The Learning Curve

California was a great time in general. I could have done without going to LA, because basically it sucks a lot. San Diego was a pretty fun time, although I'm not convinced that anyone actually lives there. San Francisco is a pretty chill place, chilly too. It's a place I could consider living but I still think I like Boston better. I would definitely like to revisit though.

The job is... okay. It's rough goings since I really don't know how to do anything. Today was Day 7 and I feel like I've become more useless than I was Day 1. Is that even possible? I don't even know why I'm not catching on faster. I almost feel like I'm over thinking the whole job.

Here's a rundown of what I'm suppose to be doing.
- Bring patient into room
- Pull up chart
- Start the chart with the reason for the visit and preliminary questions about the issue.
And here's the first problem. Abbreviations. I have to go through the person's chart from the following visit to see what they did the last time they were here. But if I read some abbreviation that I don't know for a diagnosis, then how am I suppose to ask followup questions.

Unfortunately it's not as easy as just asking the patient "What are you here for?" or "What did you do last time you were here?" because often there are a million different things that the patient was here. Cause in dermatology you must find as many little, insignificant problems that you can bill for.

On top of the abbreviations, there's the handwriting. If the office is going to have computers in every room, than why can't we just type all the notes in? I feel like that makes a lot more sense than printing out a new follow-up sheet every time, and then having to scan it into the system. The only draw back I see to doing this is that you wouldn't be able to draw on the nice little figure of people. But hell I've only seen those diagrams used once as is. But really, the doctor especially makes zero attempt at having legible handwriting. Not fair.

So after the preliminary stuff is written on the chart I then have to transcribe whatever it is the PA or physician says/does to the patient. This is where I'm finding the hardest time. I don't know if it's that I'm thinking about other things, or if I'm just retarded, but I never seem to pick up on what I'm suppose to write down. Or even when they specifically tell me what to write down a fall behind because I have to think to long about how to spell and medication of something, and I need them to then repeat it. Very frustrating.

The last major part of this job is getting treatments ready for the physician or PA. Am I like a moron or something for not knowing how to prepare an injection? Is this some kind of skill that I missed out on learning? I feel like everyone assumes I know how to change the needle on a syringe, or know what the name is for every tool. The answer is no I don't. And the only time I ever get any practice at it is when we're seeing patients and time is not to be wasted. So I end up looking like an idiot when I'm fumbling around to just get a freaking cortisone injection ready. UGH! God help me if they ever have me start doing injections.

This is not a difficult job. I really feel like I should be able to catch on to this faster. ROAR! And it's not like my co-workers aren't trying to teach me. They are, but I feel like it's my fault that I don't know how to do what they're telling me. They try to be supportive, but I don't accept praise well. I'm very self-deprecating.

At my interview I asked how long it generally takes for someone to get the hang of working in the office. I think they told me it generally takes 3 months to begin to get situated. I totally underestimated this learning curve. I really want to be useful and it's annoying me how freshmanic I am.

Employment

I accepted a job offer today. That's fairly exciting. It's a Medical Assistant position at a Dermatology practice, where they're very focused on teaching the assistants. w00t! It was pretty quick too. I applied through Craig's List some time last week. Got an interview scheduled on Tuesday, interviewed today, got an offer 2 hours later. Pretty sweet. An hour after that I found out that I didn't get a job at the local hospital. It's cool though cause I was going to withdraw my application from there today anyway. Sitting in a room with one other person all night watching a computer monitor probably wouldn't offer the same teaching experience. Granted, it did offer twice the pay...

This all went totally according to plan. I wanted to have a job lined up at the end of the summer, and start right after my trip to California, and that's exactly how it worked out. My new philosophy of throwing everything against the wall until something sticks is proving quite effective.

Two of my friends are really pissed with me because my job search lasted all of 17 days, and I applied to a total of 6 jobs. They've applied to many more than that. I've got nothing in terms of comforting them.

Update: Cablevision/Verizon

Today my grandma started making phone calls cause now she wants to switch our phone to Verizon. This would then complete the circle of bringing us back to EXACTLY from where we started.

I took charge this time and said, "No, I'm going to solve this problem without us switching again." So today I will be registering her pre-paid international call account. I WILL NOT SCHEDULE ANOTHER INSTALLATION FOR THIS HOUSE!!! ROOOOOOARRRRR

ps - Match.com and I made up.

Fuck You Match.com

Okay, so this really isn't Match.com's fault, but it pissed me off nonetheless. I'm not a paying member yet, but I was highly considering it when I saw this one guy and decided I would accumulate a list of people I would try to contact and then decide if it was enough people to warrant paying $40 for a month. Wouldn't you know it that the one guy who I really had my eye on, and looked like an active user ended up taking down his account no more than ONE DAY after I made note of him. I see the same freaking profiles on that website for MONTHS, and it's this one that decides to take it down.

This is why I don't want to join Match.com, because I'm terrified that none of these people with profiles are actually paying members, so it'll all be for nothing.

Whatever. I'm sure there will be more people that join in the future that I may have interest in. I'm going to put the whole thing on hold until after my trip to California (one week!), since I don't see a point in paying for a month when I'm going to be away for 25% of that time.

Leviticus 20:13

"If a man lies with a man as with a women they shall both be put to death"

You've heard this all too common quote from the Bible proving that homosexuality is wrong.


Well, if I lie with men one way, and never lie with women that way, then I'm never lying with a man the way I do with a woman.

QED

Score one for the homos.

Why You Don't Get Involved

I meant to write about this a while ago, but I think I started writing about something else instead.

I may have mentioned that after graduation I moved in with my grandparents, who live in the same town as my family. I did this mainly because they have a very nice, finished basement that they never use and plenty of extra bedrooms. Basically, their house has space for me which my family's does not. The strange thing that happens when you go to college - your bed room disappears, but a storage rooms comes out of thin air.

One thing that my grandfather has always complained about what how long it takes for the TV to change the channel. This might seem like a nit picky complaint, but in all honesty it is kind of absurd. It has nothing to do with getting a new cable box, it's just that Cablevision (tv provider) sucks.

Recently, Verizon began offering TV/Internet/Phone service in our neighborhood and claimed that things that use to bother you like channel changing speed were not a problem with them. They also made claims that their picture was better, and internet faster. Since my grandparents already had Verizon for their phone service I suggested to them that we switch everything to Verizon. My grandfather totally supported this idea, since it meant that changing channels would speed up. My grandmother seemed somewhat indifferent to the change, especially because she rarely watches TV with a cable box. The cable box is the reason that there is a delay. But I told her that overall it was cheaper to have TV/Internet/Phone with one company, so she bit.

Verizon comes and completes their 6 hours installation. I have no idea what they were doing for 6 hours, all I know is I got a significant portion of Freakonomics done. My grandparents were away in Florida at the time so I had plenty of time to adjust to the new service, so that I could address any problems that they would undoubtedly come across.

The first day came of my grandparents and Verizon TV's coexisiting. As expected, there was an issue. My grandmother had called me into the kitchen and goes, "Oh Guy, do you know where MSNBC is on the channels? I can't seem to find it on this TV listing you gave me." I must admit that my heart dropped, because my grandmother isn't blind or stupid, and if she said the channel wasn't on that list, it probably wasn't. I went over the list and sure enough it wasn't there. I even went online in a vain attempt to try to figure out how this channel could be missing. Evidently, the NY-metro area doesn't offer MSNBC on Verizon because of an exclusive contract they have with Cablevision. Who else you may ask has this exclusive contract? No one. MSNBC is the only channel. I to this day do not understand why this contract would ever have come about. It's especially odd since the rest of the NBC/Universal channels are offered.

I digress.

I tell her that it's not being offered, and that I don't think it's likely to be added anytime soon. She seems rather upset by this, which I find somewhat odd cause I didn't think she ever watched anything other than Fox News or CNN. I then say I will switch it back as soon as she asks me to and that it won't be any problem. She tells me to talk it over with my grandfather before making in decision, since he of course is the Master of the World.

Later that night I go up to his bedroom and explain the little issue we've come across. His response: "I don't give a shit if I ever see that channel again." He clearly won a bet with Chris Matthews, which Matthews didn't own up to.

Grandma enters stage left.
Grandma: Oh Grandpa, we're not going to get MSNBC.
Grandpa: Yeah, so. You didn't like anything on it.
Grandma: They would have some good programs on once and a while. I would be a nice change.
Grandpa: But you hated all of the people on it.
Guy exits stage left, fearing the possible divorce of his grandparents.

The ruling came in the next day. Verizon was staying. I felt kind of bad for my grandmother, but everyone in the family told me not to stress about it and that she would adjust.

Adjust my asshole. I heard about how much she missed MSNBC every day. Any time anything was ever mentioned about the TV, MSNBC would surely be interjected.

Hey Guy, could you show me how to use the remote. Boy isn't is strange how we don't get MSNBC.

Oh Guy, the channels seemed to have changed. MAYBE MSNBC WAS ADD!!

Oh Guy, while you're on the phone with Verizon ask about MSNBC.

Shoot me in the face.

But no, the issues weren't isolated to just that. There was an even more annoying, universal problem. Bare with me as a try to explain this. The remote can control both the Cable Box and the TV separately. If the remote was in the CABLE function, then pressing POWER would turn on/off the TV and CABLE BOX. If the remote was in the TV function, then the POWER button would only turn on/off the TV. But sometimes when POWER was pressed in the CABLE function, it would only turn the BOX on, and if you hit it again, then the TV would turn on and BOX turn off. To change the functioning of the remote you simply either press TV or CABLE. Someone who understand the fundamentals of how the remote works can easily fix this problem. Someone who doesn't is lost forever having the TV turn on and the BOX turn off. My grandparents being of the Greatest Generation That Ever Lived, fell into the latter of the two.

Multiple times a day I would have to turn the TV on for them. 2AM sometimes. Explaining that there was a difference between the TV control and the BOX control was nothing but an exercise in futility, which I practiced regularly. But in all fairness, the remotes really didn't work the way they were suppose to. Even when I came up with the ingenious plan to always leave the BOX on and only turn on/off the TV the remotes still fucked things up. Le sigh.

7AM. Only one thing gets me up that early nowadays - clinical rotations. I'm suppose to be at the hospital at 9AM, but not before my daily dose of TV woes. I enter the kitchen to the all to familiar, "Oh Guy, the TV doesn't seem to be working." *drops head and sighs* "But I think it's just cause of the storm last night." I wasn't even aware there was a storm the night before, especially one strong enough to mess up the TV. Generally, I would accept this excuse created for me, but I knew something was up.

I go to Fox News at channel 81, but the TV automatically goes to 82. Odd. But 82 isn't even what it's suppose to be. I go into the den and everything is working fine. Odder still. I check the internet to see if there was a change in channels, (Which still doesn't explain why the channels are different on the TVs) but it doesn't say anything. I call Verizon and explain the issue and they tell me that they did in fact change the channels that day. So why is the den still going by the old numbers? No answer. Ugh Verizon, ugh. Whatever, I get it reset.

I get back from class later that day and I'm called into the den by my grandfather. He basically tells me we're going to switch back to Cablevision because they just don't have their act together. I explain that means back to channeling changing delays and such. Doesn't matter we're switching, but with a twist. We're getting Cablevision phone service also.
The end.

No, not the end of the story. Just this part.

You Can't Have It Both Ways

On the O'Reilly Factor I had the displeasure of learning of the existence of a woman named Laura Ingrham. The topic of discussion was on the Bejing Olympics, but she had to make her views on gays kissing on TV known, which was the topic of the segment before her. She was saying how disgusted she is with this song "I Kissed a Girl" by Katy Perry. (awesome song) Specifically, she was outraged of some peck on the lips Whoopi Goldberg gave Katy Perry, during with award show. It was literally less intimate than how I kiss my grandmother. So fine, she's outraged about the gays taking over the air waves.

They move on to the main topic of Bejing, and more particularly how China is going to restrict internet access. The Chinese government is evidently not going allow guests to access certain websites, mainly pertaining to Tibet. Oh, how outraged she was that China would dare block access to these sites. You can't pretend that these people don't exist in Tibet. THEY MUST BE HEARD!

Ahem... Excuse me, but you were just saying before that there should be no homosexual acts allowed to be aired on TV, regardless of whether they're in jest or not. So I guess we should only censor the TV and internet as long as you're cool with it. Hey Laura, I guess you didn't catch this week's episode of Weeds. You know, where Silas is preforming full on cunnilingus on a significantly older woman. Granted it's Showtime, so they can get away with that more. But in this day and age Showtime is accessible to many a 12 year old.

I guess she's okay with minors hooking up with older women. Trust me honey, it's never happening for you. My gaydar tells me Silas (Hunter Parrish) is on my team. Sucks to be you. Stick to Army Wives. They probably get as much action as you do, minus when their husbands come home.

The Pilgrimage

My #1 Fag Hag and I are currently planning a trip to California. I was really hoping to save my money for a trip to Buenos Aires, but I doubt I will be able to afford it, or find someone to go with, so Cali will have to do.

Tentative Schedule:
Friday, Sept 5: Night flight to L.A.

Saturday: Sightsee - I personally have very little interest in L.A. but my hag insists

Sunday: Maybe check out a school for the hag
Drive to San Diego

Monday: San Diego Zoo and Sea World - sealllsssss!!!!!!

Tuesday: Beach Day, possible surfing lesson cause we're that cliché

Wednesday: Maybe check out another school
Drive to L.A.
Afternoon flight to San Francisco

Thursday: Sightsee in San Fran - I've been very resistant to SF because of feeling like a huge stereotype, but my dad says it's the best city of the three. I'm secretly petrified that I'm going to love it too much.

Friday: Alcatraz

Saturday: Red eye flight - allows for maximum hanging out in San Fran

I'm hoping that we're not going to be moving around too much. We wanted to see all three cities, and couldn't afford to spend too much time in any one place. I think it's going to be a lot of fun. But I warned my Hag that if I fall too desperately in love with any of those cities I would kill her because there is zero P.A. job market out there, and my current Goal City has an amazing P.A. job market.

Medical Post

I know you've been dying for a medical post. Well here it is.

For the EMT course we're required to learn how to take vitals, thus we need to own a blood pressure cuff. Also known as, sphygmomanometer. But that's an obnoxious word.

BP Cuff #1: Calibration is off. Readings are all too high. Needle doesn't zero.

BP #2: Needle gets stuck once it goes past 140.

BP #3: Replacement gauge for #2 isn't calibrated correctly. This time the needle goes past zero and starts at 300. All reads are too low.

Note to self: don't buy BP Cuffs from Wallgreens or Ebay ever again. I'll keep you updated as to whether I ever get a working BP cuff.

Gay Moment

I feel like I have to apologize about the lack of medical-ness of this blog lately. But my medical life is somewhat static right now. I'm in my EMT class, but it's not really worth talking about. My applications for PA school are done, so until I get a job after the summer I guess medical talk is at a stand still.

Which brings me to my disclaimer: I apologize for going GAY two posts in a row.

If you live in California, please make sure you're registered to vote, and also please consider voting AGAINST the BAN on Gay Marriage. It's legal now, but not if this ban gets passed in the upcoming elections.

I don't even think anyone who reads the blog is from Cali. I do, however, have a friend who is, and I asked him to make sure he's registered and to vote. He said that he probably wasn't going to because "it doesn't really matter to me much." Wow, thanks a lot jackass. I let it slide at the moment, but I'm going to call him out on it soon.

So This is the Single's Life

One of my top priorities this summer/"year off" was to make some kind of attempt to have a dating life. Although I'm doing slightly better than anticipated, that's still not saying much. I didn't really think I was going to make it to my first gay bar, or start online conversation with strangers. But sometimes I surprise myself.

Going to bars is kind of rough when you don't have anyone to go to bars with, or going with straight girls - that actually draws some strange glares. I've scoured the online dating/gay community thing and I'm not seeing a ton of winners. You wouldn't believe the absolute man whores that are out there. Seriously, do you think being shirtless and looking like an coke addict is suppose to be a turn on? I know it's common for the gays to go through a slutty stage, but I've always been advance for my age, and I'm choosing to skip that grade.

My biggest problem seems to be my location. Living in the suburbs isn't exactly prime real estate for single, college graduate, gay guys. I have a very, very major city nearby, (hint: scroll down a couple of posts) but who the hell wants a 40 minute commute for casual dating? All this tempts me to move to the city, but that's too impractical for me. I'm most likely going to be able to find a job around here after I get my EMT. I'm living rent free. And since I'm planning on going to school next year (and year after) it's probably smarter to save my money, than spend it on rent and other expenses.

I get really excited when I do searches for guys in Dream City. I see lots of desirable guys. But, alas, they are 4 hours away. It also makes me really nervous that this is my only chance to meet these guys. This is irrational though. There is no reason to believe that there won't be an equal variety of desirable men in 1-3 year to come.

So the future looks bright, but where does that leave me in the present? I hate the single's world already. Am I really just going to be sitting in relationship limbo for the next year?

Throwing It Out There

Can I just say how sick and tired I am of hearing all of this celebrity "news?" And more specifically I'm sick about hearing how this girls boobs are weird looking, this girl has too many freckles, this one has cellulite and this one is in rehab again. Can you blame any of them for having substance abuse problems when you have these kinds of jackasses talking nothing but shit about them? I seriously am fucking sick of it.

This one DJ, JJ on z100 (New York), does nothing but trash on all these girls. I fucking hate him. Well, I also hate him cause I think he's an awkward ass DJ, but that's besides the point. As far as I'm concerned his just a fatter, hairy, uglier version of Perez Hilton. And Perez is by no means a looker. Oh and he's always wearing these stupid ass do-rags. You know why? Cause he's totally bald. JJ, you're a white slob. You're not fooling anyone.

I'm now going to refuse to listen to Z100 while he's on the air.

Post-College Depression

I feel as if a lot of my friends who just graduated college are becoming really depressed. I wish I knew how to help them out but I don't. It all makes me feel like I should be depressed, but I'm not. Sure I'm not exactly where I want to be, but I realize that it all takes time and that life changes. You can't have super specific goal that if not achieved will ruin your life. If you keep general goals that you are constantly moving towards then it gives you a feeling of accomplishment. The hard part is figuring out that goal you want to move towards. I think a sense of productivity helps a great deal when combatting depression. And once a goal is met you shouldn't become static. Keep things fresh and have new things you want to accomplish. I'm accepting the fact that I probably will not want to work in medicine forever. I'm too scattered to stay in one profession. I accept this, and don't plan on freaking out if after 10 years in medicine I want to do something new. I need to find projects for my friends.

Disturbia

Which is more distubring?

#1 - Last night I have a bunch of people over. I go into the bathroom and see the tooth paste tube out and squeezed from the middle. I never squeeze from the middle. Also it should have been in the drawer. On top of this I feel my tooth brush and it's wet, and I hadn't used it since that morning. Someone used my tooth brush. Who does that?

#2 - I go to the dermatologist today for my yearly body scan. I'm very, very Irish, and very, very pale with many moles even though my skin never sees the sun. (That made me sound gross) So my PA whom I've gone to for over 5 years and love asks me why I never followed up on my positive biopsy from last year. I earnestly tell her that I never knew it came back positive. She told me that they sent something home and called. I tell her that I had definitely been aware to look for something in the mail, but they send something home regardless of the results. I also told her that she had told me they would call me with positive results and I definitely never got a call. She then goes, "Oh, yeah. There's no note here that they called." She then shows me my chart at the spot it would be written in.

Thank God she told me that they were just abnormal cells that needed to be removed, but not serious. Leaves me to assume they're basal carcinomas. I really should have asked, but she said not to worry, so I guess I left my guard down. I looked up what basal cells look like on the back, and it's basically exactly what was on my back - a blotchy, light brown, ill-defined bordered lesion. It was not super dark, as typical melanoma.

My mom is pissssssssed. I'm kind of indifferent, which is probably a bad thing. I'm chalking it up to a lesson learned - always call to hear the results of your tests, don't assume they'll call you.

Thoughts?

Alive

I'm alive. I successfully graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Biomedical Science. I'm currently taking an EMT course in hopes of working in an ER at the end of the summer as an ER tech. The class makes me kind cry because of how much I already know. Why cry? Cause I'm bored shitless and they dumb everything down so much that it hurts. The entire human anatomy in 2 hours? Sweeet...

I know. I'm a cocky jackass.

Job Results

So I didn't get that job I interviewed for. They told me today that they found someone else to fill the position. Today I checked Craig's List for more jobs and I'm fairly sure they reposted the job opening because it specifically had two very different locations and job responsibilities for criteria. So basically even when I'm compared against no one I'm not wanted as a worker. Fucking swell.

Sleep, a Necessary Evil

Yesterday I slept until 1PM. I then feel back asleep at around 5PM, until 8PM. No wonder I couldn't sleep the rest of the night. At 7AM I gave up trying to sleep and went to campus to study and go to my 9:30AM class.

Now I'm trying to stay awake until at least 8PM. My game is so weak it's unbelievable. I had some coffee before I was tired and it destroyed my stomach. I hate my school's coffee. This means I can't handle drinking anymore coffee. I also have a class at 6:30-7:45PM and I need to study a lot tonight. I think sleeping in the afternoon is going to be inevitable, which will just further screw up my sleeping schedule. I don't know how I get myself into these situations.

I <3 White People

A new website that I'm in love with. Basically because it's the story of my life.

Stuff White People Like

Outraged

Have you heard of this new movie coming out, Made of Honor?

Basic premise: guy and girl have been best friends forever. Guy never ties the knot with a girl because he's assumed to be a casanova. As soon the girl gets engaged, guy friend falls wildly in love with his best friend. He then tries to break up his best friend's wedding, and win the girl.

Where have we heard this story before?

Oh right...


My Best Friend's Wedding. One of the only chick flicks I've ever grown to love. I don't care how McDreamy you may be Patrck Dempsy. Julia trumps you forever.

Cardiothoracic Surgery

Finally got a taste of surgery - aortic valve replacement. I've come to a great conclusion.

Dealing with unconscious patients is infinitely better than dealing with talking ones.

Causing a Ruckus?

I may, or may not have caused a ruckus in the comments section of The Stranger's blog, Slog. It had to do with whether it's right to have higher taxation of the upper class since it hurts them less. It's a very liberal audience, and I'm a stubborn moderate. Yes, I said moderate and that's what I'm going to keep on calling myself regardless of the fact that I don't believe in socialism. There are plenty of "liberal" ideals I support.

If you actually came to this site via Slog then feel free to comment and continue the discussion. I enjoy it.

The Interview: Recap

Every issue that I was hoping wouldn't come up did.

- Directly asked what I was looking to be paid
- Admitting that even though I have all those "clinical experiences" I really have no surgical experience
- Needing to admit that I would only be working there for a little over a year, until PA school started

We'll see. When it comes down to it I'm still (really) cheap labor and I'm still totally brighter than what's required for this job. I should hear by the middle of next week.

Terrible Person?

I just finished watching The English Patient, sparked by seeing that Seinfeld episode one too many times. I've always suspected that I was a heartless person. Well, I kind of know that I'm a heartless person. This somewhat troubles me. But after seeing Brokeback Mountain I thought there was a glimmer of hope that I might have a heart. Evidently, this movie is suppose to really tear you apart inside, so I thought I'd test myself.

End result? Nope, didn't really get that worked up. If you haven't seen it, and plan on seeing it, STOP READING FROM THIS POINT ON!!!!

I don't know. There was something about their relationship that kind of bothered me and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was married. My main problem was with the Count. He seemed kind of crazy, irrational and obsessed. I almost felt like he didn't love her as a person, but as an item. She was like a prize that no one else could have, and he needed her like a drug. I don't know, I guess some people would call this love. I don't know what would need to be different to make it more acceptable to me. I thought the love story between the nurse and Sayid (from LOST) was sadder.

Don't get me wrong though, I did enjoy the movie. I wasn't pleading for his death like Elaine, and I would gladly watch it again. In fact I would gladly watch it again to see if there was something I missed in the development of their relationship, but I'm fairly sure that I got an accurate picture of it.

The Interview

Last night I sent my resume out to a job advertising for a medical assistant/surgical tech position. Generally I wouldn't consider myself qualified to be a surgical tech., since I don't even know what they do, but I fulfilled the requirements listed. It's the perfect job for me. They said it particularly well suited for people looking to expand their medical and surgical knowledge and skills. Considering that I want to be a surgical physician assistant I figured this was an opportunity that I couldn't pass up. It also said that applicants should be good at reassuring patients before, during and after procedures. I'm good with patients, they like me, I can handle that. PLUS the practice is in my town.

I wasn't too hopeful about hearing back though, as I'm not professionally trained in anything related to surgery, or being a medical assistant at that. Also I generally get the feeling from this web site that jobs posted need to be filled sooner, rather than later. So I made it clear that I wasn't going to be available to work until after graduation, May 17.

Less then 12 hours later I received an e-mail asking if I was available to interview this upcoming Monday. OF COURSE I AM.

I'm assuming they actually looked at my resume and determined that I was indeed technically qualified and capable of performing the job. So I'm going to go into the interview with a positive attitude assuming that it's just them making sure that I'm not a nut case. Hopefully I can fool them.

The practice also looks very, very elite which is why I'm giving as little descriptive information as possible. But basically I have to look really well put together, and bring it.

An Experiment

To help study for genetics tests the professor has each student submit 5 review questions along with possible answers, the correct answers highlighted. To study for this I will be using mainly Wikipedia with the review packet. My notes are fairly useless, since we are barely given any, and the textbook is horrible. It reads more like a history book than a science text book.

I'll let you know how this goes.

So Far, So Suck

Attempted to get my animal behavior study observation done today. Woke up early. Had breakfast. Made a cute little lunch to eat at the zoo. Printed directions from Google Maps. It was all going so well. I was looking forward to spending time with the otters.

I made one major mistake. I followed the directions.

The google map directions took me to the middle of fucking no where. It claimed that that was where the zoo was. It wasn't. It brought me along the most off roading road I've ever been on around here. We're talking single lane (for both flows of traffic) and made entirely of large rocks.

I gave up, came home and looked at the directions again. The actual directions are the easiest thing in the world. How the fuck google maps had picked that specific road for the zoo to be on I'll never know.

I've now decided that this is a sign that I should spend the afternoon studying for tomorrow's Genetics test and not try to cram all night. This is going to suck the big one.

I think I'm going to skip my classes on Tuesday and try again at the zoo. There is a 40% chance of thunder storms. I'm going to pray it doesn't happen. Odds are on my side, but that's never helped me before anyway. Should it not work out I may have to ask for an extension on the paper. It's due April 10, but if I have to wait until next weekend to go to the zoo, then that means I can't go over my data with the professor until the week the paper is due. I may still be able to get it done on time doing that. It's just cutting it kind of close.

Missing: Glasses

Last seen on my face while in bed reading The Golden Compass. I had fallen asleep while reading it and then woke up later in the night. But when I got out of bed this morning I couldn't find my glasses anywhere. I've looked all around my bed, thinking that maybe they fell off my face while I slept. No luck.

So what the fuck did I do with them while in a sleeping stupor?


[Edit:] I found them no more than 20 seconds after writing this. They were under the blanket that I keep at the foot of the bed. I guess they did fall off and somehow travelled down my comforter to under the blanket. Magical glasses I tell you.

Yes, you are forgetting something.

One of my favorite things about graduating soon is that I will no longer be travelling back and forth from school to home many times a year.

The reason this makes me happy is because I always inevitably leave one of my beard grooming devices behind. Recently, I left all of them.

Insult to Injury

Damages to the person's car that I hit = $700
Rental car for 4 days (when it's only being used 3) = $300

1. Why for the love of God do they need to rent a mid-sized SUV. Fine, that's the car that I damaged, I'll ASSUME that they need that size car for work. Cause chiropractors have big things to move back and forth to their practice... Yeah, that's right. I Googled you. I know where you live and work.

2. If one more person gives me the advice, "You should probably stop getting into accidents," I'm likely to committed homicide. Honestly people, you act like I have a coke addiction and I ask this to happen to me. I commit ONE accident that involves damages to someone else's car and all of a sudden I'm WISHING this upon myself. If that's all you can possibly say to me, then save it.

I can't wait for this to be over. (So I can just have something else happen)

[Edit: addition]

Up until now my brother and I have been sharing a car. We got one to share his senior year of HS (my sophomore year of college). The main reason we got it was because my brother was a pain in the ass and would refuse to take the bus to school, and always had to get picked up after sports. Then during the school year of my junior and senior I would use it and during breaks and summers he would use it.

There have always been issues with us and sharing the car. There have always been issues between us period. We're very, very different people and just don't get along in general. Sharing a car was the worst thing to ever happen to us.

Now that I'm graduating and will need the car full time it was decided to get my brother a car. When we got the first car I was given the option of a standard Toyota Highlander, or standard Subaru something. I only fit in the Highlander, so that was it. I love my car. My brother never liked it, because he somehow comes from a very different lifestyle than me. He shits on economical Japanese cars. Whereas, I shit on cars that are not at all dependable or economical.

When it came to him getting a car it wasn't a matter of him picking between two already approved cars by the parental unit. He was looking at Volvos, Volkswagon, and other luxury SUVs. He just got some fully loaded Mercury Mountaineer with more gadgets than all of my family's cars combined. Granted, my car adds nothing to that.

Am I spoiled? Absolutely. Is he spoiled? Absolutely. But was this fair? I think not. You want to know how he got the better deal? Because he's the one that bitches, moans, pleads, bargains, etc. with my parents. I never asked for a car. I was offered one and bit at the chance.

I didn't drive that car for a year. And it was offered to us 3 weeks before I went back to school, after an entire summer of biking to work. But the option of us getting the car was brought up months earlier. We only got it once threat of my parents driving my brother to school came closer to reality.

Meanwhile, my brother is the one who keeps getting moving violations raising our insurance premium, and I'm too afraid to bring my accident to light because of what may happen to our insurance premiums, thus leaving me bearing the brunt of my actions. Whereas, he gets off free.

What does this teach us? The squeaky wheel gets the oil.

Okay, I'm sorry. I know I was being a little spoiled bitch right there. I just really hate cars right now. And there are just so many more issues between me and my brother and how we're treated differently that I had to rant.

Words of Advice from Baba

Baba, the Ukrainian immigrant grandmother of my fag-hag says when looking for a boy he must

• have a good heart
• be a nice person, and loyal because you don't want them to runaway and leave you with your children
• he can't be a drug addict or an alcoholic
• "Don't hang around with gay people. They have diseases."
• "No black people, they bad people"
• "No mexicans, they mean people."
• "You have to marry your own kind, a nice Ukrainian boy." (In reality any slovic boy will do.)

It was a different time people. We think it's funny in retrospect.

The Great Balance: Work vs. Life

A lot of people have been asking me what I plan on doing after graduation (May 17), especially if I don't get into any medical schools. I tell them that even if I did get into a medical school I probably want to go to Physician Assistant school instead. I get many blank stares with this one, mostly from family. I tell them about how the physicians I meet are not all that happy with their lives, and that it seems that the profession almost dictates how you lead your personal life. People don't seem to understand what I mean when I say this. Unfortunately, I don't have any family members in medicine to better explain what I'm trying to say.

From what I can see through medical blogs and talking to people it is basically impossible to have any kind of social life during medical school and residency. That means that for the next 7 years (minimum) I will basically just be going through the system, almost isolated from the outside world. In medical school you are basically limited to hanging out with your classmates because they have the same crazy/limited schedule as you. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of the hard work. If I were afraid of work I would have dropped out of my major a looong time ago. It's the fact that for 4 years of my life, I won't have one.

Okay, fine. Let's say I do go to medical school. I'm 26 years old and finally out of school and working. I start residency and am committed to this residency for another 3 years, minimum. Some say that it is possible to have a social life, and I believe them. I'm sure it is. But lets look at the economics of the situation. Now I know some people will yell at me for bringing up money when talking about the noble profession of medicine, but I'm not talking about getting rich here. I'm talking about being able to pay bills. As a resident I'm looking to be making about 45k a year, while working 80 hours a week. (BTW, while working 80 hours a week, and sleeping 8 hours a night - ha, like that would really be happening - I would 4.5 hours a day to myself.) That comes out to $11.25 an hour before taxes. Okay, so paying off that debt from medical school won't be happening any time soon. Oh, and by this time I'm 29 (minimum) and finally starting my life, aka have a pay check to do things with. I had a breast cancer surgeon confirm that you cannot start "creating your life" until you get an attending's salary. By that I mean getting a house, car, vacation, let alone be able to finance a family. She was 39 and said she had just reached the point in her life that she had been aiming for. (Even though she was still working 12+ hour days) She also didn't want kids, but she was legitimately happy. She's the definition of "marrying your job." God bless her.

I see myself going into Internal Medicine. 1. Because that's the most interesting to me. 2. Because for the love of God I cannot, will not, spend anymore time in school. I've been told time and time again that with the debt from medical school, and the bills of regular life primary care just doesn't cut it. And by cut it I mean that between the amount of time I spent in medical school and residency the cash I would be making just isn't reasonable. If I'm going to spend that much time in school I think I deserve an above average salary. If that makes me a jerk, then so be it.

So let's look at what I could expect should I go the PA route

I take the next year "off." I apply to PA school and in the meantime get an medical office bitch job. (read as: medical assistant) We'll get back to the perks of this "year off" later.

So I start PA school at 23. Have two years where I don't have a social life. Fine, I can handle that, especially since I just had a year off. Come out of it at 25, still ahead of the game compared to medical school.

Now if I go PA I think I will definitely want to be a surgical PA. The reason for this is because I know that PAs see the routine in whatever field they go into, and honestly the routine in primary care is just not going to cut it. I need to be a little more stimulated than seeing cold, after cold, after cold. After working in the ER I don't think I could handle the routine there even if I was a physician. I hope that as a surgical PA I would be able to do a lot of pre and post-op care, but even if I was mainly first assisting I think it would still be a cool deal. What specialty to go into as a PA is a totally different post. So depending on whether I did a PA residency or not I start actually working at 25/26, as opposed to the 29 (min) of being a physician.

Now lets look at the PA economic deal. 2 years of PA school < 4 years of medical school. The salary of a surgical PA I estimate to be anywhere in the range of 80-120K. This is plennnnty of money for me to live happily. (taking into the consideration the investment I put in to get to this point) Whereas the average IM-physician averages something like 150K. And he has more debt to take care of, spent more time to get there, and I presume dedicates more of his life as an attending to work than a PA does. I've also had physicians specifically tell me that from an economic point of view PAs win out.

Then there is my whole personal life situation to take into account. I've recently "come out" (I fucking hate that expression) and am a bit socially retarded when compared to my peers. And I don't mean "retarded" in terms of intelligence, but as in I'm "behind" in the game. If you think about it I have the dating experience of a 13 year old. I have some life experiencing to make up for, something that that "year off" could definitely come in handy for. Also, should I ever decide to start a family the flexibility of being a PA comes into play. I could either work as the "bread winner" or I could be the stay-at-home-dad and easily get some per diem work.

I think too much.

So this is the end (for now) of the longest post in the history of my blog. I don't know why you bothered reading the entire thing. My life is not that interesting.

PS - I'm not editing this beast. I'm not as dedicated to my blog as some others.

Spring Break '08

Spring break has been pretty uneventful so far, and is likely to remain that way.

For St. Patty's Day I went into "the city" with 6 of my friends. I thought that it was kind of a weird mix of people, even though we're all close friends, but it turned out to be a fantastic night. We've yet to have a bad night when we venture into "the city."

The other day we went to a Dave and Buster's, which i had never heard about. It was a very cool atmosphere. Bowling, bar, food, arcade games (which don't work after I buy credits for them).

An interesting topic has been coming up regularly this break, the man crush. You know when one guy just loooooves hanging out with another guy in a completely non-sexual way. One of my friends seems to have a million man crushes going on at any given time. He just starts obsessing with hanging out with them, getting chicks with them, doing EVERYTHING together. It's kind of funny to witness.

I read an interesting socio-biological journal article about males bonding with each other. They hypothesized that the "man crush" is a way for a lesser man to climb the social ladder by become associated with "higher up" males. They said this this is clearly seen to happen in some primates. It also went a little further saying that this could also lead to sexual relations with males, where the lesser male is generally the submissive of the two. This was very common practice in ancient greece and other old societies. It's even seen a lot today. It is very common in the gay culture for younger men to be attracted to older men, 10+ years. This is especially true for the younger gay males. I have to admit myself that I'm often surprised by how many "older" guys I find attractive. Whether that remains true as I get older is yet to be seen. But still you see this all the time at bars. A guy's "wing man" is often of a "lower rank" than the primary guy. But the wing man seems to be just slightly more desirable because of who he's associated with. Trust me, I'm fully aware that this is not the intent for using wing men, but it's an interesting observation.correlation nonetheless.


PS - all of a sudden I'm getting all these comments. Did I recently leave a comment somewhere that sparked some people wandering over here?

PPS - I'm thinking maybe I'll start writing about some more socio-biological topics, since I LOVE IT SO MUCH.

Why I Looooove the Midwest

I'm not going to go into my trip to Ohio this weekend, because if I did then that would solidify the fact that it actually occurred. In fact, I'm possibly crossing that line right now.

Sally Kern, I'm sorry that the gays harassed you for wearing white after labor day and telling you that wearing over-sized sweaters was out of style. But I don't think that exactly constitutes terrorism.

Scratch That

Remember how I complained how all that vertebrate classification was taking up valuable space in my brain?

Jeopardy question (abridged): Proboscidea = ???

ELEPHANTS!!!!! w00tw00t


okay, back to six hours studying cat muscles.

OB/GYN = gross.

An open bucket laid at my feet. I open to it find several of dead sharks curled together in murky, green, gross water. I grab at one and as I pull up it feels like its vertebrae and separating and cracking. I decide that this is not the shark for me, so I pull at an easier one.

On its ventral (belly) side I saw some kind of protrusion, but didn't pay attention to much. I thought it was some kind of fin. I went to the sink and rinsed it off.

Well into dissection the "fin" catches my eye again. I then notice a little dark dot on it, and initially was like, "Oh wow, I had no idea that sharks had markings that gave the impression of a fake eye, and thus make predators attack the wrong end." But then I looked a little closer and realized this thing was not a flat fin. It was round. The next thing to come to mind was Lamprey. This is probably because I have the classification of vertebrates stuck in my head and Lamprey are VERTEBRATA-PISCES-AGNATHA-CYCLOSTOMATA-PETROMYZONTIFORMES!!! Ugh, the memory space lost because of this class..

I digress.

It then hit me like a tone of bricks. This wasn't a Lamprey. THIS WAS A MOTHER FUCKING BABY SHARK HANGING OUT OF THIS MOTHER SHARK'S VA-JAY-JAY! I honestly have no idea how this didn't catch my attention faster. I guess I'm kind of slow. But there is the distinct possibility that it hadn't slid out until after I had been messing around with it on the table, and that I made up preconceptions in my head.

I tell my table and they, along with the rest of the lab, explode with interest. They then encourage me to pull the sucker out. I definitely hesitated, since I have no idea how to deliver a baby shark. Basically, I grabbed the tip of it's head right between the eyes and gingerly pulled. It was a little tough at first, but eventually came out very easily. (Human women should look into somehow getting on top of this.) So we all ohh and ahh, and someone tells me to look in the hole for more. Boy were there more. Ultimately, we dissected the abdomen and squeezed out FOUR more pups, each of them covered in "yolk." One of them even had its yolk still attached and intact.

I'm not going to lie. I was legitimately grossed out by the entire thing. I only pulled out 3, and gladly allowed others do the rest since they wanted to. I think this means that I'm ill-suited for any career in OB-GYN. In general I should just stay away from vagina at all costs.

Now if I could only get my girlfriends to stop coming to me for advice about their birth control. There is only so many ways I can tell them, "I DON'T HAVE A UTERUS, AND HAVE NO EXPERIENCE WITH BIRTH CONTROL. LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Okay, Now Fuck Myself.

2 weeks ago, pulled over for talking on a cell phone while driving. Love how they catch me the one time I don't put it on speaker phone.

I'm told be a very reliable source that I should: 1. Buy a headset before the court date. 2. At the hearing I'll be asked if I owned a headset before the ticket. 3. I should respond with a certain answers. And that this will probably end up getting me off.

It seemed too easy, but I was told that it's a "community education" thing, and they're really just trying to get people to buy headsets.

Last night, I drive to Best Buy to get said headset for the "hearing" that was today. While doing that I get into my first car accident that was entirely my fault. Nothing major - I just rear ended a guy at a stop sign cause I thought he was pulling into traffic, and evidently wasn't. I had been to preoccupied looking to see if traffic was clear to move into. I'm so stupid.

Thank God the people were okay, and the only damage done was his car losing a reflector. We got a police report done, and I gave the other driver my name and number and told him to call me in case he notices more damage or anything when it's light outside. Funny enough, the only thing I had to write my number on was an auto repair business car. I insisted to him that my family did not own said company. I got a laugh out of him.

Back to the first car incident.

I go to court this morning, and walk to the "plea counter" after being the only person to set off the metal detector in a line of very, very sketchy individuals. The smells were interesting to say the least.

I pled "not guilty" and made myself look like a moron by asking the woman what the point was of checking "yes" when asked if I wanted a deposition. I'm still not entirely sure why I would check "no" if I pled "not guilty." I'm sure that will come back to bite me in the ass.

The woman then takes my ticket, and in a very authoritative manner stamps it and says without looking at me, "Your court date will be in 3-6 months. You'll receive something in the mail."

WHAT?!?!?!?!? I'm probably not even going to be living hear in 3 months!!!!! I leave the "court room" (read as: ticket counter) totally befuddled, wondering what the hell just happened. I even went back after getting in the elevator to confirm with a court officer that I indeed had to come back again in the distant future. Unfortunately, I was right.

I then get home and decided that this is the right time to see if I would have gotten any points on my license for this offense. The answer is no. I would pay a maximum fine of $100 with a $50 surcharge. When it is all said and done, I will probably end up changing my plea to "guilty" and paying the fine.

So lets recap what I've accomplished. I got into a car accident, which God knows how much it'll cost me. Bought a crappy headset that I'll never use (because I prefer using speakerphone) that cost me $21. Woke up at 6:30AM, when I didn't have to be up until 9AM. And will still probably pay the $150 traffic ticket.

You know what this tells me? I should have been pre-law. Oh... and look forward, if you plan on driving forward.

Fuck Science

I went into a legit depression today in the lab. That's not something that happens too often.

I was peeling and picking away at the facie surrounding my cats muscles and I just could not make anything out. I kept picking, and realized I didn't even know what to look for. I had no idea what I should be cutting away, no idea how to continue studying in general. I look at this dead animal and see nothing distinctive. The only thing that sticks out in my mind is "WTF AM I DOING HERE?!?!?"

I don't have the "it" factor required to be a science major. What that "it" factor is, I don't know. But when I look at the people who do have it, I sometimes hope I'll never have it. I see the people working in the field that i think I want to go into and I hope that I will never turn out like them. Why wouldn't I turn out like them? As I've come to realize I'm not all that different from other people. There is no reason to think that I will turn out differently.

I am coming out of college with some very strong interests though. Animal Behavior, Evolutionary Pscyh., Ethics. They're topics I enjoy reading about, enjoy talking about, things that I REALLY understand. They're things that I enjoy teaching others about, and love getting other people interested. I think this is something that have a knack for, have that "it" factor.

Who knows, maybe I can turn that into a career somehow.

Completing the Metamorphosis

I've come to love watching my daily Bravo! reality show at 10PM and then moving over to Lifetime for an hour of Will and Grace, Fraiser and Golden Girls.


Friend: That's really gay.


Either that, or I've completed my change into a 40 years old women. That would explain the eating peanut butter with chocolate chips straight from the jar.

ER Repeats

Why is it that every time I watch ER on TNT I see the same 3 episodes.

1. Dr. Green dies.

2. Small pox.

3. Episode after small pox.


I literally have probably seen each of these episodes 4 times. I need to stop having such impeccable coincidental timing.

How to Lose Your Eye Sight

This week's adventures brought us to the medical center's radiology department. I thought I would have a chance at meeting some happy doctors here, since radiology is one of the "lifestyle" fields. (ROAD - radiology/radiation oncology, ophthalmology, anesthesiology, dermatology) First I joined one of the physicians doing some films readings. Lots of ultra-sounds and CTs. I couldn't tell the difference between a fetus, a kidney, or a gall bladder on the ultra sounds. The physician was very happy when I responded to the question "what do you see here," with, "Absolutely nothing." He went on a little rant about how so many people are full of bullshit nowadays, and it's nice to hear someone actually say the truth, and doctors forget how many people are working alongside with them, and they become really self-centered and ego-centric. I've realized that physicians like to rant, and hit many topics at the same time. Then he started to go through some CT scans. I would say that he was scrolling in and out of slides at a rate of about 20 slides/second. It kind of made my head hurt. He commented that when most people watch him read CT scans they fall out of their chair. Good thing I was standing. He also spoke crazy, crazy fast into his recorder, and cursed, a crazy, crazy amount. I mean I'm definitely not shy about coloring my language. But this was just down right excessive.

Then I was following one of the PAs around as he preformed some tests. I got to see a CT-guided biopsy and an ultra-sound guided biopsy. Both of which were infinitely cooler than reading films.

Back in the reading room I started asking each of the PAs how long they had been in their profession and what other specialties they had been in. I was surprised that they had all been in other fields, since I had previously heard that most PAs stayed in one field because the learning curve was too great to want to change fields. Evidently that's not the case. And that makes me happy.

At the end of the day I told one of the PAs that I think I was leaning towards PA over medical school. He gave out cheer in jubilation saying that I was joining "the team." This was something that no physician has ever done in my life. The PA I shadowed was legitimately happy with his job and he's been working in the profession for over 20 years. This was very reassuring. After the PA had his moment a physician walk in from around a corner and said something along the lines of, "Yeah, that's definitely the smarter move from a totally economical point of view." I was kind of surprised about this because this wasn't something that I had heard from physicians before. He didn't actually seem to hate his job, and even he was telling me to become a PA.

Score another one for PA school.

Making Decision Making Easier

My new internship started this week. I'm required to write a journal entry for each week, so I thought I would share this one.

Week 1 – Inpatient Service
I had high anticipation for this rotation because Internal Medicine was a field that I thought I wanted to go into. Unfortunately I didn’t get to see any patients because somehow all of my preceptor’s patients had been discharged the previous day. Instead I was shown around the many different areas of the hospital and got a very good foundational idea of how the hospital is arranged and interacts with each other.
I also had a talk with one of the physicians about his feelings on his profession in general. He basically summed up all of the non-verbal impressions I had gotten from former physicians I shadowed by candidly telling me how miserable his field is. He told me straight that it can be a very painful profession and that I should be “pre-law.” When I asked my preceptor if it was likely that I would meet a physician that would say differently she said, “probably not.”
I don’t consider today to be a bad experience though. I was happy that the people I met were so straightforward with me. The main question I wanted answered going into this internship was “do physicians invest too much into their profession.” I found out today that it seems like they really do. As of now I’ve determined that being a PA would provide me with enough professional fulfillment, but at the same time require less of an investment of my personal life.



Yeah... I didn't hear one positive thing about being a physician. My nurse practitioner preceptor said that she keeps hearing that all the pre-med student want to become PAs and that it worried her. But at the same time she by no means endorsed the physician profession.

Trying to Get Hawt

I'm not sure when this happened but all of a sudden I became 6'4'' and 210lbs. The height part wasn't the surprise. Forever, even during the early college years, I was about 185lbs - I think...

I've been now exercising for about 7 months - not that intensely - and I haven't seen any real changes in my weight. I think I have put on more muscle than I had before, but lately in pictures I see a gut and double chin. WHEN THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN?!?!

I think one thing that might have happened was that I did put on muscle, but somehow never burned any fat.
This could be because I still had a very high carb diet - especially loads and loads of sugar from orange juice - , which kept my insulin levels up, which we all know suppresses the break down of fat.

I have since decided to try the Atkins diet for a couple of weeks. I'm going to see how low I can bring my weight and then gradually move back to my former diet and see if I can maintain my status.

I've been on it for a couple of days and I already see weight loss. It's pretty neat. I'm pretty sure I'm still getting enough calories per day, and not just being anorexic. I'm also monitoring my body fat %, which when this all started was about 16-17%. Gross...

I'll keep you updated.

TV Woes

I wish I wasn't sitting here in bed watching Californication by myself, being pathetic and thinking how David Duchovney is hotter at 47 than I ever will in my life. Ugh, I wish I had good hair. Fuck you DHT.

I gave up watching Dexter season 2. I flew through season 1, but the fact that I keep falling asleep during season 2 is telling. How unfortunate. At least Weeds kept its mojo going through the season.

Hmm, shall I watch more Californication or should I watch some more Lost season 3. Ugh, the first half of season 3 was not good at all. More Californication it is then.

Start of Semester Stress

While passed out after surgery I got this e-mail from my advisor:

Dr. W,

I was not able to send your name to *Hospital* for an internship as we are
required to give priority to students trying to meet the 3 credit
requirement for the BIMS (Biomedical Science) major.

Sorry.

Dr. Anchient

1. I am a Biomedical Science major.
2. I have only completed 2 of the 3 required internship credits.
3. This is my last semester.

I e-mailed him back pointing out the obvious like my major and the fact I didn't sign up for this internship electively. Does he think I have nothing better to do with my time than to sign up for internships. Honestly, this man has proven to be so useless to me over the past 4 years. He never gives me advice about my schedule, he never tries to help me figure out what I'm doing with the rest of my life, but he obsesses over everyone else's life. Strike that, he obsesses over all of the girls' lives. All the guys hate him cause he totally ignores us. We'll see how this one plays out. If he gives a junior an internship spot over me, then I'm going to the dean, which won't accomplish anything because I think my advisor is retiring next year anyway. Evidently he has decided that 43 years of teaching at the same place is enough. Too bad I got him in the years he lost his mind.

Post-Op

Having the wisdom teeth removed hasn't proven to be the most terrible thing so far. At first I was totally miserable, sitting in bed trying to sleep without any pain meds with these gross gauze pads shoved in my mouth. Then my dad came back with some hydrocodone, but said that the surgeon instructed me to only take them an hour after eating. I had never heard of taking medicine a certain amount of time after eating, only taking medication with food. I wasn't going to chance it though because if I threw up I knew I would never take it again, and the torture would last indefinitely. Plus, I was in no good state of mind when these instructions were given, since I was coming out of anesthesia and all. At the time the only thing I was thinking about was asking the surgeon if I could shadow him one day. I'm just a loser.

Once I got some oatmeal in me and could take my hydrocodone I was good to go. And no, I don't mean I was high. I actually don't see what the big fuss is all about. I didn't get dizzy, light-headed, high, confused. The pain just simply went away. If anything I would just get tired and sleep for an hour or two. I guess this might have something to do with the fact that I never "crave" alcohol, become addicted to going to the gym or get a "runner's high." Not having a addictive personality seems to be a good thing.

I'm also not oozing blood anymore. Which means I shouldn't have to expect a blood drool stain on my shirt. That was fairly gross.

The only bad thing is that my cheeks look like they have tennis balls shoved under them. I'm petrified that the swelling isn't going to go down, but everyone assures me that it will. Ice doesn't prove to be much help. Oh well, we'll see what happens. I must say though it's a very strange sensation to have these fluid filled pouches hanging from your face.

You Know It's Time for School to Start Again When...

You call your oral surgeon to ask what you have to do in preparation for your wisdom tooth extraction the next day just to find out that it's not tomorrow, but in two days.

I legit thought today was Thursday. I've been on break for too long. I have no concept of time.

I need to go back to school.

True Story(?): Mother Knows Best

My 12 year old sister and mom went to battle today about what she should wear to the Hannah Montana concert tonight. My mom asked how dressed up she should be. To be quite honest, I don't think it makes a damn difference. I remember being young and having my mom over dress me for some Nickelodeon concert/game show thing when I was younger. And even when I was 9 I knew I was over dressed. My uncle then interjected telling us to "take it easy" and "mother knows best." I bit my tongue from saying anything, although I resented being spoken down to like that when I'm almost 22 years old.

Two minutes later what do my mom and uncle start talking about? How "crazy" their mother is, and how she has "no idea what she's talking about."

It's funny how my mom is constantly mad at me about how I treat her, but at the same time she's still doing the same thing with her parents. It would seem that the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Snobby Geckos

First let's start with one of my favorite Geico Commercials:


Yesterday was the annual family Christmas Party, where the 17 cousins exchange their Secret Santa Gifts. I also exchanged gifts with my aunt. I don't really know how we came about exchanging gifts, as opposed to me giving gifts to any other aunt or uncle, but it came to be. It turned out to be Snob-a-riffic. I got The Film Snob's Dictionary. And I gave her this great Threadless tee.

The snobbery didn't end there though. Today I was reunited with my Literature and Music Snob counterpart. We went to Borders, because Barnes and Noble is far too mainstream with their Starbucks and all. I was looking for Paste magazine for my dad, since he seemed to enjoy the free ones that magically started coming to our house. He's getting a subscription to it. I also got him a subscription for The Economist. So that filled my Music and World Affairs snobs quota of the day. I also got myself some magazines; GQ, Men's Health and Skeptic, which helped fill my Health, Hygiene, Style and General Intellectual quota in one great sneer. (And consequentially my Gay quota too)

We then decided to head over to Blockbusters to make fun of the movies for rental, and possibility get one if by some slim chance we saw something we liked. While there I proved that my "gay-movie-dar" is significantly stronger than my normal gaydar. At the sight of the cover of Amnesia: The James Brighton Enigma I can be quoted saying, "What, he woke up and had to come out of the closet all over again?" My friend then looked at the back cover and told me it was about someone who wakes up remembering only that he's gay. I'm truly amazing. This can be added to my list of super powers. My other one is being able to convince others that I'm right, even when I insist to them that I'm not sure and could be totally wrong. Unfortunately for those people, I'm normally right, in the sense that I'm wrong...

We ended up renting Spider-Man3. You may think that this goes against my movie snob senses - another power on the list - but really it didn't. The reasons I chose this were multi-fold. 1. I hadn't seen it yet, and had to finally know if MJ died. *CROSS FINGERS* 2. I heard it was terrible and thought it would be fun to make fun of it throughout the entire thing. 3. My friend is in love with Spider-Man and cried at how bad it was after seeing it in theaters. I thought this posed a great chance to get back at him for harassing me at how bad the third X-Men (my love) was.

Blockbuster fucked with me though. When I opened the DVD case I was shocked to see that no, not Spider-Man3 was there, but something equally terrible. I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. Enraged, I did my best Tina Fey impersonation as described by my friend. Fuming in the car I thought of what I would say to the obviously self-loathing Blockbuster employee. "How did you not notice the wrong movie in the case when you opened it to put my receipt in there? Were you angry at me because I was renting that movie? Cause I'll have you know that I'm 5x's the movie snob you are, regardless of your girth. Did you think it would be funny? Cause there is NOTHING funny about I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry!" But instead I continued with the Tina Fey impersonation and stood in line waiting to get a substitute copy, swearing under my breath.

The outcome? Yes, it was indeed one of the stupidest movies of all time, and regret picking it over Ocean's 13 - prime chance for some eye candy. Firstly, Thomas Hayden Church is a terrible, terrible actor. Every scene he seemed to grow increasingly more confused as to what he was suppose to do. How about this idea: act. I now understand why he was casted for the role of the failed actor in Sideways, because it didn't require acting.

It wasn't all his fault, though. His character Sandman is innately stupid. A guy falls into a pit of sand, where what can only be assumed to be radioactive beams are spun around him, the actual target being the sand. Through some nice graphics the nucleotides which previously constructed his DNA are replaced with sand. Why the models of DNA that I've made with sand have never become sub-par acting villains I'll never understand. Another thing, WTF was the point of that experiment. What were those scientists hoping to gain from shooting radioactive beams at sand? Radioactive sand? WTF is radioactive sand good for? Okay, I'll stop trying to make sense of a comic book plot.

Another thing to note: People with high self-esteem, and have a way with the ladies do know look like this. Peter Parker is by no means an exception.

However, I was successful in keeping myself amused by mocking the movie throughout its duration, and consequently making my friend miserable.

That's all for now. I hope everyone has some very festive Politically Correct Days!

Dear State DMV

Thank you for making it absurdly easy to change my address. You were faster, and saved me more than calling Geico! I'll work on getting you a funny British reptile. You deserve it.

-DW

Developments

Evidently my family was dropped from our auto insurance company. How did this happen? Through sheer team effort.

1. I was in a car accident almost two(?) years ago. I wanted to link to that post, but for some reason I can't find it... Let me jog your memory. They turned across two lanes, hit me, didn't speak english, and of course wasn't licensed.

2. My dad was recently in a car accident (and I suspect more on record...)

3. My brother has been pulled over twice and has points on his license (I suspect more. And he's only been legal to drive for 1 year 3 months)

So now I'm getting my own plan cause it's cheaper, and I'm lucky enough to have my brothers on on it under me. Super. There goes that driving record.

This has helped me plan to get a job as soon as I can, so I can become totally independent from my family. It's just a matter of deciding which grandparents to live with. :-/

Observations from the Library

Girls, don't take this the wrong way. This is not me judging you as a slut, or trashy, or what not based off your clothing.

But...

Wearing just an Under Armour top without a sports bra makes you look like a hoozy. And if you people out there are saying, "But what if she went for a run!?" That's fine. But you're obviously not going for any run in HIKING BOOTS.

Finals Week

Tomorrow I'm taking my Vertebrate Physiology test. Thank God it's not cumulative. I can't even imagine what that test would be like. Oh wait, exactly like any standardized test taken in medical school, except a 1000x's harder. I'm basically destined to get a B in that class. Not the end of the world, but not that extra boast needed to make a case to get off the wait list at that one school. I'm a B student, always have been, always will be, regardless of what it is I'm doing.

I have my Bioethics final on Friday. Haven't really studied for that yet, and I'm kind of behind on my reading. Should make cramming tomorrow interesting. Again, I'm destined for a B in that class. Which is kind of ridiculous because I'm really very good when it comes to applying ethical theories and critical thinking. I really am so much smarter than my grades show, but no one knows that unless they know me. Everyone in my classes comes to me for the answers like I'm the genius, but they all get better grades than me.

For instance, this girl was asking me to explain the trans-pulmonary pressure difference caused during inhalation. So I'm explaining what the pressure difference really means in terms of (force from particles)/(unit space). As you increase the volume of the inter-pleural space, you decrease the pressure, thus the force on the walls of the membrane. This then allows for the pressure (force) in the alveoli to have a greater effect against the membrane, aka stretch it until the force on both sides is equal. By increasing this volume of the avleovi you decrease the pressure, which allows air from outside to move down the pressure gradient from outside, blah, blah, blah. She still doesn't understand this and says, "I'll just memorize it." She will. And she'll get a better grade than me. Memorizing will get you anywhere in school. Sucks for me! When it comes to applying the information to practical use I would put money down that I would be the best of my year. Have I convinced you that I smart year? No? That's okay, none of the med schools believe me either. Fucking Grades.

Rant over.

So anyway, that's basically why I have a hard time getting into medical school. Cause I'm the shittiest memorizer ever. Comparative Anatomy is going to be a BLAST next semester.

And Jen T. - I don't know what the snow belt even refers to. The lake effect area around the great lakes? Needless to say, no, I'm not from around there.

Soon grades will be coming. I will send my updated transcript to whoever cares to see it, and the final real plans will be made. No more of this impulsive speculation bullshit. I think I'll be most likely spending the summer taking biochem and venepuncture/EKG certification programs. And then afterwards getting a job as a medical assistant and doing that for the year, while applying to PA school. I'm starting to think being a PA would be better for me. Medical school just sounds sooo miserable. And I could easily live the lifestyle I want on a PA income, and I could move on with my life soooo much faster, since PA school is two years and NO RESIDENCY!!!!

Peace.

Snooooooow

Dear Dr. Wannabe's Academic Institute,

20 minutes notice is NOT sufficient heads up time that classes are cancelled, since some people leave MORE than 20 minutes before class starts when there is inclement weather. Get your head in the game, so that next time this is avoided.

Yours truly,
DW

PS - Thank you for the snow day.

Family History Catching Up

Last Friday I went out to the local watering hole with a few of my fellow academic colleagues. At the end of the night we proceeded to go outside and catch a cab to our respective homes. Unfortunately, there wasn't a cab in sight. In hindsight I'm SURE there would have been another one had we waited, oh, 2 minutes. But alas, I was out with people on the track team. And since I don't live more than a mile from the bar they decided we would run home because it was like 20 degrees outside. I was totally against running because 1. I can easily handle the cold (no, not because of my beer over coat), 2. I didn't feel like making a scene by having 5 white preppy guys running through the ghetto, 3. running without arch supports is a bad idea for someone with terribly flat feet.

Needless to say, we ran. Within the first 10 steps I immediately regretted this. But I toughed it out. I generally have a pretty high tolerance for pain, and lets not forget that my pain threshold was most likely elevated due to the nights activities. By the time we got to my apartment I could barely stand. My left knee (lateral) was killing me.

The next couple of days were pretty rough. I wore my arch supports everywhere I went - including my Science Prom which was the next day. Boy were those dress shoes snug. By Monday or Tuesday I wasn't having that much pain anymore, and today I had absolutely no pain at any point of the day. Last night I even did some weightless weight-training (that's not a typo) and there was no problem at all. Today I hit the gym and started doing my typical running routine. If I had to sum that up in one word, I would choose, "ouch." If I had 4 words at my disposal I would say, "THAT MOTHER FUCKING SMARTS!!!" I decided to nix the running and instead did a painless granny power walk for double the amount of time.

I decided to look up some possible diagnoses for my problem. I came to two likely problems. The better of the two is an IT-band irritation. The worse of the two a torn meniscus. There didn't seem to be any home tests to do to diagnosis an IT-band problem. But for the meniscus they said if you hold your hand against the sides of the knee and feel a "popping," it could be a meniscus problem. So I did such, and felt a definitive protrusion, which may be considered a "popping." To double check I did the same thing to my other knee, which doesn't hurt. Nothing. There is a definite difference between the knees.

This sucks.

My plan of action is to give it a full week of no high impact exercise, which is going to really piss me off, since I just got into this running thing. If the "popping" doesn't seem to improve, and/or running still hurts I guess I'll have to schedule an orthopedist appointment. But my school also has an athletic training program, and I know that there is a class in the Vertebrate Physiology lab tomorrow. I plan on going there after class pretending to do work in the lab and in passing ask them for their insight. I'm sure glad I struck up conversation with the instructor earlier in the semester.

As for the title of the post, my family on my dad's side has notoriously horrible knees and I very much take after my dad's side. Until now I never had any problems, which is probably due to the fact that I was all that much into sports when I was younger. Regardless, I guarantee the first words out of my mom's mouth is, "Yep, those are father's family's genes for you." She blames all biological problems on them. Personally I'd rather their issues than her side's.

Recap: CNN/You Tube Republican Debate

After watching the CNN/You Tube debate I'm now actually a Giuliani fan, instead of just picking him cause I agree with him the most. Also I realize that I despise Romney. I called him out on being the Kerry of the Republican Party. He didn't answer any of the questions definitively, which leads me to believe that he only says what people like to hear. I was also surprised that I didn't dislike Huckabee as much as I thought I would, but that's because he's a charming guy and didn't take a stance on anything either. I thought McCain did a good job of making/defending his points, but at the same time I don't think he ever talked about non-Iraq topics. Everything always seemed to come back to some war with him. Ron Paul I thought came off as a crazy, and he seems to think that everything in the world works out for the best when you have no laws, taxes, regulations or pose any external influence on anyone. Some of that I like in theory, but he's not practical. Thompson I didn't feel made a case for himself. He was just there, speaking occasionally, but I got no sense of who he was.

PS - Anderson Cooper is the man, and I thought he did a great job moderating, and calling candidates out when they weren't answering the questions.

I'm Crazy

I'm reconsidering getting some lame job after school, and now looking into MPH - Epidemiology.

I like the city selection that the schools are in (Boston, Seattle, NYC, Atlanta, Minnesota); Leaves open the opportunity to reapply (with something added to my application); I could get a job (CDC seems to have lots of openings).

The applications never end.

The effect of an 80 on a VP test

I'm accepting the fact that I'm a B student, and an overall only mediocre science student on the basis of grades. Where does this leave me?

I feel like there is something else that I'm suppose to do, simply because there must be something I excel at. I know I'm brighter than most (ha, right. keeping telling yourself that), but science is obviously not something that I'm exceptional at, relative to the other students.

Am I ignoring other possibilities because of the pressure I feel from the success of my friends?

Use Your Words

As I expected last night I had one of my crazy anxiety-induced dreams, where I have a hard time separating dream world from reality. I went to bed freaking out, worrying about how I was going to get certified in venipuncture. I then spent my night dreaming that I didn't know how to do it, couldn't learn to do it, had a hard time finding a job with the skill at hand. It was a bad night's sleep. I wish I were so crazy.

My final Add/Drop period started today. I was unsure whether I was going to be adding any classes because my advisor never told me whether First Aid/CPR was going to count towards my major electives. I finally had enough of his lack of communication and called him today asking. Evidently it was no problem and the chair of the department and told the registrar to allow it. Couldn't someone have notified me that the problem had be rectified? Whateves.

Spring 2008 - The End
Genetics w/ Lab
Comparative Anatomy w/ Lab
Animal Behavior
First Aid/CPR
Internship - Hospital Rotations
Karate

I'm Useless

I'm qualified for NOTHING.

My backup plan for next year when I reapply is to get a job as a medical assistant somewhere. Criagslist has a plethora of listings, but they almost all require experience in venipuncture, something I will not have learned in school. How do I go about it.?I found a school that has a 90 hour certification program. Does that cut it?

MO: Not living at home next year.

Rockstar Awesome

Some people claim to get signs from the universe that it's time to do something. Others think you're just more selectively sensitive to your environment to things that are on your mind. Regardless, this played after Battlestar Galactica: Razor made me happy. (something that has been happening more often)

Patting Myself on the Back

I'm going to talk about how great I think I am, because I'm sick of only thinking about how terrible I am at school.

I've recently realized that I'm a fairly well adapted person. I'm pretty good at keeping things in perspective and staying objective. I'm good at analyzing myself and calling myself out on certain things. This came up because I was counseling one of my friends - something I seem to do a lot. People come to me to talk, and I'm there to talk. I like talking to people and helping them gain some objective perspective on the issues in their lives. Some people are a little more resistant to acknowledging reality than others, but I normally come out making my point.

Another thing that seems to help is that I come off very non-judgmental, which isn't to say that deep down I am. I normally don't judge people by their interest or activities, or at least I don't make a moral judgment... I think this is why I get away with saying whatever comes to mind. People know that I say it not in a judging way. I'm just telling it like it is.

I often keep thinking that I should be going into psychology. Psychology was the major I was debating going into college, but it seemed to theoretical for me. I liked the harder science of biology. But when I look at what I'm naturally better at, it's always psych. I very easily relate myself to other people and help them interpret their thoughts or feelings. I'm very good at helping people communicate to themselves what they're feeling, or why they are. This isn't meant to make it sound like I tell them what they're feeling. I help them collect their thoughts and see what's really going on. I'm extremely introspective, but with an extrospective view point. Does that even make sense? I think I mean I'm good at organizing my (and others') thoughts and looking at them from an outside point of reference. Obviously, this doesn't apply to my written skills. To bad I don't think I have the interest to sit through a ton of psychology classes.

On a totally different note - I kind of wish I was more of a bitch when it came to money. I don't ask people for money if I know they're going to complain about it. I never have a problem tipping more than my fair share, and I in general don't get that worked up over the possession of my capital. Some people may say that I have no appreciation for money and take it for granted, since I was fortunate enough to never have to worry about it. But I honestly think that I just don't allow money to become that important to me. A career in medicine was never about the money for me. I just wanted to do something with my time that I didn't hate.

It's funny when my brother and I compare career goals. He's all about going into business and making money by schmoozing with people. I, on the other hand, refuse to schmooze. I abhor it. He would be disappointed with himself if he was making less than 500k by the time he's in his 30's. I on the other hand think I would be perfectly comfortable with making just around 80-100k. I might be fooling myself when I make this comment though, since I wasn't raised with this kind of total income. To be quite honest I have no idea how much money my family makes. We don't buy flashy cars, TVs or vacations, but at the same time I don't hear anything about financial woes. That's all I'm looking for. Enough to have a home with the basic amenities, and the occasional budget vacation. Expensive cars and meals are nice, but to be quite honest driving my car isn't something I really look to for enjoyment and my self-esteem doesn't need to be boasted by a status symbol car. Tons of money just seems to bring problems than it's worth.

???

I wish I had something new and exciting to post about, but I do not.

How about a Question and Answer session? Not like there are really all that many of you that read this, but whateves.

Ha ha. Watch this not get any responses.

Disclaimer: don't bother asking any identifying questions


Oh, and as for the new banner: Every political compass test I've ever taken has without fail said I was an absolute moderate. I'm against socialized health care, for civil unions, against social security, for gun laws, against tax increases, for reformed immigration laws, against current welfare system, for school vouchers, indifferent to Iraq. In the end I think I'm always just slightly more conservative.

This makes it particularly hard to pick a person whose views I agree with, but after thorough consideration I've come to support Rudy. I was actually very surprised when I came to the conclusion, but our views align the best.

Want to know where I stand on certain issues? ASK AWAY!

Poor and Fat

Lately, I never seem to be able to allow myself the time to go to the gym or food shopping. WTF

Oh wait, I just went to Boston for 48 hours last weekend. I guess the above statement is a bit of an exaggeration.

Freaking Macy's Family....

Today blows...

Last night I was up until 4AM editing my research paper on embryonic stem cell research ethics. I then proceeded to NOT set my alarm resulting in me NOT waking up for the class is was due for. I then run over to campus to give my paper to the professor, but like every professor when you need them he wasn't there. So I slipped it under his door and also e-mailed it to him. I then get home and find out that friend A is going to be much later arriving to my school than I thought. This causes friend B to be pissed that me for having to wait around even longer to go to Boston to visit friend C. While waiting for friend A I decide to go check my mail because I'm expecting the Popcorn Facotry gift from my grandma (love you gma!). It was there alright, right next to a rejection letter. Oh well, I'm not really expecting to get in anywhere anyway. Plus that school was my least favorite non-option.

With my luck I'm going to hit massive traffic on the way to Boston and my friends are going to banish me from their presence should I decided to tell them my latest news.

TTYL