably won't be going anyway. I'm just going to have to continue getting my travels done in the more traditional vacationing style. I wonder how long it'll be before I have the time and financial stability to do that. Me thinks at least 20 years from now. Crap.

In other news my applications have finally been sent out to the schools from the application service. My letters of recommendation? Who the hell knows. I keep e-mailing my advisor/head of the committee but I never get any responses. I can't wait to hear what his reaction is when he hears about my applying to the Irish schools. He's probably going to think I'm crazy and wasting money. You know the more I think about it the more I realize I did just waste 225 dollars. Ugh, this is why I'm never impulsive. I always wind up regretting my impulsive decisions, hence the severe lack of them.




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Now playing: Amy Winehouse - Footballers Wife
via FoxyTunes

How I Know I'm Not a Sadist

Today I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. This annoys me enormously because anyone who knows me well can tell you that I brush for an obscene amount of time. Regardless, I don't have any real beef with going to the dentist. Now I can't remember the last time I had a filling done, but I don't have any horrible memories about having them done.

That changed today.

The dentist didn't do anything wrong, and the procedure didn't hurt. I just found myself surprisingly bothered by the noises. There were two main tones. A high pitched eeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee noise, and lower grumbling of the same type of noise. I personally didn't really mind the lower toned of the two, but the high pitched one killed me. That might also be because the only time I did feel something was during the higher pitch. It may have just been the vibrations, but I could have sworn I felt a tingle once - which prompted my going "uuurrrrrgh!"

I had been thinking about doing a dentistry internship next semester to fulfill my last requirement, but after this I think I would rather not know what is going on in my mouth. But what I do know is that I could never go into dentistry simply because of the sheer anxiety I would put people through.

Food: Love/Hate Relationship

I've recently decided to start working out and eating right with the goal of looking hawt. And by "hawt" I mean not being a gangly 6'4, 200lbs twig with sags. I'm sorry for that image. So for the past month or so I've been lifting - eww, I hate saying that - every other day and been doing high reps and increasing weight and decreasing reps with each set.

I've now started following the advice of a book that I bought quite a while ago. I'm finding it hard to see how its plan is going to work. It tells me that I should only do one set of the heaviest weight for a maximum of 10 reps. If I can do 10 reps, then I should add more weight. I know this is the general theory for putting on muscle mass, as opposed to endurance. I feel like that's not enough work, but I'm going to go with it. It also has me only working out every other day, which I know is common work out protocol per muscle group.

I'm also going to follow its diet plan, because as we all known diet is really 80% of the equation. Since I want to ultimately gain weight - targeting about 20lbs. - I need to eat more than I burn. How many calories does it require me to eat a day? 3700 Calories!!! I don't know if I'm capable of that. I don't think I even eat 2000 Calories a day. We'll see how it goes, but I'm worried that I'm just going to get fat.

From a scientific point of view it all makes sense, as far as I know. Keeping a constantly supply of carbs (which turn to glycogen) available to the body so that metabolism stays high, and the body doesn't go to the muscles for energy. And also just making sure that I get enough protein to repair the muscles after working out.

I guess this will be another thing that I update about. (Whether you like it or not) I swear if you fail me Men's Health I'm going to kill you.

Long and Bumpy Ride

How silly of me to think that just because my application was submitted things were going to go smoothly.

I submitted my application about a week ago and I had never seen the transcript status change. It didn't even say that they had received it. So I shot an e-mail over to them asking, more or less, "WTF?!?!" They responded today simply saying, "Thank you for the correction - your account has been updated."

How long had my stuff been sitting there in error?!?!?! How much time was wasted when my GPA could have been calculated??? Uggggggghh. I guess I'm going to keep a sharp eye on these people, and basically anyone who has anything to do with my getting into medical school.

I swear to God that if this application isn't sitting in a pile at each of the schools I've applied to by September 1 heads are going to roll. Hear that advisor??? GET THE GOD FORSAKEN RECOMMENDATIONS SENT!!!!

omgomgomg

A coach where I work got a little worked up over something I didn't think was that big of a deal. He came into the trailer I work in - it's worse than it sounds - and asked me what he thought the deal was with his doctor asking him to come in to talk about lab results. It was a regular physical blood workup and they they didn't say it was urgent or anything. He was convinced that he had leukemia. I tried to reassure him that if it were something like that then he would probably feel sick, or they would tell him to come in right away. I said that it was more likely something like high cholesterol or high blood sugar.

After he got off the phone he looked visibly shaken. You could hear it in his voice. I felt so bad for him that he was getting so upset about it. The nurse insisted that it was nothing terrible and that the doctor does check ups with patients after blood work all the time. He was still convinced of leukemia. I guess I can see where he was coming from because I was convinced that my blood work was going to say I was diabetic just a couple of weeks ago.

End of Another Love

I can happily announce that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows was totally fulfilling, and enormously entertaining. I hold tight to not talking about the book with people who have not read the book in attempts to keeping the ending under wraps for as long as possible. If you want spoilers then just go to Wikipedia jerks and quit bugging me.

I will say this though, JK Rowling did the impossible and made me tear up. I even shed one.

And the waiting begins...

You'll notice (I hope) that there is now a check mark next to "application." I finally finalized my personal statement, which I no doubt put too much effort into and have submitted my application to the AACOMAS.

What's next? Well my application is now being processed by the AACOMAS and once they verify that the courses I inputed are correct they will calculate my official cumulative and science GPAs. They will then send out my application to the schools I designated and I then hopefully will receive secondary applications from those nine schools. They should have the primary within 3-6 weeks. Hopefully 3, since I'm still fairly early applying.

My advisor also told me that the pre-health committee has finally started writing my letter of recommendation. I'm hoping that they'll finish that before the AACOMAS finishes processing my application. They send those directly to the schools I'm applying to.

I'm a little nervous because in the status of my application it says that they haven't received my transcripts from any of the schools I attended, even though I sent them out weeks ago. I'm going to assume for now that this isn't updated automatically and someone needs to physically verify that they have the transcripts from the right schools. I mean they didn't even know what schools I attended until I submitted this application.

My breathing is still calm. It's too early to start hyperventilating.

Freaking Cell Phones

I have such a love/hate relationship with Verizon Wireless.

I love it because I get reception almost everywhere I go, and very rarely ever have a dropped call. I also love it because basically everyone I know has Verizon, so I never need to worry about my minutes. I can honestly say that I do not keep track of my minutes at all.

I hate it because they don't let me do with my phone what I want to do. Specifically, they don't let me make my own ringtones. They tell you that your phone can play mp3 files, and it can. You just can't use those mp3 files as ringtones!!! I use to be able to use Mobile17 for all of my ringtone needs, but now Verizon has put a limit on how long they can be - 10 seconds. I mean granted I almost always pick up my phone within 10 seconds, but it cuts down on how cool it is. I wanted to hear the whole thing, not just the first 10 seconds over and over.

My contract ends in January '08. I really like the iPhone, but I don't trust AT&T Wireless. They don't have as stellar a reputation as Verizon in terms of service, and I've also heard really bad things about their wireless internet. And if I'm going to have a monthly subscription of $60 this internet better be sweet. But I also hear that an upgraded iPhone is on its way soon, and that AT&T is working on rectifying the slow internet problem. So I guess I'll see in January what I'm going to do about my cell phone.

Comment as you will. (Or should I say, won't)

Getting Hopes Up

You know this always, always, always happens to me. I'm getting my hopes up. After years of thinking that I wouldn't get in anywhere I'm starting to think that I might be able to get into my top choice school. It's not my top choice because of rank or anything, but because of location - about a 15 minute drive from my hometown, which is also the area I would like to do residency and live. Ugh.

My friend just told me that this guy from my college (and high school) got into said school with a 24 on the MCAT. Granted, I also think he had a considerably higher GPA than me, but hopefully the MCAT proves I'm capable. I also just realized that my personal statement makes me sound like I'm perfectly fitted for one of their customized curricula.

Just watch. The same thing that happened with every single one of my Organic Chem tests is going to happen. I'm going to get my hopes up and end up falling exactly where I would have predicted before the test.


In other news, I'm super excited about my upcoming senior year. My fall semester schedule is so clutch.

Monday: night class - Ireland: History/Politics
Tuesday: 9:30 - Bioethics; 11:00 Vertebrate Physiology
Wednesday: 2:00 - Vertebrate Physiology Lab (yay mice!)
Thursday: 11:00 - Vertebrate Physiology; night class - Human Nutrition
Friday: 9:30 - Bioethics

The one thing that obviously sucks is that I have only one class on Friday. And of course it's the morning after the biggest drinking night. And also it's my capping class... We'll see how that goes. But other than that my day normally doesn't start that early, and I have a TON of free day time. Plus, I'm super excited for every single one of my classes. (DORK!)

Oh, and also my apartment is fucking nassssssty. I'm so pumped to live there with only one roommate. (Who also happens to be one of my best friends at school and my roommate for the past 2.5 years) It's going to be sick.

You know, sometimes it's nice to get your hopes up. Because in the long run I think I would still feel like shit if I didn't get what I wanted, regardless of whether I thought I would or not.

Growing Up

I saw my internist today; NOT my pediatrician. It's so nice not to be the oldest person in the waiting room.

I really need to start remembering to not piss before going for my physical. I got into the bathroom and what a surprise, nothing. Wait no, it wasn't a surprise at all.

I then had my first EKG ever. That was pretty neat. They said it was normal. I guess I'm suppose to be happy about that, but it wasn't much of a learning experience. BUT I did have a heart murmur, which means that I get to go in again Tuesday for an echocardiogram. (!!!!!) I'm not at all worried about that, but at least it's another procedure that I've never had before.

I had a total n00b moment though. When the desk woman told me I had to schedule an echocardiogram I said, "But I already had that today, an EKG" And she rightfully reminded me that an EKG is an electrocardiogram. OMG the embarrassment. How could I forget such a thing. I literally turned red I think.

In other news, I've corrected my personal statement. I'm sticking more or less with the second one. And I took out anything that made is sounded like I struggled in my classes. (My transcript will do I fine job showing that) I'm justing waiting for my advisor to read it over and give it the okay. That'll only take a month....

Hope everyone had a great 4th!
Ciao!

PS DEUX

I don't like this one either. But it might give a better sense of who I am. Personal statements blow ass. This is a rough rough rough draft. Someone please just let me borrow your life story cause mine is boring and uneventful and I have nothing extraordinary to offer the world.


I started college undecided between touchy-feely, subjective psychology and cold, hard, “we’re right, you’re wrong” biology. Fortunately though my freshman adviser had a stroke of divine intervention and placed me in Human Biology and that is where the stress began. But I knew that this was where my true passion lay; not with theories saying that all my problems are because of my mother, but with theories blaming them on my genes – only half my mother’s fault. This didn’t mean that I intended on applying to medical school. I had simply decided that I didn’t want to coast through college.

The following semesters I found myself in the School of Science, a place filled with anxious students and the signs of sleep deprivation covering their faces. I soon looked liked them too. The classes were unlike the others I had taken. Here you sat in a room and had theories, mechanisms and formulas driven into your head for 75 minute increments. Half of me hated it because there were never any class discussions or chances to apply our knowledge to real life scenarios. But the other half loved it because what I was learning was so fascinating and made me much more aware of the world around me. It was just a matter of figuring out what to do with this knowledge.

The summer after freshman year I was invited to shadow my dermatologist. I figured I’d try it out to see what medicine was all about. Before this I had never considered medicine. Medicine was for the Type A gunner students who effortlessly memorized the sedimentation values of antibodies and structure of intermolecular bridges in proteins. While shadowing I saw a marble sized hemangioma removed from a little girl’s head, basal cells sliced off and warts attacked by liquid nitrogen and acid. It was love at first sight. Even the mundane diagnosis and treatment of eczema awed me. This was what I needed to do. Not necessarily dermatology, but take my love for biology and apply it to real life problems.

School started again and I was no longer a pathological masochist. I had a purpose for the pain, and it was medical school. I was determined to do whatever it took to get there. To get through my classes I would focus on the clinical aspects of my classes to get through them. Even in classes like organic chemistry I wouldn’t try to memorize reactions. Instead, I would analyze what needed to be done, consider the conditions needed to accomplish it and work my way through from there. And for better or worse, it worked.

Still I needed to get my fix of the real stuff. Seeing patients was like a drug addiction. To fill this need I continued getting any clinical experience I could. The summer after sophomore year I worked with an orthopedist and during junior year I worked at the local ER and a family medicine practice. Going in and hearing a patient’s problem got my brain working in ways that that the classroom never did. And I was surprised that I was actually able to make sense of the situations and ask the physicians intelligent questions. It was nice to see that performance in a didactic lecture class didn’t necessarily predict my clinical abilities. I also loved getting to know the patients. I would ask them plenty of questions, which not only provided me with more information to work with, but would also to them to ease. Many of the patients seemed to gravitate towards me, as opposed to the doctors, especially the elderly women brought to the ER against their will.

So here I am ready and willing. There is no story about saving children in Africa, or watching a loved one battle a chronic illness. It’s simply me. I’m the guy who will talk your ear off the second he hears you’ve got a cough. I’ve done my research and know what’s required of me in medical school, residency and beyond.

Pending...... The Remix

I've taken those two people's suggestion to heart and have decided to re-write my personal statement. I'm still going to try to show the path I took to get to this point but show a little more of myself.

I'll get back to you.

Call It Like You See It!

Here's my personal statement. It's just under the character limit. My biggest concern is whether this is the best place to explain my "C" in Physics1. My advisors told me I definietly should explain it and this is really the only chance I get to. I didn't feel like I had to leave anything out in order to fit it into my statement.

I started college undecided between touchy-feely, subjective psychology and cold, hard, “we’re right, you’re wrong” biology. Fortunately though my freshman advisor had a stroke of divine intervention and placed me in Human Biology and that is where the stress began. But I knew that this was where my true passion lied; not with theories saying that all my problems are because of my mother, but with theories blaming them on my genes – only half my mother’s fault. This doesn’t mean that I was considering applying to medical school. I had simply decided that I didn’t want to coast through college.

Later on my freshman year I realized that I loved applying what I knew to problem solving situations. I guess it gives me a sense of satisfaction taking what I have learned in the classroom and using it to answer someone's questions or explain to someone what is going on in their own body. Medicine started to seem like a good fit for me the more I thought about it. It would provide me a problem solving based job that I find interesting, challenging and most importantly, satisfying.
The summer following my freshman year I started to get some clinical experience to see if medicine was what I envisioned. My dermatologist offered me the opportunity to shadow her in the office to see what a typical day was like. After the first day I was hooked. I loved going in to see patients and hearing about their problems, while also trying to figure out in my head what was going on and what treatment plan would help them. That summer I learned that medicine was definitely the field I wanted to pursue. I also realized that I would probably want to go into a primary care field because they would see the widest variety of pathology, as opposed to specializing.

After freshman year I found myself becoming more fascinated by the many different aspects of medicine. Immunology alone increased my knowledge of medicine by well over 100%, and at the same time made me aware of much I have to learn. But even during my Emergency Medicine internship I found myself able to apply what I learned to my case studies. For instance, when one patient came in with a foot that was swollen and red the physician approached the situation as a clot in the leg or foot, but I asked if could also be an allergic reaction since it was localized. He said that it was definitely something worth looking, which got me overly excited even though it was such a minor suggestion and most likely in the back of his mind anyway.

Another thing I learned about myself during my internships is that I like working with people. Meeting complete strangers and listening to their problems is something I enjoy. I would often find myself asking lots of follow up questions. I like getting to know the patients and their lives, because not only does it give your more information to work with, but it also helps the patients feel more comfortable in what can often be a stressful situation. I have even had patients and physicians compliment me on bedside manner, especially the elderly patients who look to me as the good guy, as opposed to the physician, but I probably just remind them of their grandchildren.

Ever since I decided on pursuing medicine I've been doing research on what to expect in medical school, residency and beyond. As of now I could see myself going into a primary care field such as Internal Medicine and working as a hospitalist, but I've learned there is much about medicine that I do not know about that I'm open to anything. I feel I have a thorough understanding of what medical school and residency entails and the dedication that is required, but I think that as long as I go in with the right intentions and mindset, then it is all worth the effort and something I can succeed at.



I would like to take this time to explain one of the grades on my transcript. The reason that I had taken Physics I at ********* University was because I anticipated a heavy course load my junior year with Organic Chemistry I+II, Physics I+II and the MCAT, so I wanted to lighten my load. Unfortunately, ********* University's pre-medical students take algebra-based physics, as opposed to *My School*'s required calculus-based physics. The calculus-based physics at ********* is intended for their engineering students, and is closer to an applied calculus class, than the physics found on the MCAT. So I would like to highlight the "A" that I received in Physics II at *My School*, which was designed to prepare the students for the physics on the MCAT.

Yummies

Today I ordered a Panini called "The *insert letter(s) here*-COM." (COM = College of Osteopathic Medicine) I won't lie. The name was part of the reason I got it, but the grilled chicken, ham, fresh mozzarella and baby arugula helped.

I had to share with all of you the address that I send my application to:

AACOMAS
5550 Friendship Blvd., Ste. 310
Chevy Chase, MD 20815-7231

Who would have thought...

Results are in...

I got my MCAT score the night I returned from Italy. I got a 25-O: 8P, 8V, 9B, which is funny cause I thought I did the worst on the biological science section.

This was the score I was kind of worried about getting cause it's leaving me in limbo, yet again. It's not so low that I fold in the cards and do PA school, but not so great that I'm confident about getting in anywhere. My perfect GPA friend gets mad when I say something like this because she got a 20 on the MCAT and has to take it again. But I remind her that she has practically a perfect GPA. I need to remember to ask her if she would swap scenarios. That would be an interesting answer. My current GPA is about 3.1-3.2 cumulative and 3.0 science.

I'm hoping to have my applications done by next week once the grade from my abroad class is in. I have about 8 schools on the list right now, but I don't think I'm going to share what schools I'm applying to because lately it seems best to stay as private as possible in the medical blogging world.

I'll keep everyone updated, as always.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

No, I'm not back from Italy yet, but I will be soon enough.

When I return I figure out the fiath of my medical career, kinnda. I also will be starting work again. Except this summer I don't get to watch tv or enjoy AC or work with my friend. This might suck a little.

Why am I always lookng for the negatives?

Time to go back to marvelling at Venice.

Trying to Ruin a Great Trip

I'm having such a blast in Florence. I think this is going to end up being my favorite place that we visit.

But I just tried to check my MCAT scores....
Thank God they're not up. But even if they're bad I think I'll be okay cause of closure knowing that I'm going for PA school only. But lately I've been thinking about how I want to be a doctor...

STOP!!!!
ITALY ITALY ITALY ITALY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tuscania

I'm reporting from a small town called Tuscania. It's very, very small. There isn't much to do, and therefore, not much to report.

We went to Assisi yesterday which is a cool town, though someone should introduce them to a thing called level ground. I should really start some kind of insurance company there based around winter driving...

No one here really speaks any english, which is kind of nice and also not, especially when ordering food. I blindly ordered my salad and dessert yesterday and was 1 for 2. The salad ended up being green beans, carrots and potatoes, which was delicious. The dessert I thought I was ordering was strawberry cheesecake. The dessert I got was starwberries... They were okay, but strawberries are one of the many, many foods that irratate my thorat. Thankfully, they didn't. But when we were dividing up the bill someone just decided just to charge everyone 5 euro for their dessert, thus making those the most expensive quater cup of strawberries I've ever had. Whatever, when in Rome... Wait, no, that doesn't apply on a multitude of different levels.

When In Rome

I'm here in an internet place on my last day of Rome. It's 10:30AM and the bus isn't picking us up until 2PM. booo. It's also pouring but that's okay cause everyone went to a canonization (make a saint) mass at the vatican so there isn't anyone to hang out with anyway. Well, 3 others didn't go either because we're just far too cool for that. The funny thing is I'm probably the most Catholic of everyone in the group in the sense that I know the most about Catholicism.

Yesterday, we did the Scavi Tour, which is a tour that takes you under St. Peter's to see all of the popes' tombs and you see where St. Peter was buried. The whole experience was actually touching and a real "religious experience." We had a brother (from another mother, of course) give us the tour and he was very good. Our agnostic professor said that he sounded like he was trying to "save our souls" and he was, which was good since he was studying to become a priest. He actually restored my faith in the Roman Catholic organization and faith in general. Not that I was ever really anti-catholic or religion. At the site of St. Peter's bones he had lead us in prayer with the Our Father. Our Jewish professor had said that if he had been in that tour group he would have been kind of upset by that. This comment really pissed me off. I know that in America you can't get away with having in any kind of public setting, but guess what we're not in America. You're in the freaking Vatican, a country dedicated to Catholicism. Just because you're an art historian doesn't mean that you're entitled to walk through these doors and start saying what pleases and displeases you. Sorry that all these great works of art just happen to be there. Had we been in a Buddhist temple or Muslim mosque no one would ever say something like that. Ugh, just the little things that really piss me off.

Anyway, I've been having a ton of fun, but I'm definitely ready to move on to our next place, Tuscania. Rome is nice, and I like the old stuff, but the transportation systems blow, it's impossible to get around without getting lost and the waiters have had real attitudes with us. Granted, we've also had some great waiters who are nothing but entertaining.

The other night we tried to find this restuarant area on the Tiber that our professor suggested to us. To make a long story short, we were walking for 3 hours and end up just going to a place that was right down the street from our hotel. We were so tired and hungry at that point that all 7 of us were in a deep deep state of drunk-tiredness. We couldn't stop laughing at the stupidest things. And of course I had tears rolling down my face the entire time. It was actually a good night in all. But the story is going to end with the casterization of that professor by the 5 girls that he made walk miles and miles in uncomfortable shoes.

I've had enough of blogging and going to find other things to do with my 2euro/hour internet time.
Caio!

(Excuse mispelling and all that. I'm not going to read over it and I don't have built in spell check :-/)

I'm alive in Italy. I'm having a great time and my feet are about to fall off.

Tonight I'm going to a pub crawl by the spanish steps. I know you're jealous.

Screw medschool. I'm staying here forever.

Ciao!

Today I leave for Italia at 5PM. I shall return July 16th.

I hope you all enjoy the next three weeks as much as I will. Maybe I'll get to post while there.

PEACE!

Who Knew That Pandas Could Lurk

It all makes sense why I was actually getting comments, because Dr. Panda wrote an entry for me. I'd like to give him a big thanks because I really value his very objective - albeit sometimes brutally honest - opinions.

And to anyone who was tricked by him to check out the site, WELCOME!

To sum myself up for new reader:
- wants to be a doctor way too bad
- doesn't have the GPA for it
- probably doesn't have the MCAT for it either, but it's yet to be seen officially (Coming June 16)
- is now considering a career as a Physician Assistant
- Oh, and I watch too much TV and too many movies

What's going on around here?!?!?!

Tonight I opened my application for PA schools on CASPA. What is going on?!?

I don't even know how this is happening. It's so unlike me. I've been planning on medical school for so long and now I just opened a PA application file like it's nothing. Am I really just saying "YAY PA school!!!" this easily? I don't know if I like that or not.

Part of me feels like PA is such a smarter, more practical move. Practice faster, more flexibility, less stress, fine pay (especially if I'm a surgical PA), move around specialties, fewer worries about malpractice and such.

But another part of me feels defeated, or like I'm quitting. But when I look at how hard I've been working and what it has been yielding I don't know if I can handle another 4 years of that. Granted the last 2 years of med school aren't class, but you know what I mean. And then there is the miserable, miserable thing called residency. And what is it all for?

Almost all of the clinical experience I've had has been with PAs, so isn't that what I've been enjoying? And every doctor I've worked with has been miserable and told me DO NOT GO INTO MEDICINE!!! Whereas, every PA I've met loves their work and is happy and friendly.

I worry that as a PA I will never get to see any interesting cases, but is that true? I understand that the majority of the cases I personally handle will be routine work in that specialty, but that doesn't mean I won't be exposed to the interesting cases. (double negative?) It's not like the doctor would be like "Ummm, hell no you can't even look at this patients chart you're just a PA." I'm suppose to assist him even with the interesting patients. My ability to learn isn't limited because I'm a PA. I can become just as intelligent and well informed as a physician with time, just people won't respect my judgments as much. But this is for me, not others.

Even if I did go PA that doesn't mean I can't go to medical school later. If anything, this is a good way to really get into the health care field and see if medical school is really worth it. Also if I got tired of the whole medicine thing I would probably be a decent MHA candidate, right?

I think the thing that bothers me the most is that I feel this is typical of me. I get really excited about something and go so overboard preparing for it just to either fail, or realize that I'm acting like an idiot. (i.e. Starting a blog called The Future Dr. House) My parents were not exactly supportive of the whole venture. I mean they never told me not to pursue it, but at the same time I feel like they were always pointing out the negatives. I feel I would be proving them right at my expense. Errrr, but that's not really their agenda, I hope.

Then there are my friends. Today I was hanging out with all of them and I wanted to tell them that I'm thinking about changing my career goals, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I'm so tired of explaining what a DO was that I couldn't even imagine explaining what a PA was. I think they had some prejudices against a DO because it wasn't an MD, and I didn't want to lose face by explaining that I wouldn't be my own boss. I may not even tell them my plans until I actually act on some of them.

Most of my friends are going into the business world. One has an internship with an investment banking firm, one with a business law firm, one as an accountant, one with ESPN Radio, and another with a commodities investor who's also going to get a job with next year. I feel like being a PA wouldn't quite rank up there with them. Granted, I would still have a masters degree, which I don't think most will achieve, but... I don't know. I guess I wanted to prove myself to them with a medical degree. I'm not even that concerned with the money aspect because if any of them ever compared me to them I would drop them so fast...so fast... well, i've got nothing, but it would be fast!

I hope no one gets offended by this entry. I'm not trying to downplay the PA profession. I have great respect for PA and hope that I can become as competent as the one's I've shadowed. You just have to understand that it's not what I've dreamed of and my friends and family wouldn't have the appreciation that they should for the profession.

This is ridiculous. Why am I even worried about my friends? What do they care what I do with my life? I don't have to prove anything to them. I think I could really really really enjoy being a PA. In fact, I get excited at the idea of it. The same way I use to be excited about being a physician, just without the hesitation.

So, if all goes according to plan I'll probably end up going to PA school, which includes getting a 20 on the MCAT. This could be a good thing cause to be honest I didn't want to start my life in my late 20's.

Time to think up a new blog.