Review: Amazon Kindle

This thing is effing amazing. I don't know which I like better about it: the comfort of reading from it, or the huge discounts you get.

I bought the Complete Collection of Sherlock Holmes for $2.37. That was a 67% discount! And I know it's probably a lot more comfortable reading on this thing than the super cheap generic paperback it would have come on. I also just bought SuperFreakonomics for $10, another 60% discount!

I finished my first shorter Sherlock story, A Study in Scarlet. Next I'm reading SuperFreakonomics. After that it's either going to be another Holmes, or the first Twilight. I'm not particularly proud to be reading that, but I want to see what all the hoopla is all about before I bash it (any further.)

Winter Break 2009!

I survived what is supposedly the hardest semester of PA school. Horrah! Not only did I survive, but I came out with a 3.85GPA! I'm doing so much better in grad school than college. I honestly think it's because all the tests are multiple choice. w00t!

Leading up to the break I made a long list of things I wanted to do over the break:

Get some dates on Match.com
Read on my Kindle (that I'll get on Christmas) in public places
Finish Level 2 of Spanish Rosetta Stone
Catch up on V and Flashforward
See Avatar, Up In the Air, Nine and Battlestar Galactica: The Plan
Sleep

I made quick work with the first one. I had a date planned within 3 days of joining. (And it was actually with my first choice!) And I know I said I wanted "some dates," but does it count that I have a second date planned with the same person after NYE? w00tw00t

I don't have a Kindle yet, but I have started reading Sherlock Holmes, which was the last book I attempted to read before PA school started.

Rosetta Stone is going to take time, but I've done it two nights in a row so far. I'm not going to be able to start it again until I'm back from visiting with my family.

I've watched the first 6 episodes of Flashforward, but that's really good considering the season has only had 10 episodes.

I saw Avatar today. My eyes took a little adjusting to the 3D, but it was entertaining overall. The story was pretty simple - Pocahontas meets Fern Gully, plus a splash of Jurassic Park.

You'll all be happy to know I'm back to my old ways of going to bed late, and waking up later.

It's good to be on break. I refuse to allow the fact that I'll be in my mid-20's once the next semester starts ruin it.

Almost There

I promise a recap on the year is coming.

Lab Medicine, Clinical Application, Pathophysiology are the in the past.

Pharmacology, Medicine and Anatomy await me next week.

You have no idea how much I look forward to this winter break.

Elective Rotation

Chosen. Medical ICU. Done&Done.

PA Hopeful Interviews

I have realized that going to interview sessions to answer applicant questions is an AWESOME place to meet people. It's encouraged for me to ask question of people, and not weird when you give them your contact information. And I'm the only single gay in my class. NO COMPETITION

Look out of your a cute guy interviewing at my schoool ;-)

Dr. K!!!!

Dr. K why has your blog, That Mirror Belongs to Frank, been closed to meeeeee. Please let me into your life, because I live vicariously through blogs. The current status of mine is far to boring to keep my sane. You were just getting to the fruits of your labor!

E-mail me!
gregoryhousepa@gmail.com

Cardiac Innervation.... about that....

So you know how I said I didn't ace Heme/Onc? I lied. I got a 93. I evidently have a knack for blood work results.

This last anatomy exam on the other hand.... That was rough goings. I have no idea what type of functional fibers go where or what innervates what... It was a mess. There were lots of "all of the following are true EXCEPT" questions. You know it's not good when you get it down to three answers and think to yourself, "Wow, I didn't know that maybe A, C and D were true! I've learned something."

Hey, if I commit those five choices to memory, then only 1/5 of my information is faulty. Testing can be a learning experience!

I predict a 56 on the written exam and a 76 on the practical. Womp womp. I accept that I can't win them all. As should all medical and PA students.

Stopped Caring and Still Succeeding

We had our Heme/Onc test today. My class threw a fit during the exam review. I personally had no beef with the test. Was it hard? Yes. The answers don't just jump out at you like other subjects. You have lots of lab values to think about before you can come up with an answer. Everyone started blaming the faculty for not preparing us enough and not telling us what to study. Are they kidding me? They give us the objectives and the tests are made from it. If one of the guest lecturers didn't cover an objective then look it up.

I don't know if anyone actually complained that the test wasn't representative of the objectives. I can't comment on this because I didn't even look at the objectives. There is an insane number of objectives. I can't effectively study if I worry about everyone of those objectives. I just study the power point notes and assume that the major stuff will be covered. It's working out okay for me. Not to toot my own horn, but I literally read over the power points once. You can effectively study from them. I didn't see anything on the test that wasn't on the power points. People were claiming that you had to study other classes' materials to do well. Not true.

However, my professor's response to their complaints threw me off the deep end. She was telling us that we HAVE TO DO THE READING and that power points aren't enough to pass. She said that we need to be staying in every weekend and doing work every single night after school. Hey lady, this weekend I didn't leave my dining room table. I literally spent over 24 hours studying last weekend. As for needing to read to pass - that is bull shit. First off, there is NO TIME to do extra reading. The amount of material in the lectures is overwhelming enough. Second off, reading is not required to pass. I'm proof of this. I've never done any of the scheduled reading and I'm doing just fine. The faculty hides behind Reading is necessary for when students call them out on not covering something.

Anyway Pathophys and Heme/Onc were not aced, but comfortably passed. That is the mission objective. Mission accomplished.

Reasons Against Primary Care:

Coumadin management.

Day off before a Pathophys test and what do I do? Studying? Hell no. I make chili and pumpkin bread for the review session later today. Duhhh

Topics on test: Eyes, Ears, Pulmonary, Cardiac, Hematology, Cellular Phys/Inflammation

Baby's First Fail

I got an estimated 78 on my Clinical Micro test last week. Passing is 80. Womp. I hate micro. It's all memorizing. There is nothing to figure out. I need ideas to put together. Things that require memorizing have never worked out well for me. If you give me a pathology where I'm asked the general symptoms or mechanism of action I often will just figure it out during the test, and not have them previously memorized.


Cry for me.

Results

Aced Dermatology, but slightly annoyed I couldn't pull off a 100.

Passed Anatomy with a greater margin than anticipated.

A Day of Revelations

I went to the podiatrist today because I always get bad leg pain when standing for too long. I figured I should finally do something about this before I had to hang out in the hospitals for long periods of time. What she told me blew my mind away. MY RIGHT LEG IS SHORTER THAN MY LEFT!!! Evidently my knees do some crazy movements in order to keep the upper half of me aligned, which she said I do very well all things considered. I don't understand the mechanics of it all but it somehow forces me to put too much weight on my heels and my knees hurts cause I move them too much when I walk. Somehow orthotics will fix this. This is also evidently why the tongues of my shoes always love laterally. Crazy.


The other revelation....

We got the rest of this semesters schedule today. Can you say 2 exams a week for the rest of the year? Strike me dead now.

This Week:

Tests in Dermatology and Clinical Microbiology.

I feel more prepared for one over the other. Can you guess which?

More Lesbians than Gays kicked out of the Army

These people are clueless. The reason there is a "disproportionate" amount of lesbians being kicked out of the military is because lesbians are much more likely to join the armed forces than gay men. Helllloooo, just look at Shambo on Survivor.

Octobre, no es bueno.

This month we have 8 exams. 2 Pharmacology, 1 Pathophysiology, 1 Anatomy, 1 Clinical Micro, 1 Derm, 1 Heme/Onc, 1 HEENT.

I so far have taken the Derm/ANS Pharm test (98) and the HEENT practical (94).

The pharm test was easy for me, but I'm nervous about the next tests because they're more names and less concept.

The HEENT practical was pretty hilarious. My class-bffl and I happened to be partnered together. He was a nervous mess. He introduced himself as a "Physician Student Assistant..... Student." Couple this with the fact that he's from the Dominican Republic and has learned English over the course of the past 4-5 years. He did a good job. The only problem was that he was having crazy coughing fits. He didn't cough all day except for this. It was kind of funny how many times he had to stop to cough. But the thing that got my professor literally bending over laughing was when he was doing the otoscopic exam on me and just started coughing all over my face. She also was the fear in my eyes when he was checking my throat. Why not guarantee I get the Spanish Influenza and cough right into my throat! It was also really funny how high he jumped and how loud he yelled when he was racking his brain for the thing he missed. "THE SINUSES!!!!!"

I think I took the cake though. I went through my practical and at the end I asked how much time I had left. She told me 15 minutes, half the total amount of time. I MUST have forgotten something huge. I had never gone through the examination that fast. I went through all my motions and couldn't figure it out. I don't know how it dawned on me, but I remembered. In a state of shock and embarrassment I said aloud, "O-M-G, I didn't take vitals." My friend and professor both gave the biggest sighs of relief once I said that.

Today I took the Anatomy test. That was not good. The written part I think I did fine (read as: passing) because I knew AT LEAST half the answers and the rest I was able to get down to two possible answers. I'm assuming I follow the laws of probability.

The practical on the other hand. God who knows. I'm just hoping for passing. Thank god they made this class pass/fail.

How Not to Help the War

While on line to get a required flu shot

RN: So why did you want to be a PA and not a nurse?
Roommate: Because I don't want to wipe ass.

fin.


This is not considered helpful in terms of mending the gap between nurses and PAs.

Accomplishment

Visual contact of the Fundus: check.

My Life Challenge

I one day want to treat a DIC patient, and keep them alive. Critical care gives me a hard on.

Relationships

I have always been told that med and PA school will break relationships. This idea has not yet deterred me from still trying to meet people and get myself into a relationship. But recent events have made me think that maybe I'm lucky for not being successful in my endeavors.

Roommate has been in a relationships since freshman year of college, the past 5 years. Last year they stayed together strong, even though they were multiple states away from each other. This year they live in adjacent states, very close to each other, and shit couldn't be going worse. It has been well agreed what the cause of this issue is. GF is not liking the fact that he has a whole new life and she's "stuck" at home, not meeting new people, not where she wants to be professionally, etc. She feels neglected, and I say honestly and objectively that she has no reason to feel like this. I call my friends out when they treat their significant other like shit. Roommate is easily the greatest BF I've ever met, and she's letting her insecurities get in the way of seeing the true situation at hand. Trust me when I say there has been a lot of drama going on.

I have become chief adviser/therapist/bro to Roommate. Not an unfamiliar role, but more intense since this was a relationship that was looking towards marriage - something that people my age are only starting to breach. I've provided all the analysis and advice I can. I know that I'm dead on, and I know that if I were listened to there would be the greatest likelihood for success. This is the kind of stuff I do, and I strive at it. Roommate agrees with my analysis, but isn't heeding my treatment plan because it goes against his philosophy of "picking your battles." I've yet to convince him that this is a battle worth fighting.

The weirdest part about all of this is how emotionally taxing this is on me. I have legit anxiety about all of this, and can't even imagine what Roommate is experiencing. (Especially since we're probably finding out tonight if this relationship is continuing or not tonight -gaaaaah!!!) I think it's because I really have been in the trenches, unlike other experiences. This is a good thing though. I've been trying hard to work on my empathy and being in touch with my own and others' emotions. When I was seeing patients last week I was definitely trying to reflect a little more on the situation, instead of letting their neurosis get on my nerves. I've been trying to give Roommate more emotional support as opposed to just rationalizing everything like I generally do. It's definitely weird handling the whole situation in a less "masculine" way. In the past I would probably worry about how I was coming off, not wanting to seem too "gay." But hell, that's exactly what I am and that's exactly what he's getting.

I just hope I don't lose the logical/rational side of me by embracing these new feelings. I wouldn't want to have to change this blog's title to "The Future Izzie Stevens, PA."

Round 2

Round One was a blood bath. That semester didn't stand a chance against me, but lets also remember that was only 7 credits. This upcoming semester is 19. And it's 19 REAL credits. This is going to be an entirely different ballgame.

Pathophys
Medicine
Gross Anatomy
Pharmacology
Clinical Application
Lab Science

The schedule is totally mixed up. One week we'll have Pharm once, the next week we'll have it 3 times. Basically they arrange it however the faculties schedule will allow.

I had gone back to work at the Derm office for a week. That was a terrible idea. I hate that job. That office is so freaking crazy and the job I have is so miserable. The one nice thing was that I refused to do anything in terms of phone messages, lab follow ups, prior authorizations and all that other grudge work. The first day back I tried doing all that stuff and became miserable quickly. I then realized I'm a TEMP. I was getting paid half the amount the non-college educated medical assistants. That's horse shit. So now they're getting what they pay for.

The first month of our Medicine class is Dermatology. I ready and excited for this. I'm not excited because I'm excited about dermatology. I'm excited because after looking over the course objectives I already know a lot of the material. Maybe that job will continue helping me out. Horray for me.

Semester One: Check

1 Didactic semester down. 4 to go.

3:45AM

After a (should have been longer) night of studying gastrointestinal physiology, what phone call do I get? My friend calling because (s)he is throwing up, shaking and had water poo. I honestly didn't know what to tell her. I just said you should throw up more than once before you consider the ER.

My first medical "emergency" phone call. Lame. Sleep is better.

Good Idea

Movies early on a Saturday are a good idea because:

1. You pay more than half less for the ticket.

2. You're bright and shiny for the rest of the day.

I saw Julie&Julia this morning. It was very pleasant with great acting. Check it out.

SHE'S BACK!!!!!

MICHELLE AT THE UNDERWEAR DRAWER HAS RETURNED!!!! I don't have a religion, but I think this is the joy Christians get at Easter. I knew she would come back. This was longer than her other unannounced breaks, but it was a test of faith. I PASSED.

Yay PA School

School is going very well. Tomorrow is our Physiology midterm and I'm feeling good. My mentality is that I just need to pass, and that's what the faculty keep telling us. They tell us to study to learn, not study to get A's. I'm doing just that. I feel very comfortable with the majority of the material and definitely good enough to get that B. I kind of like knowing that I don't need to know everything. I know enough to pass and that takes stress away, which I think helps me learn more in the long run.

The reason the faculty says "just pass" is because they never get asked what our grades were by employers. They care more about if we bitch and moan, work well with others, act professionally and if we passed. This is a huge difference from med school, which I didn't realize until now. In med school your grades still matter so much, especially for residency. I couldn't imagine needing to care about grades anymore. I'm sick of caring about grades and looking forward to more applications.

It's nice to know that the specialty I want won't be determined by grades, but more by my reputation and job opening. Screw you medschool!

Ethical Dilemma

Ethics is my thing, especially bioethics. They were my favorite classes in college and I was always well received in the classes. I hope to one day be on a hospital ethics committee. I'm currently taking bioethics, and it sucks. The professor is horrible. I feel she makes his opinions known way to often, which inhibits the class from telling their true feelings. I know a couple of instances where people didn't agree with what was being said in the class and specifically kept it to themselves because the professor made it so clear what (s)he thought about the issue.

The other day we had an online discussion assignment asking if we thought a patient was mentally capable to make decisions or not. Most of the class went on a tangent and answered the question by saying what they would do as the PA. There was no vagueness to this question. It clearly said, "Do you agree that this patient in mentally capable and explain?" When I read people's responses going into the details of the actions they would do, I cringed. That wasn't the question.

I thought I really killed it. I kept it within the 250 word limit. Directly answered the question and clearly explained how I came to this conclusion. 1-2-3. My response got the most replies of anyone else, and most everyone praised me for the analogy I used. One of the few people who did not was the professor. In short, the professor shat on me.

But his/her criticism was that I didn't take into account societal effects on my decision. (S)he basically didn't like my opinion on why I wouldn't have the person committed. THAT WASN'T THE QUESTION. The professor loved all the answers where people regurgitated the stupid sayings the professor had in class and showed that they cared a lot about what happened outside the clinic to third parties. I could have had a whole discussion on how the actions of the patient outside the clinic do matter at all, but I'll save it SINCE THAT'S NOT THE QUESTION.

AHHHHHH!!!!! This professor is from now on called Prof. Biased.

I e-mailed Prof. Biased highlighting my intentions in the answer and trying to avoid reading more into my answer than intended. No professor, I didn't try to argue whether it's moral to have her committed since that wasn't asked. So don't assume I was trying to do that because everyone else in the class did.

Advice

I have recently interviewed for several medical assistant positions. Although I haven't been accepted yet, I would like to ask you some questions about your experience as a medical assistant. I have a B.S. in Biology but no experience whatsoever. I know you were in a similar situation. How difficult was it for you to do certain procedures or duties? Can you please give me some advice or any tips on how to be successful and learn as much as possible?

You graduated from college. You are then totally capable of handling any medical assistant duty they throw at you. The hardest thing for me to learn was how to load a patient and get the starts of a history. It also took me a while to be comfortable taking the notes of what the assessment and plan was for each patient. But this is the stuff you learn in PA/Med school! It's not suppose to be easy. So if you go in accepting that you're probably going to suck at the beginning, then you'll be okay.

There were other things that were easy, but uncomfortable like giving an injection, doing a little cauterization during a surgery, laser treatments. But again, you have to accept that it might suck the first time you do it, but you're not going to kill the person.

Make sure you take the job that will give you the most patient contact possible. I feel like my job gave me an inordinate amount of responsibilities. I was quite literally doing the same job as the ACTUAL nurses.

In short: Accept that there is a learning curve and that you will suck at your job at first. If providers go nuts on you, don't take it to heart. They get what they pay for - an untrained new college grad.

Day 1 Report

Orientation went fine. A lot of the students put us to ease about the impossibleness of the work load. Time will tell if they're lying or not.

Roommate and I went out with a lot of the students tonight. A good time was had and I enjoy the company of everyone.

There are two guys that seem particularly cool towards me. I'm not sure if it's in my head, but Roommate says they've been really nice to him. Don't know what the deal is there. I had told one of the two of them that I'm gay when I had asked him if he wanted to live with me and Roommate. I don't know whether that's playing a role or not. I certainly don't feel like I'm bonding with the guys though. I'll keep you updated.

Physiology tomorrow. Yessss!!! My favorite!!!!

Blaaaaah

Why am I up so early (for me)?! School here I come.

Advice

Question:
I expect to be applying through CASPA next year. I was wondering' which school you're going to and why did you select it? You could help me narrow down my choices...

Sorry but I try to keep my identity anonymous, so I don't tell people where I go to school.

I wouldn't be the one to help you narrow down your choices anyway. I applied to 18 schools. My criteria for school was that it didn't require the GRE, was in a city I wouldn't hate, and I fulfilled the prereq's. Oh, I also didn't bother applying to any schools not on CASPA simply because I was too lazy. My top schools were all somewhat around my hometown, or a city that I really wanted to move to (Boston). I didn't look into things like rotation sites, curriculums, etc. I did check out the schools' PANCE pass rates, but those are generally high at every school (90+%). I was all about giving myself the greatest possible chance of getting into school. Compared to the cost of attending PA school, the application fee is nothing.

As for why I chose my school. I chose it cause it was the only 1 I got into. Lucky for me it happened to be one of those top choice schools. I got very, very lucky and plan on asking the admissions committee what it was about my application that got me in. (it wasn't the grades)

One Hair at a Time

I just went to a hair design school for my haircut. It was the first haircut this girl had ever done. She did a good job, but jesus it took forever. What generally takes 20 minutes TOPS took 2 hours. I literally took multiple naps while she cut my hair. I wasn't sure if I was suppose to tip or not, but I didn't. I figure I'm not going to be getting paid anything while I'm a student, why should she.

It was funny though because she took a lot of picture with her phone. She was very excited and proud of the work she did and she should be.

The countdown says zero, but I actually start tomorrow. Don't cry for me yet.

The Schedule

Dr. K, ask and you shall receive.

Summer I: Monday-Thursday 9a-4p
Human Physiology
Psychosocial Medicine
Professionalism and Bioethics

Fall: Monday-Friday 8a-3p
Gross Anatomy/Cadaver Lab I
Clinical Medicine I
Medical Pharmacology I
Pathophysiology
Basic and Laboratory Science I
Clinical Application I

Spring: Monday-Friday 8a-3p
Gross Anatomy/Cadaver Lab II
Clinical Medicine II
Medical Pharmacology II
Clinical Application II
Basic and Laboratory Science II
Epidemiology and Evidence Based Medicine

Summer II
Clinical Medicine III

Summer III
Clinical Medicine III
Health Promotion and Disease Prevention

Clinical Rotations: 14 Months
Internal Medicine
Pediatrics
Obstetrics/Gynecology
Psychiatry
Primary Care
Emergency Medicine
Surgery
Long-Term Care
Elective (Abroad?!)
Senior Year Capstone (Dealing with Death)
Research Methods/Master Project

My Wallet is Crying, While my Closet is in Celebration

School needs to start soon for the sake of my wallet. For the past three days I have gone shopping for clothes for school. And to make this even more difficult I just learned that Big City doesn't have sales tax on clothing. Gaaaaaah This could never end, and it needs to right now.

But on a more positive note I think I will be the most well dressed male in my program. This isn't saying much since there are only like 9 and I'm the only le gay.

HyperCare!

My prescription antiperspirant cost less than the OTC "prescription strength" one. Niiiiice.

Touchy Nurses

My friend Maria is in nursing school right now. Of my hometown circle of friends she's the only one going into health care. She also plans on eventually going on to become an NP. This is a dangerous situation because Maria is a very aggressive in your face person. I get along well with her, but you don't want to get on her bad side.

My other friend one time unknowingly started a small NP vs. PA battle. He had jokingly said something to me about coming to me when he needs the "good stuff." Maria then looked at me with a confused face and said, "But aren't you going to PA school? How will you get him the 'good stuff." She had no idea that PA could prescribe medication. I don't think she has any idea what the role of a PA is. I'm fairly sure the only PA she's ever seen on rotations was a surgical one and she admitted that they were doing hardcore work with the surgeon. But I still don't think she realize PAs see their own patients in most medical specialities.

Tonight I was playing a drinking game against her and at one point called her "Nurse Maria." She immediately got offended and said, "Whatever. I'm going to be making more money than you." I was taken aback. Not because she was so delusional about that comment, but that she thought I was trying to be offensive. I think nursing is a very respectable field. I don't compare it to being a physician or a PA because they're not the same. Nursing does their thing, and Medicine does theirs.

I try to avoid this whole NP/PA battle as much as possible. I don't judge people's performance at work based off their title. I base it off their actions. If they're a competent provider then I respect them and their opinion. I don't care if that comes from nursing, PA or medical school. Medicine is not this big secret where only med students get taught the magic words.

Classic Convo

[Watching Fox News about Palin's resignation]

Me: (After listening to grandma defending Palin on and on and on..) I'm just going to throw this out - I don't like her.
Grandma: How can you say that?! You don't even know her! I love her!
Me: I know her just as well as you do and we come to two different conclusions.
Grandma: (jokingly) I think you're just a liberal!
Me: Yes, I'm a big liberal that refuses to shave.
[I do in fact refuse to shave because regardless of what my grandparents think, facial hair is not some hippie protest and is actually my attempt to look hot. I've got the Grey's Anatomy scruff going on for the past 5 years. They skill haven't accepted this.]

This side of the family might as well be Evangelicals. Fox News is basically the only channel they watch. They'll watch CNN late at night. But they basically consider everyone outside of Fox News big liberals.

I personally think the liberals and conservatives have run away with what the original Democrats and Republicans stood for. I consider myself Republican and NOT conservative. There is a difference between the two, but the line has been greatly fogged.

The Salesman

Again I wonder if I'm a bad person for telling people the reasons I chose PA school over med school. Some people respond well. Tonight I had the exact opposite experience that I had in that older post.

The pre-med student asked questions about what I thought about her goals, and I answered them truthfully. She listened to the reason why I chose PA over medschool. After everything she said I was a "very good salesman." That made me feel dirty. I'm not trying to "sell" the profession. The profession sold itself to me. I'm just showing her what I liked about it.

I truly am not someone who tries to talk people out of med school. We need doctors. For some people medschool is a better match than PA school. But also there are many, many doctors who realize too late that this isn't what they signed up for. I listened to those doctors and took those opinions into account when I made my decision. I'm a big fan of basing decisions off other people's experience. I realize that I'm not that different from others. If a lot of people tell me one thing, chances are I will react the same way. So if most docs tell me "DON'T DO MED SCHOOL" and most PAs tell me "I LOVE MY JOB," then what's the logical thing to choose?

This specific pre-med's concern was whether she could have a family life, while being a physician. I think this is one of the hardest things to accomplish. Some specialties lend itself better to family life than others. She said cardiothoracic surgery. That is not one of them... I told her that 70%+ of most PA classes are woman. If you asked them why PA and not MD most will tell you "because it's easier to balance being a PA with having a family." It's true.

In college I shadowed a very intense breast cancer surgeon. She was trained by the best and wasn't above name dropping. She talked about job offers she got at Mayo Clinic and such. She was full of herself, but she was good and she was also very happy. The latter was surprising. I asked her if she had any children. She said no, and "by choice." Her profession was her love and enjoyed going home and spending time with her husband. I respected this answer immensely. She knew what she wanted in life, and was honest with herself. She was happy because she understood the reality of the situation.

I'm not the one crushing dreams. It's the reality of life that does that. In the long run I think I'm helping people by pointing out the truths that people like to ignore. Ignoring reality doesn't help anyone, it only prolongs disappointment.

Obvious Revelation

This whole time I've trying to get into PA school and waiting for it to start it never dawned on me what that really meant. It means that I'm GOING BACK TO SCHOOL. Gaaaaaaaaah.

I enjoyed working. I liked doing what I liked, getting paid for it, and going home and not working anymore. Doing the school work was the part of college I don't miss. I mean I always knew PA school was going to be hard but I'm just remembering now what the actual act of studying feels like. It's the shit.

Now I'm going to have to remind myself that it's only 12 months of classes. Rotations I can handle. I prefer the abuse during the day and then going home, rather than sitting in class all day just to study more at home. And yes, I'm well aware that there is studying during rotations, but there is just something different about that I think. Maybe I'm completely wrong. I guess time will tell.

I'm going to go stare at my profile on facebook now. Specifically the education "Grad School: M.S., Physician Assistant Studies." I know I'm kind of pathetic.

Introductions

I know this is a topic that has been talked about, but I never came across this option.

Physicians always introduce themselves as Dr. Smith, and from what I see PAs generally always introduce themselves like "Hi, I'm John a Physician Assistant." Many PAs have said that they like to keep it personal by using their first name only.

At the same time though many PAs feel they are not taken as seriously as they should be. People question them and we mainly attribute it to the word Assistant being in the title.

While I think the word "assistant" definitely contributes to this, I wonder if introducing oneself as "John Smith the Physician Assistant" may help make the difference. If we want to be treated like the professionals we are, then maybe we have to start carrying ourselves like that. Lawyers, business men, etc never introduce themselves by just their first name.

I personally think I'm always going to use my first+last name. Let your bedside manner make the patient feel comfortable, not the name you use to introduce yourself.

Advice

If anyone ever has questions for me it should be known that you can e-mail me at gregoryhousepa[at]gmail[dot]com. And I think I'll post the questions and responses in order to make this blog a little more useful. I'll even try to start using the tagging feature, so that maybe one day I'll have an easy to access archive of advice. And also, questions don't have to pertain to PA school and such. I'm pretty sought after for advice because I'm coldly logical and honest.

Question:
I read in your blog that you have an EMT degree and was able to get a job as a medical assistant. Do you also have a medical assistant degree or was your EMT degree enough for you to qualify for this job? I hope to hear from you soon and goodluck on your first day of PA school. :)

The reason that I got the EMT-B was because from what I saw many, many PAs started out as EMTs. I should actually say many of the "older generation" PAs use to be EMTs. They all told me that it was a great entry field for health care and would give me good experience learning how to do an initial examination and assessment. The training did just that, but to be perfectly honest I didn't learn much in terms of medicine outside of doing a history. But learning how to do a history is critical. Before the class I had a B.S. in biomedical science, and knew much more on the science side than my classmates and maybe some of the instructor EMTs. I digress.

I also did the course because I thought it would help me get a job as an EMT. I later found out in my area there are very few paying EMT-B jobs.

I know that I would have gotten my job as a medical assistant without getting the EMT. However, I can't say that I would have gotten into PA school. They did ask me about my EMT training and why I did it. They liked my answer about how I did it because senior PAs told me to and that it gave me a valuable knowledge on taking a history.

So in short. No, the EMT-B did not help me get my Medical Assistant job. My college degree did. And no, I did not get a medical assistant degree. The EMT-B did help me get into PA school though, and so did my job.

The Move In

Pick up 14' U-Haul at 8AM. I've been dreading driving this thing for weeks.

Start packing up my stuff at my family's home.

9AM call from unidentified person confirming my installation at 12PM. I assume this is the Cable company because they've called multiple times lately to confirm even though I cancelled my appointment. I say to the guy "I don't want Cable. I cancelled my Cable installation. I said the Cable companies name many times in the conversation."

An hour later I get a call from Satellite company confirming my cancellation. I go "Nooo. That guy never told me he was Satellite. He never corrected me when I kept calling him the Cable guy." So he confirmed my 4-8PM installation.

Satellite Installer calls back to confirm my 12PM appointment. "Noo. It's a 4-8PM appointment." He then asks 4-8PM on Sunday? NOOOO!!! 4-8PM TODAY (Saturday)!!!!! He says okay and that it would be around 5-6PM.

I get everything packed up. Drive the truck without issue. And get everything into the apartment.

When I got to the apartment I see a note from UPS saying they tried to deliver a package but no one was home to sign for it, and that's it's at their pick-up center. They were trying to deliver the modem I order to be sent to my GRANDPARENT'S ADDRESS. When I order internet I made this perfectly clear that I needed it sent to the grandparent's address. I spent an hour on the phone to get this shipping address corrected. I finally did, and they sent it to the wrong address anyway. FUCK MY LIFE.

The note says that it's going to be returned to the sender on the 29th. I call UPS and they said they already sent it back, even though it's 2 days early. Bastards.

I call Internet Provider and they apologize but I'm going to have to call Billing to get a new modem sent. Billing is only open on weekdays. Fuck my life again.

So 8PM rolls around. Satellite guy never shows up. I decided there is no way I'm staying at this apartment without internet or TV and go back to the grandparent's.

Today I call Satellite when I wake up. They say that the installer showed up at 4:15PM and no one was home. I'm 95% sure that I was at the apartment by them. But am willing to accept that I might not have been. So I ask why they didn't call my phone when they had been calling me all day. They claim that they did call and left a voicemail. Yeah, right. Because you know if I got a voicemail I would be calling with all these questions.

Blaaaaaah. Moving is so much fun. At least my apartment is looking good.

The End.

Obama's Plan For Gay Rights

Get What You Asked For

Some people have given me shit about voting for McCain even though he's not for gay rights. Back in November I wasn't overwhelmed by Obama's support for homos. My instincts have proven me correct, as usual.

Retired and Moving to Florida

Friday was my last day of work. It was a busy day and actually not a pleasant one, so it wasn't a sad departure. It was sad in the fact that I was so busy that I didn't really get to say good bye to anyone. The office wasn't able to gather around to say bye because I was so busy. I ate my departure cake more or less by myself, with maybe 5/20 co-workers. Lame. Oh well, Florida vacation here I come!

So lets see. College: done; EMT Training: done; Getting job: Done; Getting into PA school: Done; Finding roommate/apartment: Done; Moving In: Pending.

Moving is the next great step. I'm trying to get the family clan organized so that this can be done in one great sweeping motion. Tomorrow I'm getting the keys from the landlord. I think next week Roommate said he was going to move a few things in. I'm hoping to meet him there and get things like room layout, tv/internet and utilities things all straightened out. Once that's out of the way I'll know what I need to bring, buy and schedule. I must say I rock at this.

On an entirely different note I've been reading a lot of commentary by nurses and physicians about PAs. Some of the stuff they say use to outrage me. Now I honestly laugh at the misinformation they put out there. NPs making their claims of superiority and Physicians dumbing down the work of PAs. It makes me laugh out loud. My attitude now is they can say what they want about the profession. It really doesn't change the reality of the situation. All these physicians talk about how they could never be intellectually fulfilled doing the work of a PA and that they can't handle not being the final say. You know, that's totally fine - to each their own. I think the fact that I don't have issue working under someone works to my advantage. I say this because when I ask physicians if they would go into medicine again, most say no. PAs say the opposite. So lets see, I could be the final say and be miserable, or work under someone and be happy. I'll take the latter.

I've made a very concerted effort to develop an attitude where I don't have issue asking questions, admitting I'm wrong, willing to try new methods, and letting someone make the final call that I disagree with. You know why I'm cool with my opinions being totally disregarded? Because the blame can never be thrown squarely on me (normally), since I'm not the supervising physician. I will do my best to voice my opinion and have an intelligent discussion. The physician can do with it what he likes. I think I would get more satisfaction in occasionally being the PA that's right, than the physician who's often right during disagreements. I think this attitude of openness to learning from others but at the same being able to diplomatically disagree are going to be my greatest assets.

4 Days of Work, 40 Days Until Class

This is nuts I'm almost done with work for good. Since I started training people I can see huge changes in myself in terms of being capable. Everyone keeps reminding me of how unsure of myself I was when I first started. And now the new people have moments where they wonder how I'm so knowledgeable about the office. It's good assurance that in the future I'm going to be able to adapt even without good training. These new medical assistants are getting some real TLC from me, unlike how I was received when I started.

I'm starting to freak out about a little about moving. I'm moving to Too Big City. A city that I've lived near my whole life and am well acquainted with. I worked there for two summers and go in often enough with friends. I've never liked it. Too many people, too congested, too dirty, and even though it was good public transportation I still feel like it takes forever to get anywhere. But it's impossible to avoid the fact that this is where my school is. Technically, I'm not going to be living in TBC. I found a slightly more manageable city that has a super easy commute to school.

I'm going to be without my car for the first time in a few years. I'm truly converting into an urbanite. This scares me, because I don't know how living like an urbanite works. I'm a suburban boy damn it!! I don't know where I'm going to get my groceries, how I'll get them home, especially during the winter. Things like that. I also don't know my neighborhood that well. I'm going to have to do some real exploring when I first move in. God help me if it's not safe. When is move in? I have no idea. I need to figure that out.

Eep. Starting to freak out a little.

Old People

Why are senior citizens and others of that generational mind set against gay marriage? I propose it's because most of them haven't even thought about it.

[While watching a segment on gay marriage on CNN with grandma]

Grandma: But what if they got into a fight or something and wanted to split up? What would they do?

Me: Get a divorce like 50% of heterosexual marriages....


Clearly she has put a lot of thought into it. I can't put her at fault though. Most of my hetero friends don't seem to really care what happens with gay rights because it's not something that affects them, or regularly think about.

"Real Doctor"

Even though Cosmetic Doctor likes to see primarily cosmetic "patients" he still sees mainly medical patients, since this is before anything else a medical dermatology practice. I can tell that he doesn't like seeing medical patients though, especially pediatric patients. This is a little odd since the practice specializes in pediatrics, but nonetheless this is where he decided to work. Fair enough though, since Boss Doctor is board certified in Peds Derm, so I guess not all Derms would handle kids as well as him.

Quick example of this:
We get many children with Molluscum Contagiosum which Boss Doctor will always attempt to treat. The condition is self-limiting, but we'll try to move it along by using a blistering agent like Cantherone or liquid nitrogen. The Cantherone treatment is immediately painless, but the kids often freak out on us cause they're generally very young. If it becomes too much of a struggle then Boss Doctor just lets it go and gives them a topical that is slower acting but normally less traumatic.

Cosmetic Doctor has been presented with this situation an inordinate number of times lately. How does he handle the situation? By telling parents that pediatric derms generally don't treat it. I'm not sure how true that is since both Boss Doctor and the PAs will attempt treatment every single time. There was one really bad situation where the child was screaming uncontrollably and the parents just weren't convincing us that they wanted us to continue, even though they told us to go ahead. Cosmetic Doctor more or less froze during the situation. At one point I had to interject so that the parents and doctor would stop staring at each other with blank expressions.

Anyway... Fine he's not comfortable treating kids. Pediatric derm isn't his thing, but surely general derm is something he could handle. So a psoriasis patient came in with a history of failing topical treatments, but being successful with biologics in our practice. The patient had to go off the biologics because of insurance problems, but could now continue. Well at least he could of continued if Cosmetic Doctor hadn't replied to his request with, "I haven't prescribed biologics in years and am not comfortable prescribing that." Excuse me?!?!?! THIS IS STANDARD DERMATOLOGY!!! HAVEN'T PRESCRIBED IN YEARS?!?! THERE IS NO WAY YOU COULD BE MORE THAN 5 YEARS OUT OF RESIDENCY!!!

Boss Doctor's verbal reaction to this - "What? Isn't he a real doctor?"

How did we resolve the situation? Referred the patient to the 1.5 years of experience PA that is comfortable handling biologic patients.

Let this be a lesson to all the asshole physicians I've been reading lately who say P.A.s aren't capable of the same level of care as Board Certified physicians. P.A.s are totally capable of being trained to the same standard as board certified physicians. I don't even want to know how Cosmetic Doctor would have handled Senior P.A.s erythrodermic psoriasis patient...

Seriously?!

I still hate you so much California.

Shoot Me

My grandmother sent me out to get an ice cream cake for my uncle's birthday. She wanted something plain like chocolate or vanilla, something everyone would like. I come home with chocolate chip. She kind of freaked out as if chocolate chip was something no two people in the world could ever agree upon liking. It's freaking chocolate chip! That's as plain and boring as it gets outside of chocolate and vanilla. AHHH!!!! SHE'S CRAZZZZYYY!!!!

One more thing. This weekend there were plans to have a BBQ at my parents' house on Monday and have lasagna at my grandmother's on Monday. For some reason we didn't do lasagna Sunday and my grandmother says "Oh well we'll have it tomorrow (Monday), which is just as well because it's suppose to rain today (Sunday)." Why just as well? Were we planning on eating lasagna outside? I guess lasagna on Memorial Day is standard tradition...

15 Days

I only have 15 days of work left. I've been the moodiest bitch in the world lately. I'm not exactly sure why, but I'm sure it's because I'm almost done at this place. The shit that I use to put up with so well, I can no longer stand. I also have just not been as on top of my game as I usually am. I forget to get simple things ready when seeing patients, my notes are lack luster. It's just all going down hill.

The entire office knows how many days left I have. This is mainly due to the fact that announce it many times throughout the day. Many people are upset about this. I too am upset that I'm not going to see these people every day. I like all of my co-workers and everyone seems to like me. I'm the jokester of the office and make everyone laugh. But I'm not going to miss my role in the office at all. I feel like there are always a million different people asking me to do stuff. The front desk is asking me to answer patient questions, office manager is always on our ass about doing things faster (although she's gotten better since I snapped at her), the providers are snapping at me if I'm not doing every goddamn thing that needs to get done in the room. Honestly, it's as if they want to sit on a cloud and watch from afar the medical assistant do everything. DON'T COMPLAIN TO ME BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WRITE HALF OF THE NOTE. IT'S YOUR FUCKING SIGNATURE THAT GOES AT THE END OF IT!!!! Jesus Christ these people are so needy. I'm very interested to see what I'm like on the other side of the coin.

Senior PA often says that I make a crappy medical assistant, but will make a good PA. I don't know how much she means that though. She most recently said this because one day she asked me to call in some medication and I never remembered to do it, but in all fairness I wasn't even working with her that day. I had my own things to do, had another provider to work for and then she just gives me some random job to do. God knows that she has plenty of instances where she doesn't have any work to do and could have called in the god damn medication herself. She sits in the back corner doing online surveys for 40 dollar checks, while I never have a moment to sit around and do nothing. God I can't wait to stop working for $10 an hour.

Due Process My Ass

February of last year a got a ticket for driving while using a mobile phone. The officer told me if I pled not guilty and brought a hands-free device the judge would probably let me off. I bought that hands free device (on a drive that lead to that annoying accident) and pled not guilty to be told that I would be given a court date in about three months.

I graduated college, left that town, and sent the court a signed letter saying what my new address was and that I wanted to plead guilty.

1 year, 3 months later they finally gave me my court date in that town that I no longer live in. WTF?!?!? Where the fuck is the due process in all of this. I can't go to this court date. I just want to plead GUILTY and pay my effing penalty. What is going to happen if I don't show up to this court date?

Shoot me.

[Edit:]

My brother claims (who's had LOTS of tickets), and the DMV website suggests that if I don't show up then my license will be suspended and I will then have the opportunity to pay the fine then. I'm going to send the court a letter again trying to plead guilty. Otherwise, I'm just not going to the court date and hope I get something in the mail allowing me to pay my fine off.

5

Maine legalized same sex marriage today. You go Maine!

New Hampshire's legislative branch passed it, and it waits to be signed by the governor. Lets do this NH!

Washington D.C. City Counsel has passed the acknowledgment of same-sex marriage, but needs to pass the 30 days review period in Congress. In general I don't believe Congress generally goes against the Counsel's decisions, but this could be interesting.

A decision in New York is pending. The governor there introduced a bill legalizing same-sex marriage. The state currently recognizes marriages done in other states.

That is your gay update of the day.

I'm not THAT stupid

I checked out an apartment yesterday that I thought was too good to be true. Surprisingly, the place ended up looking just as it did in its online posting. I did not play it cool and made it quite obvious that I wanted the apartment badly. (TWENTY MINUTE COMMUTE TO SCHOOL!!!) But I did press upon him how good of a tenant I am: great reviews from past landlords, professional student, minimum year lease with probability of 26 months.

They sent me the Rent Application and I faxed it over today. They then told me that I would be getting lease papers tomorrow. horrah! But wait! There's a catch! He said I was going to be the sole signer on the lease. whaaaaaaaat?! Yeah that is definitely not happening.

I called him and long story short, I gave it to him. I told him how there is no way in hell I'm going to be held responsible for Roommate. I understand that it's in the landlord's best interest to only have one person to deal with legally, but ummmm I'm not retarded. I have to cover my own ass. He tried to act like proposing a multi-tenant lease as some unheard of idea. I then pointed out that every lease I've ever signed included every occupant, so this is not some novel idea of mine. He then changed his tune a little and said that maybe his lawyer could work something out. And by lawyer he probably meant Standard Multi-Tenant Lease from Google.

As I typed this I received an e-mail from Landlord saying that making up a multi-tenant lease was not going to be a problem and that I'll have the papers by mid-day tomorrow. DAMN RIGHT BIOTCH! I OWN AT LIFE!

Can you say shortest apartment search ever? God I amaze myself sometimes. I don't know which is more impressive, my job search last summer or this apartment search. I'm going to say this apartment search because the job pays so shitily, yet my job was the reason I got into school.

Blindsided

Cosmetic Doctor explained to a patient that to get rid of the lines on her forehead she would need botox and that it would cost $400. She was hesitant because of the cost and since it only lasts about 3 months. As she was leaving I told her to check back for specials in May because it could go on sale and in the past had gone for $150 and sometimes needed to be packaged with another procedure. She got really excited about this and even booked a microdermabrasion and laser hair removal at the front desk once she saw they were on sale.

When I walked back to the examination rooms Cosmetic Doctor said to me in a hushed voice, "Guy, don't tell patients to wait on cosmetic procedures to see if they go on sale. We want them to get them now." I gave a simple, "Okay." And I meant it. I wouldn't get involved with that in the future. Even though I have to say I was surprised since Cosmetic Doctor is always trying to give patients fair prices, something Boss Doctor doesn't.

During my lunch break Boss Doctor came in to speak to me. He told me not to talk to patients about past and future prices of cosmetic procedures and that we're trying to get them to do procedures day of. I told him I understood and that I wasn't going to talk pricing anymore. Now I'm not sure how Boss Doctor caught wind of this, but I feel Cosmetic Doctor must have said something to him. I did give him my said of the story though about how I told the patient AS THEY WERE LEAVING and that the patient became very excited and was definitely going to eat up these specials. He actually then seemed to agree with how I handled the situation.

I was shocked that Cosmetic Doctor did that to me. I had never heard him ever go to Boss Doctor about another employee. In the rooms he's ALWAYS asking me about the pricing of things and always seems shocked when I tell him about the prices we charge. I couldn't believe he was trying to get more out of the patient.

But what surprised me more: Boss Doctor later in the day APOLOGIZED TO ME for speaking to me in front of Senior PA. He said it was unprofessional and should have done it in private. I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!!! It wasn't even a big deal to me when he spoke to me about that. I come from Irish Catholic breeding. I can handle being told I did something wrong and accepting it. I can't remember a single time he ever apologized to someone for being unprofessional and he is OFTEN much more unprofessional. I'm really happy that Boss Doctor looks at me as someone that deserves respect. I started the job with Boss Doctor wanting to fire me badly, and now he's freely apologizing to me!!! This is insanity.

Dr. Pretty

I turned the corner today in the office and BAM! the gaydar went off before I could even process what the person looked like. He was hot and I of course had to listen in on his conversation with the aesthetician and nurse as he walked out. Sure enough he's an internist in the next town over, and doesn't pay for shit at our office. I definitely think I saw his gaydar go off when he looked at me. That's always fun, making the gaydar eyes at each other.

So I told the PAs about my suspicions, and sure enough the aesthetician independently said the same thing. Junior PA claimed she saw a ring on it, but neither I nor the aesthetician saw this. I still can't remember his name and just call him Dr. Pretty.

Junior PA was giving me a hard time about not pursuing my previous date any further. She thinks I'm too picky. I don't think it's fair though that I'm called picky just because I won't give people that aren't my type a chance. We have plenty of patients that I consider my type and would gladly give the time of day to. Dr. Pretty is on that list, regardless of him being 17 years my senior. That's a NSA hook up that I would jump on any day of the week.

NSA

Told the date that I wasn't feeling it. He e-mailed me back saying he wasn't feeling it either, but was always game for some No Strings Attached hooking up, since I'm so adorable. Yeah... That's not happening. I feel like a prude, and I'm sure that I am. But I'm not cool with going into a dating site looking for a relationship and coming out with hook up buddies. My desire for companionship greatly out weighs my need for the sex.

Picky?

I'm going to be moving to a city with a very healthy populations of gays, but since I'm not into actors/musicians or hipsters I seem to be at a total loss.

Today's date was ehhh. I wasn't expecting a hipster. That coupled with him being 6 years my senior led to no chemistry. While at some vintage gaming store he became nostalgic for Classic Nintendo, Sega and systems out before I was born. I stayed with the N64. Man 6 years is kind of a long time.

I'm a bitch and will never find anyone.

Getting Old

You know how I know I'm getting old? When a patient comes in and when I look at their age and realize they're the same age as me, and I'm like I THOUGHT YOU WERE 5 YEARS OLDER!!!!!

And on that note I'm going on a date with someone turning 29 soon. That's a 6 year difference! I'm freaking out a little. But god damn it, he pursued me.

And yes, this is a confirmation that I've moved on to another dating website, even though I told myself I was waiting until I moved. But OkCupid.com is 100% free and is the most fun website ever. Even if you're not looking to date you can have fun on this website.

I'm a Bad Person

It was a very light day at work today, so me, the 2 PAs ("Senior PA" and "Junior PA") and fellow medical assistant got to shoot the shit. Medical Assistant, "Z", is going to be applying to medical school this summer. She's currently a junior in college. Z could not be anymore different from me. She's idealistic, believes there are no evils in the world that cannot be overcome, thinks patients are pure souls who are totally innocent and are nothing but victims to their afflictions and, her greatest folly, truly believes you can have it all.

I regularly tell her about my friend, "L", who is in medical school and how miserable she is. L was very similar to Z in college. Absurdly driven, insanely intelligent, and pathetically innocent. My friend L, who is a Year 1 Medical Student, has been in a terrible depression lately. She has been coming to the realization that she might be sacrificing too much of her life for this dream job. She originally wanted to go into something like Ortho or Interventional Pediatric Cardiology. You know, things that require like 7 years of training after graduation. But now the only thing that gets her through the day is the idea of working part-time in pediatrics, simply because of the short residency and time it allows to be with her future family. I admire her for coming to this reasonable conclusion and being honest with herself about what she wants out of life. (I played a role in her therapy and decision making.)

I introduced Z to studentdoctor.net and she asked if they had a resource telling her what schools have a lot of men because she wants to meet guys in school. I laughed at her asking if she was planning to have romance in school. Z is not a slizzy. She looks for love. I tried telling her that while in school your social life is extremely hindered. She didn't believe me, but the truth began to show on her face when the PAs confirmed what I said.

I then proceeded to tell her that the same applies for residency. I pointed to laws that said residents couldn't work more than 80 hours a week, and that that law isn't followed. The only relationship she was going to have was going to be with colleagues, which itself has its own pitfalls. She still refused to believe me. I used our new doctor as an example. He's 35 years old. After medical school, residency and 2 fellowships he's finally working as an Attending Dermatologist, the same career Z wants. New Doc currently lives with his wife at his PARENTS HOUSE. The news that residents and fellows don't make much money was a bitter pill for Z. He's only just starting his life. This was the reason I decided I could never be a physician. I couldn't sacrifice that much of my life. I'm socially stunted enough as it is. But if she's cool with it then she should go for it. I don't mean to tell her DON'T BE A DOCTOR, PAs ARE BETTER. I was simply pointing out some of the things many premeds students don't know/ignore.

This was upsetting news to Z. I then asked her if she was cool with having someone else raise her children while she worked. This was not acceptable to her. She had to be at home raising her children. I asked who was going to work, and she said she wanted her husband (preferably a physician she meets in school) to be able to provide for the family. She also said she wouldn't mind having her own practice so she could make her own hours. I couldn't stop laughing from this one. She had no concept that when you're a business owner, your job comes home with you 24/7. We examined our boss's life and how his employees see him waaaaay more than his family does. His job doesn't end when the patients are gone.

Then I mentioned the stat about 50% of Americans divorcing from their spouses. This only got her shushing me. How dare I bring up such ugly statistics and suggest this could ever happen to her. She 100% believes that she is the exception to every negative statistic out there. This is the most painful thing about Z. I then told her that the divorce rate is most definitely higher among physicians and surgeons, pointing to Derm Surgeon in our office. He is the nicest man that ever existed, but he loves his job. His wife left him after a 2 week vacation to Hawaii.

I finally stopped doing this to Z when she pleaded for me to stop. I was making her question the foundation of her ultimate goal. She didn't like that she had no answers to any of these questions. I didn't feel bad. Z needs to think about all of these before starting medical school. This was nothing compared to what medical school interviews are like.

One of the PAs ended the conversation by pointing out something about Dr. Boss. He wears his medical school ring on his left ring finger. It's impossible to have it all. To be happy you need to know your priorities and live by them. Dr. Boss knows his. He's married to his job.

In Addition to Criag's List

Never Derm. Never private practice. Never ever ever ever ever ever again.

More to follow including: ethics, CFIDS, penis, screwed up labs, surgical consults, stomach viruses.

Phone Tag

The other morning I got a call from a number I didn't recognize, so I let it go to voicemail. I'm not into people I don't know hearing me speak while I'm still in bed.

Checked the voicemail and it was the other school I interviewed at urgently telling me to call them back. If that wasn't a call telling me I was chosen off the wait list, then I don't know what is. I called them back 3 times during the hours they said they would be in the office. I left a message after the third call.

I never got a call back the next day, so I called again leaving another message. Still no word.

I can't say that I'm surprised by this. This is the same program that told me that I would find out whether I got in or not 3 weeks after the interview. I never heard from them again after the interview up until now - 13 weeks later.

Generally I would have been freaking out about this, but since I'm already into the school of my dreams I'm chilling. At this point I just want them to call me back so I can say "SCREW YOU AND YOUR CERTIFICATE OF PHYSICIAN ASSISTANT STUDIES!!! I'M GETTING A MASTER'S AT A SCHOOL THAT'S CAPABLE OF RETURNING PHONE CALLS!!!"

Whatever, the jokes on them. I applied to that program as a total last ditch effort when I was freaking out about not getting interviews. I never had any desire to go there, especially after their very, very weak interview. They didn't try in the slightest to sell their program to me. Truth be told, if I got in I don't know if I would have went cause I had major hesitations about getting a Certificate of PA Studies, since it's the bare minimum requirement to sit for the PANCE.

Insomnia

I'm a night person. There is no getting around it. Staying up until 3AM is normal for me, even when I have to be at work at 8AM the next day. On the flip side of this, I'm also someone that doesn't wake up easily. When given the opportunity I will easily sleep until 1-2PM. I know that this isn't normal, and that I need to become a normal person, especially with school on the horizon.

Today I had work at 1:30PM, but I was up and out of bed at 10AM. This is not standard for me. In fact, it was an outright miracle. Then after work today I was especially exhausted, so the unthinkable happened again and I was in bed at 10:15PM.

Lo and behold, I woke up at 1:30AM. This is even worse than going to be at 3AM, because I don't forsee being about to fall asleep for a very long time.

If anyone has any tips on how to start going to be earlier, please don't hog them. I freaking went to bed when I was tired, yet my body still rejects the idea of sleeping that early.

womp womp.

4!

It was a good past week for Civil Rights.

Out of NOWHERE Iowa, freaking Iowa, legalized same sex marriage. And today, my second least favorite state in the union, Vermont, passed same-sex marriage without a court order.

As Fag Hag said, HOLLA!

The End, Before the Beginning

I only have 44 days of work left until I start my 5-Week-Pre-PA-School-Vacation. Not like I'm counting or anything.

I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to with 5 weeks of vacation. I sometimes debate whether that's too long of a break. Roommate is working straight through June and giving himself just 12 days off. Classes start July 13. But I really want to relaxxxx, and I want to be so desperately bored by the end of the vacation that I'll be ready to attack school.

So far I don't have much planned to do during my break. I want to go to Florida for a week at my grandparents condo, but I don't seem to have anyone to go with. During June I might be spending time finding an apartment, if I'm not able to get that taken care of in May. Then I'll probably spend a week getting the apartment ready to be lived in. But that still gives me 3 weeks of nothingness. That's okay though. I really do enjoy sitting and doing nothing. That might make me seem very lazy. But I see it as a gift, because there are so many people who just don't know how to sit and do nothing, even though they really need it.

Never Again

Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever doing anything on Craig's List like that again.

Not the Only One

Tonight I went to the Cheesecake Factory for the first time ever with two of my guy friends. Man, they have one of the largest menus I've ever seen. I hear they're going out of business, which is too bad because I had a really great meal. I don't think I've ever had such a pretty and equally delicious meal.

As we entered my friend commented on how this place was a huge first date clich and sure enough we had the theme of the night!

About halfway through our meal two young guys sat down next to us. Generally I always assume guys are straight because of the statistics. But I heard just a hint of the stereotypical gay voice, so I listened in. Sure enough they were on a first date! Horrah! An amazing opportunity to see what first dates are like for other gay guys.

The topics touched on were family, religion, tv, friends, ghosts. One guy talked more than the other, and one seemed way more into the date than the other. Overall a fairly good reenactment of my latest date. So it was somewhat comforting that I was basically doing what other guys are doing on their first dates. Unfortunately, the guy talking too much reminded me a little too much of myself. AKA the driving force of the conversation and we all know how well that turned out. Is that a rule? That the if one guys is talking too much then it's official that he's way more into the other guy, and it's not going to work out.

Anyway, I was way into the guy who wasn't feeling the other guy. I really wanted to make some kind of move, which is totally out of the norm for me. I think it was because this guy was TOTALLY not the stereotype, and was TOTALLY cute. I don't think I would have ever hit on that guy since my gaydar probably isn't that strong. I didn't have the balls to blow up the other guys spot though. So I left Cheesecake Factory, cheesecake in hand, wondering how the hell I was ever going to meet someone. Womp Womp. I then put a posting on Craigslist's Missed Connections for the .00001% change that guy will read it and get in contact with me.

I don't plan on making a real solid effort at dating until I move, because I think I've exhausted all the resources in my current situation and I know there are many more options in the neighborhood I'm moving into. We'll see how that goes.

Roommate

I met my new roommate today. It's kind of funny (well, not ha ha funny) how I came to be roommates with him. He happens to be my co-worker's finance's sister's boyfriend. This pairing didn't happen by coincidence. Co-worker told me about her "brother-in-law" being in the same class as me and didn't really say anything negative about him. And by, "didn't really say anything negative," I mean wouldn't lead me one way or the other. By the transitive property I figured he must be okay because I like Co-worker, therefore I must like her finance and his family and anyone his family decides to date. That logic works 100% of the time. Math says so. Plus, he's a fellow PA student, so how bad could he be.

Tonight I got together with Co-worker and all other members connecting me with Roommate. Man, I love being the 5th wheel. It felt very much like being set up on a blind date, but without the promise of you know... anything. I must say that I think everyone had a really good time. We went to a restaurant of my choosing in my town and I believe it was enjoyed by all. We talked for quite a while after dinner was over, and then proceeded to walk through town and do the coffee thing.

A couple of things were decided on. One, DVR will be had because Roommate enjoys TV as much as I do. (I don't know if we actually agreed on this, but it's happening.) Our cleaning goal is that the place will be clean enough that shower sandals will remain a thing of Undergrad Past. Good start.

Since Roommate is from a far away state, I'm going to be checking out apartments with Roommate's Girl Friend. I'm just becoming best friends with everyone!

But no the fun didn't stop there. I went for the trifecta! Co-worker's Fiance and I hit it off a little too and plan on going to plenty of MLB games during my MONTH OF NOTHINGGGG. (aka 6 week period between work's end and school starting) I'm starting to debate whether the 6 weeks vacation I'm giving myself is a little much, especially since it was decided to start our lease in July and not June.

So the future is looking bright. We're both equally excited for school to start and are actually pretty compatible when it comes to studying methods (group study). Horrah for that!

The only thing that kind of sucked about the night was being the 5th Wheel. And it wasn't a matter of being the odd one out, because I become very friendly with others quickly. I feel very comfortable around all of them. It was more of the "woe is me being alone" feeling that I had after the whole night was said and done. I'll need to get over this because Roommate's Girl Friend is going to be over a lot I think. I've never had a roommate with a significant other like this, but I have no choice but to get over it.

Die Exchange

Microsoft never ceases to amaze me at how terrible it is.

Evidently, School uses Outlook Exchange for e-mail and I couldn't have been more disgusted with it. I wanted to add my School account to my Thunderbird because Thunderbird is GOD. This was just so difficult to accomplish that I finally gave up and just set up my School account to forward all e-mail to my Gmail account. This was actually what I wanted to do in the beginning but that option wasn't listed anywhere within the Outlook e-mail program. I later found a separate School website where you could have e-mails forwarded. It's all so unnecessarily complicated.

For some reason I have hesitations for relying on Google (or any one company) too much. I almost feel like it's the next Microsoft, if it already isn't. I like to spread the love around. Thunderbird for e-mail client, Gmail for my address, iCal for scheduling, Camino for browsing, Adium for chatting.

Holy Shit I'm Registered

I still cannot believe that I got an e-mail today telling me how to register for classes. I'm still in a total state of disbelief when I see things like, Name: Guy Flynn Major: Physician Assistant Studies. You'd think I had won the lotto or something. I'm convinced that this is still all a big joke. I should get over this.

I registered for classes today. It's a very light start for the summer semester. Physcosocial Medicine, Human Physiology, Professionalism & Bioethics. Basically it's like all of my favorite classes from college in one semester. w00tw00t!

What's In a Name

The saga of patients continually making up name for me continues. Yesterday I was called "Kevin" and today the Doctor called me "Chris." When Doctor called me that I literally said, "Excuse me!?" and just stared at him until he corrected himself. Evidently calling me Chris is a constant internal struggle for him. And then yesterday another woman couldn't get over the fact of how much I reminded her of someone named Stephen.

The list includes:
Brian
Chris
Marc
Brendan
Craig
George
Eric
Kevin
"That guy..."

And when I go to Panera that's always an adventure to see what name they put on my receipt. The other day they put "Grek" and my friend Ryan was "Brajan."

Then today we got a pathology report that said at the bottom, "This biopsy was discussed with G. Flynn, PA on 3/19/09." That's me! WHERE THE HELL DID THEY GET THE IDEA I WAS A PA?! I never said that. I don't even think I told them I was a medical assistant. I just answered the phone when the front desk said a doctor needed to talk to someone and I answered some questions about a biopsy and humored them when they went into the specifics.

Boy or Job?

The Hag and I had a very interesting conversation the other night. Not to long ago Hag was searching through Match.com and requiring my help evaluating EVERY SINGLE PROSPECT. She was especially needy when deciding whether to meet guys after getting e-mails from them. There had been one particular string of gentleman callers that she was more crazy about. And I don't mean that she was crazy over each of them. What I mean is that she was literally losing her mind over whether he would MARRY any of them.

The ones she was most interested in I believe I was luke warm over. She has a thing for older guys, which is evolutionary understandable, but I find them a little weird. But then there was another one, which I admittedly went crazy for. He was the best looking of the ones that e-mailed her, was an engineer and gave off the good vibe according to me. The Hag on the other hand was luke warm. I practically had to make her give him the time of day.

Long story short, they're pretty inseparable and she wants to marry him. And more importantly, I also approve.

Around the same time she found The Boy, I got into school. We've both been on our respective Cloud 9's.

The Hag also back around the time she was looking for guys lost her job. DAMN ECONOMY. And now we both of a case of The Grass Is Always Greener. Well... Maybe not. I asked her last night if she could trade The Boy for a dream job - would she? I actually said I definitely wouldn't. As desperate as I am for some companionship there is NO WAY that I would trade in 5 years of dedicating my life to getting into school for a little messing around. At least, not after looking for less than a year and $200 worth of online dating.

She on the other hand had mixed feelings. I've noticed that the one thing that can really develop a psychosis in people is being unemployed. She decided that if this relationship is for real, then she wouldn't trade spaces. But if it's only a temporary thing then she would gladly switch. Unfortunately for her that's the nature of relationships, not knowing. I guess the same could be said about me though. I'm blindly in love with the idea of being a PA, but could easily down the line realize that having a relationship is better.

I'm willing to take that chance though. It's not like I'm avoiding the idea of relationships. Currently I'm just putting off the active search until school starts and I move. Remember Guy, the whole reason you wanted PA instead of Physician was so that you could still have a personal life.

Empty Office

If I see Obama on one more magazine cover, speech podium or late night show, then I'm going to break into the Oval Office and start running the country.

[Edit:] Just heard Obama is doing the commencement speech at Notre Dame this year. That will be that day I take office.

Lofty Goals?

One of the P.A.'s at work asked me why I didn't go to med school. This isn't the first time a P.A. has asked me this, because evidently you only go to P.A. school when you're "too old" and don't have the time for med school. Does no one believe that there are perks to being a P.A. that doctors don't have?

She made the argument that she was doing the same exact thing as the physicians and making half the salary. Okay... But I'm pretty sure that I would be very happy with that P.A.'s salary. Am I kidding myself into thinking that I wouldn't like to make a doctor's salary?

On the flip side I had a physician once tell me that I should never go into medicine for the money. It wasn't because there wasn't money to be had, but because having more money doesn't make you happier. He said that he truly believed that he was no more happier with his life than the guys making 60k and then pointed to the studies that prove it. I believe it. As nice as having bucket loads of money is, I really think more money does bring more problems. I'm not interested in living an extravagant lifestyle, because it requires that much more work to maintain it.

I know that working as a P.A. is going to be a job I love. I know this because I love my job now, and would love it even more if I were one of the P.A.'s. Then I look at the doctor and wonder if I would love my job anymore because I were him. Honestly, I don't think I would. To be perfectly honest, I don't think I mind having someone else to fall back on and not being 100% liable for everything that goes on. His job requires a lot more hours, has a lot more stress and he lives a lifestyle that I'm not interested in having.

The P.A. then asked "But wouldn't you like to one day be called 'Dr. House.'" Would I? Sure, I guess. But is being called "doctor" going to change anything substantially about my job? No. I'm still going to be doing the same kind of work, and I won't have to go through the hell of med school and residency. I'm trying to develop a strong self-confidence in myself and feeling superior about yourself because you're called "doctor" doesn't help that. I want to go to a job that I love and enjoy, but I also desperately want to separate my social life from work life. That's the goal. I feel that being a P.A. makes that more possible than being a physician. I'm interested in practicing medicine, not being called "doctor."

I want to have:
a partner
a couple kids
a modest home
a luxury Toyota
cable with DVR
comfortable but not extravagant furniture
a standard trip once a year
the means to provide my kids with the schooling they need and myself with retirement

If a dual income, one being a P.A. salary, can't cover this then let me know and I'll be sure to apply to med school.

The Most Important $10 an Hour Employee Ever

Today was G-ma's funeral, but because of the snow we had to push back the burial to today (Tuesday.) I already had Monday off because that's how my typical schedule works, and I called my Office Manager Sunday to tell her I wasn't coming in Tuesday. So that's one day off. Mind you I worked Friday the day after I found out she died, which I think shocked my OM.

Today when I called to confirm that I wasn't coming in tomorrow, since I never heard back from OM. I got the secretary, but in reality she's third in command at the office. She tells me I'm not allowed to pass this message along through her, per office policy. If you're taking off you must ONLY speak to the OM, even when she doesn't return your phone calls or is in the office during business hours. She then tries to tell me OM's home number to which I say, "Listen I'm driving in a snow storm on the way to m grandmother's funeral. I can't do this right now."

I called back after the funeral and get the OM. I tell her I'm not working Tuesday because that's when the burial is and I think I'm going to take Wednesday off also cause I really just need one day off from life. She immediately starts whining. She goes on about how she already got someone to cover for me Tuesday night and that she doesn't have anyone for Wednesday night. In the past I might crumble to this and say how I'll be back right away. Not anymore. I stand strong telling her I really need a day and she continues squirming. It helps that she's acting so desperately, and that I'm leaving in May so what are they going to do? Hold this against me towards firing me? I then crumble a little and say I'll work that night 5-8PM.

This pisses me off a lot. The OM's mother died 2 weeks ago and took AT LEAST 2 days off and no one would have said anything about how long she was away. But me, the $10 an hour, lowest man on the totem poll wants to take off 2 days AND THE OFFICE GOES INTO CRISIS MODE. Firstly, how the hell did I become so important? I'll tell you how. Because we're desperate for help. We're completely understaffed in terms of medical assistants and run short even when everyone is at work. This must be kind of what the nursing shortage is like.

Secondly, they got one of the Regular MAs to fill in for me Tuesday, when there is already a Part-Timer who comes in Tuesday nights. Why can't she, the Part-Timer, just run solo? I run solo all the time. The answer can't be because she's new; she's not. And I don't care if she's not as capable as me because she gets paid the same. They pushed me hard when I first started and this Part-Timer is getting special treatment because she's incompetent. They have ZERO problem telling me when I fuck up and giving me shit even when I don't fuck up. But this Part-Timer, no one says shit to. So instead of having the Full-Timer fill in for me Wednesday they have to have her work Tuesday, basically forcing me to work Wednesday. MIND YOU: I'm going to work alone Wednesday in the same scenario that the Part-Timer would have had to worked Tuesday.

The OM better be looking out cause I'm coming in with a massive chip on my shoulder and there is no reason for me not to tell her exactly how I feel. Go ahead, fire me. I already got EXACTLY what I needed from this job. I'm sure I can go find some other job where I can make $10.50 an hour.

:-(

You know what sucks more than seeing every patient at least 40 minutes behind schedule because your boss shows up 30 minutes late to back to back surgeries that are also the first patients of the day?

Coming home to find out that your grandmother died. (Not the one I live with)

You know what's even worse? Realizing that the last thing you said to your grandmother was "Hopefully the next time I see you it'll be under better circumstances." Geez.

It wasn't that unexpected. She had very limited mobility ever since I was born, and it only got worse over the years. Her life was mainly consisting of moving between her bed and her chair for tv watching. Her family did visit her very often and luckily she did go to the family ski house with the majority of the family last Christmas break.

I'm glad she got to see so many of her grandchildren make it to college and her eldest get into grad school. Too bad I never got to see after she heard I got into school. It would have been nice to tell her what I was going to be doing and let her see how excited I am.

I hope you're at peace, G ma.
<3 numero uno.

Hmm... Money...

The shock of getting in still hasn't set in yet, but the shock of the debt I'll be in has.

I've been greatly debating whether to commute from home to school, or move closer to school. The commute to school would probably be about an hour, and it wouldn't require too much work. Drive to train station, take subway (no transfers), walk remainder. It might actually take longer than an hour since I'm estimating based off my interview commute. The rush hour commute I'm sure is worse. I use to work in Big City where the school is and I have to say the terrible taste the commute left in my mouth linger 4 years later.

The other problem with the commute comes about when I want to go home late at night. There are less trains back to Home Town, plus by the time I would get home I wouldn't be getting much sleep before heading back to school the next day.

The reason I plan on being in the city late at night is because I'm a group studier. If I go home I will never get any work done. I need to be in a library and preferably with someone else to bounce ideas and questions off of.

My hesitation is the increased amount of debt I'll produce. It'll bring the estimate cost of the entire program from about 75K to well over 100K. I guess this might be a drop in the ocean, but I'm TERRIFIED that I'm going to fail out and be stuck with debt and no degree. But hell, even if I did commute and failed out I would still have a shit ton of debt. I guess it's comfort that regardless of this decision I'm still going to fail with a shit ton of debt.

On a side note, even though I don't particularly care for Big City, I do think it's a life experience I need by living in it. So I'll probably do it.

Taking the "IM" out of impossible!

I totally got into P.A. school today!!!!!

And the school completely messed with my emotions about it.

As I clocked out at work today I said aloud for the first time, "Well I wonder if I have a message waiting for me from the school."

I looked at my phone and saw a missed call from a number I didn't recognized. The number had too many number in it, so I disregarded it as a wrong number international call.

I then got home and saw an e-mail from the school telling me that I was moved from #13 to #11. This was not pleasing because being this late after the acceptances went out I assumed there was little hope. I then saw a had another e-mail from the school 4 hours later, and sure enough it was an acceptance e-mail!

So horray for me!!!!!

Tip to Tall People

I'm tall, 6'4'' to be exact, even though I lie on on-line dating services and say 6'3'', cause that seem to be the "normal" cutoff.

I sometimes get back pain from sitting at my computer for long periods of time. One way to help this is to not sit at my computer too much. But I'm Irish, and we're a stubborn people. (I feel like ever ethnicity is considered a stubborn people.)

What have I done to help alleviate pain? I've lowered my seat alllll the way down. I'm so low that the table reaches about 4 inches below my nipple. My arms rest comfortably on the table and I think I sit straighter because of this. Screw developing back muscles.

The Numbers

I've been regressing lately. I use to tell myself I was going to let life be and not worry about things out of my control. Tonight I went crazy reading about wait lists and how many classes sizes were made of people from the wait list. This gave me hope because I saw good numbers. One schools had 50% of their class made from the wait list and another was made by 37%. I'm in the top 25%, so thing were looking okay.

Then I decided to see if the accepted students started a Facebook group. They did and I was able to see the whole thing. There are 31 members. That means AT LEAST 31 seats of 50 are filled, 62% of the class. If that number goes past 37, then that means people on the wait list ahead of me MUST reject their acceptance in order for me to get in.

There is a very good chance that there are accepted people who did not join the Facebook group. I feel like shit. I wish I didn't do this kind of stuff to myself.

[Edit:] Okay I'm a major stalker. This is already know. The internet makes to too easy. One person in the group said they "just found out" this past Monday that they were in. That is exactly 2 weeks from the initial acceptances. Generally accepted candidates are given two weeks to send in deposits. This leads me to believe that this person was chosen off the wait list. The idea that they're already taking people from the wait list is the only thing that will allow me to sleep from now until February 23-24, when I calculate the next round of wait list acceptances to be sent out.

I should be a private internet investigator.

The Power of Balls

Two stories to share today, both involving my balls.

One:
Yesterday, Boss gave me, what many thought, was an inordinate amount of shit about typing someone's allergies under Past Medical History and not recording their current medication. In my defense, Boss told me in order to "save time" just record the medications they list on the patient history form that they fill out, and the patient didn't list any medications. He specifically told me that "You know there is one important thing they don't teach you in P.A. text books. 'Don't fuck up." Okay, gezzz.

Today, we were trying to figure out what a patient had been complaining about the previous day, because we had a positive fungal culture from them and needed to give some kind of treatment. We looked at the chart and there was zero notation as to anything about a fungal culture, and it had Boss' had writing all over it. I then said to him, "Hey Boss, what's that thing they don't teach you in P.A. text books."

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!! I've got a pair.

He simply laughed and said "touché."

We later found the right chart and the fungal culture was noted in full. We never told him that he didn't actually fuck up.


Two:
Boss had just left a patient, but per usual, the patient thought of another pertinent question regarding their facial hair. The patient wanted to know if it was possible that the Rogaine was effecting it even though it was there before the Rogaine treatment started. They also wanted to know if there were any good treatment plans. I told them that the Rogaine didn't seem to be affecting it and that there really wasn't any good treatment for her specific type of hair. She accepted my answers, and left.

After the patient left Boss asked me, "Guy, what exactly do the patients think your title is." I responded, "Anything they want me to be." He laughed and noted how they accept anything I say basically because I'm a man. I generally sound very confident about whatever I say even when it's, "I don't know." My female P.A. co-worker was definitely a little pissed off about that.

I also just realized that yesterday I had an EXTENSIVE conversation about a laser hair treatment. She had wanted to speak with Boss and a medical assistant said she would get him for her. Yeah, right. There was no shot he was going to see this patient that wasn't on his schedule and also not paying for an office visit.

I walked into the room and introduced myself to this patient I had never met before. I told her that Boss wasn't available but that I would be happy to answer any of her questions. We talked about whether this was a logistically practical treatment, the effectiveness of the treatment and the data to back it up. She made her decision based off my talk with her and she went on her way. In retrospect she totally thought I was something other than a medical assistant. All of the patients initially think I'm a P.A. and just because I have a pair of balls.

13

After 3 e-mails and 1 phone call I finally got my Wait List School to tell me how the wait list works. I'm placed 13 out of 50 people. The class holds 50 in total with an additional 50 on the wait list. I am not feeling too optimistic about this school since it means over 1/5 of the accepted candidates have to reject their acceptance. My mom on the other hand seems to think this is a very good standing. I may have mentioned before that my mom recently did a Clinical Psychology PhD program and is currently in her Internship year. She said that at her program their total class size was 40 and had a 40 person wait list size and that they took many people off it. The fact that a program has a wait list that's as large as its class size is suppose to make me feel better. We'll see. 13 also happen to be my lucky number, which may sound like a weird number to be considered lucky, but it make sense.

On the other hand I feel a little more hopefully about the other program I interviewed at. I know that that program is considered a safety school for a lot of people. So even if I ranked as well on their Wait List as I did at the other school, than I think I have a pretty good chance.

Waiting is SO MUCH FUN AND SO GOOD FOR YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE!

Seconds

The theme of this week was "Second Experiences." I had my second (and final) P.A. interview interview and I also went on my second on-line inspired first date.

The interview went well like they usually do. They seemed to like my answers to a lot of things, made them laugh, etc. But I'm also 100% sure that this was a courtesy interview, so I have low hopes.

On Sunday I went on a date with someone I "matched" with online. We did the brunch thing. I had a good time, but felt that the conversation was being fueled mainly by my asking questions. He answered questions and kept up an okay conversation. We then proceeded to just walk around after cause it was nice outside, so I guess it's a good sign that he didn't run away from me. Long story short, two days later I send the e-mail saying I had a good time and would like to go out again, and I got the "I don't see thing turning into a relationship" letter. Womp womp.

I kind of wish dating was like applying to schools where you can ask "What did I do wrong, how can I improve, etc." Because we did have a good e-mail correspondence. He did ask questions then, and kept a conversation. But then the at the brunch I felt like I was doing all the work. Where was his attempt to get to know me. Maybe he did try, and I just don't realize it. I'm almost tempted to ask what went wrong? But I feel that's pointless. Maybe it was the fact that I live kind of far away from him, maybe it's cause I'm not at the right professional point in my life, maybe it's because I live with my grandparents, maybe it's my looks. It could be a combination of things, but most of them he knew before hand. So I'm at a loss. In the end I'm not going to ask anything like that because it really doesn't matter. It's not like I can change any of those things right now.

As is life. But I have to say this all kind of reminds me of how I don't get why I'm still the most stable person of all my friends. I feel like I should be having a mental break down, but I'm not. Yet...